Would you consider this "cheating?"

BubblyToes

H and I are watching Suze Orman (while the football game is at commercial, I feel the need to disclose).  Chick is calling in about her partner's secret credit card.  H feels that this is "cheating."  He says he would flip out if he found out I had a secret credit card.

I don't think it's cheating, I think if a partner feels like they have to "hide" a credit card/purchases from the other partner, then there are much bigger issues to deal with.

Yodajo

I don't think its "cheating", but its definitely dishonest and probably a vehicle for someone to cheat.

belle204

Um, no. Unless the card is giving more than that "spending pleasure" I don't think so.

GettinNervous

It's not "cheating," but it's dishonest and I would lose trust in my spouse. What is he hiding? I thought it was wrong of my XH not to tell me he got a speeding ticket. That's my money, too.

FriskyPanda

Not cheating to have a secret credit card.  Definitely dishonest and there are apparently issues, but a secret credit card alone is not cheating.

Temp108743750006959

the first thing I thought of was someone being embarrassed about debt, not about 'cheating' --- but maybe I'm naive!

BubblyToes

PMQ, that's pretty much my side of the argument.  I definitely wouldn't even consider labeling it as cheating.  But then again, my husband is very weird and anal about money.

SC2now

not cheatig but is a major signal of a trust issue...

PoundCake

Not cheating.  Maybe more trust.  Although I think every woman should have a secret stash of some cash for herself just in case and if plastic works instead...

I think its different if your using it and causing debt.

Goose51504

It's not cheating. However, it's completely dishonest and screams, "I've got something to hide." Something like that could be the catalyst for cheating, but is not, by itself, cheating. Kwim?

Temp159135562506975

it's not cheating - but it does show there's a problem in the relationship in how they deal with money.

am073104

Not cheating (though my dad did eventually cheat...moving on...) but my dad had at least two credit cards my mom did not know about, so when then eventually divorced they were nearly $50K in debt that my mom did not know about, but that they were both responsible for, and they both had to file bankruptcy... thanks a bunch, dad. =(

Definite trust issues when you can't be honest about money and debt, IMO.

wildfloweragain

I'm with pound cake.  I'm all for women having their own stuff so why can't a man?  I have a very good relationship with DH but because of things I witnessed in my mom's marriage, I have a stash.  Not a credit card, because I've seen those lifetime movies:)