3rd Trimester
rnfromtn
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Things you feel strongly about..No flames ladies!
rnfromtn
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1. I do not want every(or any) member of the extended family kissing my baby on the mouth. Gross!
2. Yes, I am using a breathable bumper and a sleep sack.
3. My baby will not be sleeping in the bed with us.
4. Despite what others say, my baby will be sleeping in an heirloom cradle. Over thirty other babies have slept in it, mine will be just fine.
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Re: Things you feel strongly about..No flames ladies!
1. Baby will not be sleeping in bed with us.
2. I will not have some stranger watching my baby - especially knowing how little investment/care they have since it isn't their own child.
3. I will be keeping both my dogs - dogs should be treated like family and are not disposable just because you now have extra work/responsibilities and don't feel like "dealing" with them.
4. I will be breastfeeding and making my own baby food.
I feel strongly about having at least 2 hours after the birth of our son for JUST US to bond with him!!!
I don't want ANYONE staying with us for the week after his birth! Visitors... okay... no in house guests! :-P
My MIL will NEVER drive w/my son or babysit him alone... good thing she is in NY & we're in IN!!!
1) carseats! I am so picky about how its installed and how LO is buckled. I have been nannying for a long time and my pet peeve is people who don't follow rules for carseats!
2) LO will sleep with us
3) I refuse to let someone tell me I need to give LO formula too its a recipe for breastfeeding to not work
4) Daddy will be getting just as comfortable with LO none of this I wake up all night long or he can't stay home alone with him.
1. I will not be reading any books or trying to follow any of these BS parenting methods. I will learn what works for Gia as we go through it and take the advice of my family if I need it.
2. I believe that stomach sleeping is ok, and in most cases babies sleep better and longer that way. It's all about watching your child.
3. Every little cry or whimper doesn't require attention. Babies just cry and fuss sometimes.
4. If your baby's head is misshapen from birth you should shape it so they won't have a horrible looking head as they get older.
1. I will not be choosing to have a c-section. I am trying to go all natural/no meds if for some reason I HAVE to have one then so be it but I would not choose it.
2. He will not sleep in the bed with us. He will have a PnP by our bed.
3. I am gonna breastfeed and don't want to use formula.
4. No alcohol for me while I am pregnant.No flames but how do you shape a baby's head?
1. We won't give up our dogs just because we have a baby. It won't be easy but we are invested in our dogs and made a promise to be their forever home - no inconvenience on our part will change that.
2. I will be breastfeeding. It won't be rainbows and kittens but it is important to me and I won't be giving up.
3. We will be sleep training our baby for the benefit of the whole family - everyone needs to be well rested and we will stick to schedules as much as needed to make that a reality.
4. I believe in the saying "to make a marriage last, put it first" and so we will be making time for us, taking advantage of family nearby that can care for our LO while we have some time for ourselves.
5. We may be new at this, but we aren't idiots and we plan to make up our own minds about what is best for our baby. That is the definition of parenthood.
Us too! We have already informed our families that we will call them when we are ready for visitors after the baby is born. And I spent an hour explaining to my mother why I would not feel like "entertaining" her and her husband the week after my baby is born and pleading for her to stay away for a few weeks. Does that make me a horrible daughter?
We also will not allow family to be pacing in the waiting room or standing outside the door while I am in labor..just not my thing.
1. LO will not be sleeping with us, PnP is near by for now.
2. No drinking for me during pregnancy or while I breastfeed.
3. I will have an epidural, have planned on it since the moment I got the BFP.
4. DH and I were married first. LO will not get in the way of our relationship. We were a couple first, parents next.
5. If need be, we will give up the dog and/or cat. We love them, but LO is much more important at this moment. Of course we would try to set them up with family, not just out on the street.
My question too. My little one was born yesterday with a little cone head and we've done nothing to "shape" it and it's perfectly normal today
Piper Jo: October 14'
1) The first few hours after the baby's birth are sacred for our little family unit. It will just be my partner, me, our son, and our older daughter. I don't care who's in the waiting room or how long they've been there. They can wait to have their peek.
2) Breastfeeding is very important to me, and I will do whatever I can to exclusively breastfeed for at least the first year.
3) This time, if someone asks what they can do to help, I will be very specific, with "Please bring us dinner," or "I could use help with the laundry," instead of saying "Oh, we're doing great!" I learned last time that you've got to take all help that's offered and not leave people guessing.
4) During my leave, I will strictly follow the advice to "sleep when the baby sleeps." If I get behind on chores, that's where number three can come in. I would rather be well-rested and cheerful for my family that have the chores done but be exhausted.
