What's normal? Is your DH/SO spending the night after LO is born?

AngelxxRose

After reading the hospital bag lists, I wondered if everyone's DH/SO is spending the night at the hospital with them after they give birth.  We live about 20 min. from the hospital so we were thinking that DH would go back to our house.  What are your plans?

fIowerchild

MH stayed with me for our first child. I am encouraging him to go home this time.

shalanek01@aol.com

Mine did with my son. This time I am 95% sure I am going to make him stay at home with him. I don't want to make my son stay somewhere else for a few days because I am just not comfortable with it.

nickschick!

We live about 5 min from the hospital. DH is planning to stay, but if he can't sleep or wants to, he will go home.

zoieglow

My husband stayed overnight and went to work the next morning so he could take all his time off once we were home. I was in the hospital for 4 days after the c-section. I didn't want most of his week off in the hospital. He stayed at the house the rest of the nights I was there and visited me when he got off work until about 10.

mlf625

DH stayed every night when I was in the hospital with DS, I loved having him there.  I think this time he'll stay the first few nights (I'm having a c/s again and it's helpful to have the help) and then go home for a night or two with DS.

12bailey18

We are 10 minutes from the hospital and DH is spending the night with me in the hospital. I don't think he wants to be away from his wife and baby, we never even discussed him going back home to sleep. He'll run home to let the dogs out, grab some things, etc but he's spending the night. They have little fold out beds for the spouses so I think it's the norm here.

AbsoluteLM

Hs are only allowed to stay at private rooms in our hospital... which cost like $500 a night out of pocket! We live only 15 minutes away, though, so DH will go home to sleep and my parents will most likely be staying with him at our apt. 

PinkRobot9510

With my first son my husband stayed with me the entire time.. except to go home to shower.. we lived about ten minutes away from the hospital.

This time around we still live ten minutes away but he will be sleeping at home with our first son. I just don't want our son to have to stay somewhere (even with the in-laws) if he doesn't have to.

Im not very sure what the 'normal' thing is.. but whatever works for you guys should be what you do.. My friends husband didn't stay with her because at her hospital, they had a pull out bed that he didn't fit on. It just didn't make sense for him to go through that when he had a bed at home that he could get some actual rest on.

 

krissyh21

My hospital was only 10 minutes away, so H went home and came back.

lilitaliangirl

My DH is staying with me at the hospital even though we only live 10-15 minutes away. His parents are just up the street from the hospital, so he will probably take showers at home and stop by the ILs to check on our furbaby.

justrachet

We live about 4 min from the hospital, and he is going to stay with me. We don't have any other kids or pets at home that would need tending to. He doesn't think he would sleep at home, knowing the baby and I are up at the hospital.

kattyleigh

DH and I cuddled up and shared the hospital bed during our one night in the hospital. We hardly slept because DD was making noises and we were so unsure of everything. But I am SO happy he was there. I would have been lonely without him and he was an amazing help getting water, ice for "down below", snacks, everything. Plus, he didn't want to miss a second.

Tina272

Unless we get lucky and get a private room then DH won't be allowed to stay overnight.  I am actually pretty upset about it and trying not to think about it too much.  I will be checking myself out ASAP if that happens.  My mom is a lactation consultant and my MIL was a nurse for years in a hospital nursery so I will be in good care at home.

IrishBrideND

NicksChick!:

We live about 5 min from the hospital. DH is planning to stay, but if he can't sleep or wants to, he will go home.

This exactly.

RJBWife

DH stayed overnight with DS, but this time he'll come back to the house.  We're only a 5-10 minute drive to the hospital.  It's also tax season and he's a CPA so I don't expect him to be able to get away from the office the entire time.

Married2MrWright

We live 5 minutes from the hospital...DH will stay the night with us as long as we have to be there.  My mom will go to our house and look after our furbabies and get the place tidied up for our return home (make beds, fresh towels, groceries, etc.)

HappilyScotts

I have never heard of anyones DH/SO not spending the night. We live not even 2 miles from the hospital and DH will prob go home to shower and pick up anything we might have forgotten but I don't think I could make him go home at night, even if I wanted him to. At our hospital after you have the baby they move you into what they call a 'family' room, it's bigger so there's room for visitors with a bigger bed for you and a sleeper sofa for DH, so it's kind of expected that your DH stays with you.

Carmeltopher

My DH stayed both nights with me. This had a lot to do with the fact that our DD was in the NICU and they were giving us updates all the time (even in the middle of the night). Although, I think he would have stayed with me no matter what - he left to take a shower at one point and had a hard time leaving. (it was actually really cute.)

joeandlisa210

Even though we live only ten minutes from the hospital my DH is planning on staying. He is so excited awaiting the arrival of our baby girl and wants to spend every moment possible with her. He will be running home during the day a few times though to let the dog out and pick up anything that we need/want.

jescgrl

probably going to stay the first night, then we play it by ear.IL's will have DS while we're there but I know DH won't be able to go 3-4 days without some snuggles

mrssamuels2b

Not sure...it really depends on what day the baby is born...dh is self-employed so if it's the night before a work day he may just go home...if he's off the next day he'll probably stay...I'm not pressing the issue either way...I'm a big girl...in the long run it's more important that he works

poison489

DH will be staying with me and the baby.  I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Ciconrad

DH spent the night with DS and will again this time.  I was BFing so although we sent our son to the nursery at like 11 pm, they still brought him back at 3 am and 6 am for me to feed again.  Being a new mom, I was just nervous and emotional (and very, very tired from L&D) and I needed some support there.  DH also didn't want to miss out on any bonding time.  Even though I am less nervous about the basics of taking care of a baby this time, I still want him there.

soon2bemrsmarr

We live very close to the hospital, and DH tried to stay last time but could not get comfortable in the minature cot they gave him so he would go home and sleep for a few hours and then come back and be with us.

