rude comments on gender anyone? (longish)

NinjaNic

So at the moment I'm pregnant with girls #2 and #3. DH and I are super excited to have twin girls ( b/c seriously, how cool is that?? ) especially because there are so many boys in both of our families!

But lately I get more and more comments like 'Well, good for you...' or ' Your poor DH!' ' Maybe the third time its a charm!' 'You can still try for a boy'

I think those coments are beyond rude! What are those people thinking?! That our family is just complete if we have at least one boy?!  No idea!

Last time I got the 'Soo? Three girls, huh?' -one and responded with a huge smile 'Yes! I know!!! I'm such a lucky girl!!!'  But sometimes I just don't know what to say.

Anyone with all boys / all girls experienced this?

 

hilwithonelary

Well, this is my first, but I'm still annoyed with comments from people about the gender.  I can't tell you how many times people have said, "Your husband must be excited!" when I tell them I've having a boy.  I don't get it.  Do you think he wouldn't be excited if we were having a girl?  Or that I must not be excited to have a boy?  I think people just don't have a clue sometimes.  Sorry you're having to deal with it  

Aliliv

I got that a lot too with my second pregnancy, and this time everyone keeps saying.."Oh, you must be hoping for a boy"  or "your DH must really want a boy with time."   It's so annoying.   I just say we want a healthy baby and that the gender doesn't matter or that we have all the clothes for a girls, so we are hoping for a girl.  

I actually sort of blew up at one of DH's friend last pregnancy because he was teasing DH about his inability to make a boy...   I told him that a healthy baby is all that matters and that making a boy is no measure of a guys masculinity and further ranted to him.  I was fed up at the time.  And, was getting really irritated that my little girl was apparently "less" special because she was going to be a girl.......

skiwic8

I don't understand why people make comments at all.  The only appropirate reaction to gender should be "So excited for both of you! Congrats!" Both of our families were hoping for a girl. H's side because there are already 2 grandsons.  And my side because in 3 generations there has only been 1 male so girls are what my family knows.  We are having a boy.  His family is vocally disappointed because they were hoping for a neice/granddaughter.  My family is disappointed because they think girls are cuter and more fun.  Makes me feel terrible.  I am so in love with this little boy.  Both DH and I are thrilled!  It makes me sad for him that people are disappointed he's not a she! 

NinjaNic

hilwithonelary:

"Your husband must be excited!" when I tell them I've having a boy.  I don't get it.  Do you think he wouldn't be excited if we were having a girl?  Or that I must not be excited to have a boy?

The same here! Do they really think my DH is just happy about a boy and not about girls? He always says he is ment to be surrounded by beautiful girls. And let me say, he s more than thrilled to have healthy little babies and that is all that counts!!!

Julia-Henry

I have a ds and am working on a dd, and I get a ton of "that's perfect" or "aren't you lucky" comments. Um, no. Having healthy kids is perfect and lucky - just because your ideal is one of each doesn't make it better than two of one.

I think it's rude to comment on someone else's kids. It's also rude to assume that any particular combination is somehow better.

Being pregnant makes you public property. People feel free to say and do just about anything, without needing to be polite

nickschick!

This is my first. I get the, "Your DH must be so excited." comment a lot. Um, yes, but I think he'd be excited either way...

I also get the, "Wow, you were that sick with a boy? You better never have a girl."  I agree, it sucks to have m/s at 31 weeks, but your commenting isn't helping!

betsnup

Yep.  With me, I've noticed that friends and family that either have no kids or at least one of each tend to automatically say "Well, I'll guess you'll have to try for a girl!" where friends/family that have all of one sex say something along the lines of "Ooh, brothers!  You'll have so much fun!"

Boizmom

I'm pregnant with my 3rd boy.  I get the "Oh poor you" comment all the time.  Tell you what...it's annoying!  I LOVE that I have all boys.  I love my boys to death!  I wouldn't trade them for girls for anything.  God knows I would not be a good mother to girls.  I grew up with 3 brothers, I know how boys can be.  I swear if one more person bestows false pity on me because I am having another boy I might go berserk on them.  I don't understand why people feel the need to be like that.

NinjaNic

Julia-Henry:

Being pregnant makes you public property. People feel free to say and do just about anything, without needing to be polite

Totally what I experience every day!

NinjaNic

Boizmom:

I'm pregnant with my 3rd boy.  I get the "Oh poor you" comment all the time.  Tell you what...it's annoying!  I LOVE that I have all boys.  I love my boys to death!  I wouldn't trade them for girls for anything.  God knows I would not be a good mother to girls.  I grew up with 3 brothers, I know how boys can be.  I swear if one more person bestows false pity on me because I am having another boy I might go berserk on them.  I don't understand why people feel the need to be like that.

Ha! Me too! I might turn green and grow a bunch of muscles too. Don't upset a pregnant lady~hulk

scubaspot

Everyone asked me if my DH was still excited when we found out that LO is a girl. I was shocked that so many people assume that men only want boys or are disappointed if the first born isn't a boy.

It sounds really cheese ball but all we really wanted was a healthy child, no matter if that child came with a penis or a vagina. It would be nice to have one of each but if we end up with all girls our family will still be more than complete.

themathgirl

We're having twins also (2 boys) and I've had SO many people tell me, "Oh, too bad it's not a boy and a girl then you could have been done". I'm sorry, who said I had to have one of each to be finished making my family? And who are you to tell me when I'm done having kids?! These comments have come from family, friends, and strangers alike. It makes me annoyed... Sorry you have to deal with it too!

NinjaNic

Thank you. I got the ' Oh you could have been done if there would be a boy' one too. Seriously. WTH?

And congrats on twin boys

luckyu522001

All I can say is "Twin girls?! How freakin cool is that?!"

FutureMrsDavidson

People are dumb. I wish I was having twin girls.

melissabshelton

I have a DD from a previous marriage, DH has a DS from a previous marriage, we're expecting a girl.  We will have my DD and our DD in our house.  We have his DS maybe once a month.  We're looking forward to it.  People are always telling us that "it's a good thing ex-wife already gave DH a son", "girls are great but nothing will ever come close to DH having a son", things like that.  I'm going to punch the next person that says anything like that.

RadicalDreamer143

My own mother sighed, and told me, "Eww, a boy.  Sorry to hear it." when I told her.  This is typical, and part of the reason I live 700+ miles away.

broomy

I'm mostly just sick of DH following my "It's a boy!!" with "Yeah, and she was mad when we found out, haha."

Just because someone kind of hopes for one sex does not mean they're pissed and outraged when they get the opposite. Sigh. I never even expressed anything close to anger when we found out, either! I just asked the tech if she was sure, because I couldn't see his junk!! LOL!

IrishBrideND

Just let it go. Its not a big deal. People say dumb things. No use getting upset about it.

 

Imagine how many comments my poor aunt recieved when she gave birth to her 6th boy? She just lets it roll off her though.