1. Like MrsJJC, we believe that our relationship needs to come first in order for it to last. We have friends who always put their kids before themselves, to the point that they don't do anything as a couple without the kids, and their relationship has majorly suffered as a result. That will NOT be us.
2. My IL's will not be allowed to babysit. They can't even follow a few simple rules for our dog, so I am not trusting my son with them.
3. Nobody but DH will be in the delivery room with me. My mom and sister were especially disappointed about this, but as much as I love them, too bad. This will be the first time for DH and I to be with our son as our own little family.
Maybe it really is a "black" people thing lol. It's probably going to sound way worse than it is. You barely put pressure on the baby's head using both hands to make the baby's head round if it's misshapen (cone head, lopsided, flat spots, etc). A lot of the time it isn't necessary, like in Cola's situation.
This isn't a flame, but under no circumstances should you attempt to manually correct an infant's misshapen head. Doing so you risk inflicting brain damage or even death. There are treatments to correct the shape that your pediatrician can initiate, such as a helmet, if the head doesn't correct itself.
1. No visitors at the hospital for AT LEAST 2 hours after birth.
2. Exclusive Breastfeeding for the first 6 months.
3. MIL will not be making any decisions as to how we will raise our child. She felt giving DH cereal on day 2 of life just so that he'd sleep was ok!!!!!!!!!
4. In-laws will not be baby sitters.
5. No visitors at home for at least one week after birth.
6. We will be parenting together and making decisions together. This is not a one parent situation like some of our friends have in their married relationships.
7. When DH has our child alone, it will not be called Babysitting!
You don't push hard enough to do any kind of damage. My mother has been in the medical field for over 20 years so I've been taught what and what not to do. I wouldn't advise people to harm their child.
ETA: I figured that it's more of an older, cultural thing. I would much rather Gia's head not be misshapen at all or correct itself of course.
Really, the only thing I feel strongly about is this:
It's MY kid, and MY body. How I choose to give birth/feed my child/dress my child/ vaccinate my child is my personal business, and no one elses.
1. Baby will not sleep in the bed with us.
2. We are using the cradle that my grandfather made and all his grandkids have slept in.
3. We are not calling anyone when I go into labor. No waiting room pacers or room visitors just to "check in".
4. At least 2 hours after the baby is born is strictly our time.
5. Even though I am going to try BFing, if it doesn't work out I will have no problem formula feeding.
M/C Dec 2010 - 5w5d Missing my sweet angel baby.
This is a great post!
1. Baby will not sleep in the bed with us.
2. I will be getting an epideral. I don't desire a "natural, drug-free' birth. If I have to have a C-section, I WILL NOT be upset. I want the doctors to do whatever they have to do to make sure LO comes into the world safely.
3. In-laws & my parents will not be built in babysitters. DH and I created this child, we will take care of all its needs.
4. MIL will have to curtail/kick her smoking habit. I don't want my child around cigarette smoke.
5. I WILL NOT entertain any adults after my LO is born. All adults should know that when they walk into my home, they better be ready to change some diapers, cook some meals, and help with feedings. Family will not come and "goo goo and gah gah" over LO and not help out.
6. I will not be using any "parent books" to raise my child. I've been teaching for 10+ years, so I've seen what works and what doesn't.
7. I do not want any unsoliciited advice for IL's about how to raise my child. Just because it worked back in '79 when DH was born, doesn't mean it will work for our LO.
8. If my attempts at BF don't work, I will not feel like a failure as a mother.
1. We will follow all evidence/research based recommendations on sleeping (no bumpers, on back, no co sleeping, no blankets)- not some peoples gut instincts that "it's ok - worked for me".
2. How we do things in labour and after birth are our business - not open discussion for every Tom, *** and Harry (or IL
)....but I am happy to hear the advice of mammas with experience if it is offered a helpful manner.
3. We'll never say never. Epidural or not. Breastfeed or not. We have goals for certain things but things sometimes get in the way of your plans and you have to be prepared to roll with it.
4. (this ones a little ways off) My child will grow up eating with mommy & daddy - not getting a seperate meal of chicken nuggets and fries instead of eating grown up food. Family meal times are hugely important in so many ways.
1. I will get the epidural again- no questions.
2. I will try harder this time to make the transition easier for my husband and I. No matter how hard you try to work on your relationship as a couple, bringing a baby home changes everything.