 This time since it is planned c/s, he will be coming during the day for a few visits, then taking care of our little guy, and at night after little man is in bed, MIL will come and stay with him and DH will come to the hospital, I am thinking that maybe I might have him work for the time I am in the hospital and then take the time off for the following week, DS can go to his aunties during the day!!!!

Paige's Mommy

My DH didn't stay with me when I had DD because it happened earlier than expected and we had no one to take care of our dog. It was AWFUL! I had a c-section and could have really used the help getting in & out of bed and picking up DD.

This time he will be staying at least the first 2 nights, I'm having a planned c-section so we have everything organized this time! 

We also have to pay for a private room, but it is TOTALLY worth it!!!!!!!!!!

urbanwifey

fIowerchild:

MH stayed with me for our first child. I am encouraging him to go home this time.

This!  The first time it was great to have the moral support and the physical help, this time I need him rested and responsive to our toddler.

thewarrens

He stayed for 8 days when we delivered Jack (it was very complicated, I lost the baby, and had to be put under completely - which is why we were there so long).  He'll stay all 4 this time, too.

NJBride4-8-05

Yes he will be spending the night. He took very good care of me and the nurses didnt have to do a thing.  We are about 35 min from the hospital. 

kristinem17

DH will most definitely be staying the night with me and he will be with me at the hospital for as long as I am there.

Jerseygirl16

Mine has never spent the night and won't this time either.  The first time he probably would have but I had a roomate and he was not allowed.  The next time he went home to take care of our dog.  This time he'll want to be there for our two little girls. 

ecoppins

Dh will be staying with me. We live 10 minutes from the hospital, but my sister will be taking care of the dd, the dog and the house while I'm at the hospital. If she weren't in town to help, he would probably be going back and forth between the two. 

SLOmama

DH stayed with me the entire time when DD was born.  Now that we have her at home, I would prefer if he goes home to tuck her in then comes back to see me, then goes home and sleeps there, since she wakes up during the night sometimes.  We will have family staying there with her, but I think she will feel better if her daddy is there.  If I need help during the night with BFing or anything else, one of the nurses can help me. 

betsnup

DH stayed with me in the hospital each night, and I couldn't imagine doing it alone.  The first night I was absolutely exhausted from labor and delivery, and at one point didn't even hear the baby wake up.  DH was able to comfort him and by morning the two already had an amazing bond.  That day I sent DH home to get some sleep for a few hours while my mom stayed with me, and then he was back to spend the night.  That was the night I really needed him the most because I was struggling w/ nursing and broke down sobbing multiple times.  I don't know what I would have done w/o his support there each night.

He'll be there at night with me this time around, too, and D will be staying with my ILs.

Hip2Bsquare

I am giving birth at a birthing center...they have a queen size bed for DH and I to take a nap or rest after birth. However, you get to go home 4-6 hours after labor if everything is going well. So we plan in being in our own beds.

sioraigra

Call me a weenie but I would want my husband there as much as possible. Plus at our hospital there isn't a nursery, because the baby is with you the whole time.  So depending on how she is born (vaginal or c section) I would probably need him there to help take care of her too.  Plus I would feel lonely with out him there! 

PurpleK26

We live an hour from the hospital... he's staying. He may go home to get things, shower etc. but he's allowed to use my bathroom/ shower at the hospital too. I think our plan is for him to just stay the whole time, but if he needs to run home for something, he will.

kristalovesjared

We live about 40 minutes away from the hospital and DH is planning on staying. Assuming we're only there one night... if I have a c section or something, he may go home to sleep so he can go to work if I have to stay for a couple days... I'm not sure, we'll just have to see how it goes. I'm sure he won't want to leave me and our LO though.

Sawyerplus1

fIowerchild:

MH stayed with me for our first child. I am encouraging him to go home this time.

Exactly.?

starryeyeddreamer

12bailey18:

We are 10 minutes from the hospital and DH is spending the night with me in the hospital. I don't think he wants to be away from his wife and baby, we never even discussed him going back home to sleep. He'll run home to let the dogs out, grab some things, etc but he's spending the night. They have little fold out beds for the spouses so I think it's the norm here.

This for us too. DH wants to stay with us & they have fold out beds too. He may go home to check on the cats - but we are about 30 minutes from the hospital. If all goes well they will be fine on their own for a night or 2. Plus we have family & friends who will be more than willing to check on them for us. 

katleighk

DH doesn't know it yet, but he is staying with me For a long time, he thought that we ALL (including baby) went home that same night.....what a weirdo.