I feel like a failure. (vent/longish)

kaylenpar1

As a person. I'm married, have a house and a baby, and we can barely make ends meet.  It's been a rough couple of months, money wise, because DH works in the union and he doesn't get paid for any days or holidays he doesn't work.  So the past few weeks he's only been getting paid for 3 days of work a week because of snow days and holidays. 

We have 3 credit cards and between them all we owe about 3K.  We have tons of medical bills from DH's knee surgery last year and DD's birth this year, most of which we cannot pay and they have been turned over to collections. 

Today my parents told me that they are pretty much bailing us out.  My mom went with us to BRU because we needed to get formula and she said she wanted to tag along, but she ended up buying us our 2nd convertible car seat that we will need soon and tons of clothes and the case of formula.  On top of that, she gave us some cash. And when we got back we started talking about our financial situation and it all came pouring out.  It was embarrassing.

It's great they want to help, and I am extremely grateful for it, but I feel like a failure.  Here I am, with my own family and I still need my parent's help.  They have done so much for us already, I just feel so, so bad about it. 

Sorry if this sounds whiney or condescending or whatever.  

kit443

I totally feel you on this one. It is rough out there. You are not a failure, things will get better.

manda_mullins

aaaaaw! i'm sorry.

 

that's awesome they want to help out. maybe you can consider it as a loan from them so you don't feels o bad about it, then can pay it back in time? 

Aprilsies

Everyone struggles one way of another. Dh has been in and out of work the past 2 years and it has been he!!..... we're lucky that we've been able to handle our bills (just barely) . Things will get better... have a plan and work on it. Lots of prayers to you and your family! And it's so generous your mom was able to help.

kaylenpar1

manda_mullins:

aaaaaw! i'm sorry.

 

that's awesome they want to help out. maybe you can consider it as a loan from them so you don't feels o bad about it, then can pay it back in time? 

That's what I was thinking.  Maybe I'll do a monthly payment to them once everything is taken care of.

JOEBunny

I think it is hard to be 23 and not need help.  Just keep trying to get better and better.  I think the biggest problem with the current way health insurance is done is for the young and the old.  It is very hard to pay cash for any real medical procedures if you don't have health insurance, and it will ruin you for years.  When I was 23, I paid almost $4,000 a year for insurance and that was just for me!  I can't imagine what it would be now. 

Keep trying to get better jobs, to save more money, ect.  eventually you will get there. 

Mrs.S9102005

With the exception of having a house, you wrote my story.

We rent, but our debt is ridiculous, we have even more credit card debt. I was put on bed rest in my 2nd trimester no disability. DH had emergency gallbladder surgery when DS was 9 weeks old and I had just started back to work. With a 20% co insurance and our FSA wiped out we are also in collections (one of them called 2 days before Christmas wanting to set up $200/mo payment due yesterday)

DH and I are so discouraged, we could use my parents help, but I don't let them know everything and i'm too proud to ask for it, so is DH. My parents give us free daycare the days I work and they paid for DS's cord blood storage. 

I feel the same way, I'm 35 years old, have my own family and in a total mess.

If we buy a house before DS starts 1st grade it will be a miracle.

LaurenNBill

You are not alone, although I am almost 10 years older and STILL have my parents help us out occasionally. I don't like it either, but I'm in similar circumstances as your DH and my job only pays me when I work. It's a dream for being a mom, not so good when you owe a lot of money! 

I agree with PP, set  up a repayment schedule. It will make you feel better and show your parents you are serious about repaying them. We have a few through the Bank of My Parents and it works out well.  

Amymichelle925

It's a bump in the road.  You are not a failure or anything close to it.  It's great that your parents want to and are able to help you thru this rough patch.  I am sure there are many ways you can pay your parents back even it's it's not in money.  It will get better, stay positive!

deeanneharris

((hugs)) I know you have had a rough time lately. It sounds like it is going to all start working out that and that is great that your mom is willing to help. Things happen and it sounds like you are doing the best you can.

kaylenpar1

Thanks, ladies, for all your support.  I needed it.  I lubs you all.

Mrs.S9102005

I'm sorry I meant to also add that you aren't a failure, it's good that you are accepting help and I really hope that 2010 brings better finances for you.

Hang in there.