Can I please vent here?!
redhotchili83
member
I am so frustrated right now. DH's father is gay and has been with his partner for 15 years. When our baby was born, FIL's partner went into work and brought in celebratory bagels to his office celebrating the birth of his first grandchild. Some a**hole takes a bagel and asks him how he could possibly be a grandfather. When he explains that it's his partners son who had the child, he tells him Well that doesnt make you a REAL grandfather, does it?!
THEN I am talking to someone that I work with about our baby and his large family. They had the nerve to ask me how i was going to explain our "strange circumstances" to our baby and if we were going to raise him to think this was "normal". I almost throat punched her!!
I never realized the severity of the stupidity in the world until recently. People have always made stupid comments about DH's dad and partner, but now that we have a child, its gotten so much worse. I really commend all of you for what you have to put up with and I wish you all the best of luck!
Re: Can I please vent here?!
I am so sorry that you have to endure such emotional stress. I'm African-American and my partner is Asian- American, we deal with this all of the time. I have convinced myself that you will NEVER be able to control what is said or done to you. You will only be able to control how you react. I would use these moments as growth opportunities to teach these individuals that the world is full of different types of family structures and no one situation is stranger than any other. Some times I want to tell people to shut the he#% up but then I realize that I'm only perpetuating the stereotype of an angry black lesbian woman! So I use my educated voice and kindly walk away. Life is stressful enough why waste minutes of my day that can be devoted to my child, on someone like that?!
My favorite thing to say is "with people like you in the world, you can trust me that he will be prepared".
GREAT idea AliciaNNorman!
UGH. WTH is wrong with people! I hope he took his bagel back :-)
I am so sorry he had to go through that. I think it's wondeful that you have such an open and loving family. Congratulations!
This just proves the amount of ignorance in the world. Thank God for all of the people that are open-minded and supportive. Hopefully, we will continue to find more and more of those.
This is part of the reason that my wife and I are starting our own "gay-friendly" day care in NJ. We want to make sure our son encounters as little of this type of behavior as possible.
If anyone knows anyone looking for an inclusive day-care, have them check us out: www.2mommiesdaycare.com
I totally relate to wanting to throat punch someone. Our baby is going to be luckier than many having two parents that adore him and each other. What could be better than that?!?!
First of all, I recommend all of Todd Parr's books (the family book, the mommy book, the daddy book, the grandma book, the grandpa book).
When my grandfather's girlfriend went to her Doc and said how her "friend"s granddaughter (me!) just announced she was expecting the doc said, "oh how nice! you'll be a great-grandma". She said, "no I won't". The doc said, "yeah, but you'll act like it" :-)
It's all about love and emotions. Block out the hate and know that you're above those small-minded people. (and your children will be better off for it, too!)