3. I will sleep when the baby sleeps- and not worry about entertaining people when they come over!
4. Baby will sleep in a crib- but will be welcome in bed at 5am when I don't want to get up for the day yet.
5. I will not let things stress me out this time. We'll all be ok.
1. My baby will be sleeping in an heirloom crib until he moves to a big-boy bed, it's 60 years old.
2. I think caffeine, lunch meat, alcohol, painting, feta, etc. are all ok in moderation while pregnant
3. I will not allow my ILs to come to the hospital until after DS is born. My mom will be in the room the whole time. It's not fair, but it is my body.
4. I will breastfeed for 1 year and cloth diaper until potty trained because I believe it's best for baby and the environment.
My friends who sleep trained did not regret it at all! I'm going to give it a go this time too because I was jealous how much more sleep they got early on. (And there was very little crying!)
You can tell that this is your second. This is SOOOO true. People who offer to help should know that you might need food or laundry just as much as you need someone to hold the baby so you can take your first shower in 4 days!!
This! I wouldn't say our kids will never get a special meal (if we want something spicy or non-kid friendly we'll have it and have a blander version for the kids) but it bothers me when all you see kids eat are hot dogs. My little brother is 13 now and still has to have special meals! AND DH's brother is the most picky eater - all he seems to like is junk food b/c he was never made to try new things.
I pretty much agree with what everyone else here says. We will take advice as it comes but in reality use whatever we find works. I am very interested in sleep training now though after reading this post!
Is it? I'm black. Never in my life have I heard of this. I can't imagine doing it.
1. Baby will not sleep with us.
2. I will not use plastic bottles. I don't have a single plastic cup in my house because I hate drinking out of plastic. The smell weirds me out. However, I'm willing to switch to plastic when baby is old enough to hold a bottle for his self.
Other than that I'm going to try to be flex.
1 - only our parents will be allowed to visit day one. with the twins, I dont know if they are going to end up in the NICU, what kind of birth I will have (it looks sadly like a c right now since they are in wacked out positions and with two of them in there have little chance of flipping) and I want to deal with all of that with DH and I. God willing all will go well.
2 - I will NOT be breastfeeding. there are many reasons for this including some very personal things about DH that I will not publiclly share. But with two and our situation, this is what is best for us. I was not breastfed, neither was he, nor a large amount of people in our lives and I will say, we are the least sick, non allergic, attached to our parents people I have ever met. Flame away, but that has been my experience and I know its the right thing for us.
3 - I will try to remember that it takes 13-15 times of trying something for a person to get used to a food, so the LOs will try everything many times - even if they spit out their peas 5 times, I will continue to try because I will not have them eating like i do (I try nothing, have to force down veggies etc)
4 - my children will play outside. DH and I are avid exercisers, believe in activity and fresh air, moving your body etc. I don't want them just doing stuff in the house, I want them out in the yard, getting dirty and enjoying the fresh air.
1. No one will touch my baby's hands or face w/o washing first, he's gonna be born in flu season!
2. I will use cloth diapers no matter who comes to my house to help me with the baby. They can use them too or not change the baby.
3. Baby will sleep wherever he and I sleep the best, with me, apart from me, whatever. I did a combo with DD until she was a few months old.
4. I use a regular bumper in the crib. DD got her legs and arms caught so many times I had to buy a bumper for her.
I'm sorry, but this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
My son was born with torticollis, a neck condition caused by tightening of the neck muscles in utero. This caused plagiocephaly (or a misshapen head because his head always turned to the right and he was placed to sleep on his back). Massaging your childs head will not fix this and I am seriously cracking up picturing you doing this, I'm sorry.
My son went through months of physical therapy to correct the neck problem followed by months of "repositioning" techniques to take pressure off of his flat spot and then ended up in a helmet for 4 months.
Thanks for the laugh this morning, I'm actually not trying to be mean, just letting you know what the real deal is with head shaping.
I will breastfeed and make my own food.
I will use cloth diapers.
I will let both my dogs lick all over my babe.
And NO, NO one is welcome at the hospital until I say so!
1. I will not be getting the H1N1 while this baby is in utero and will I vaccinate my child on a different schedule. I think it's lame that they have a chicken pox vaccine and if I can avoid getting that vax for my child I will.
2. I will not be giving up my life for my child especially my interests and hobbies like skiing and horse back riding. I will hope that my child shares the same interests but I will be totally fine if he/she does not.
3. I work with animals for my job and my pets are here to stay.
4. I will not be circumcising.
5. I will have a natural childbirth and I don't think the epi is the best thing out there for me or for my baby. My DH is the only person who I want at the birth, the rest of my family can come to my house once we arrive home.
6. A majority (98%) of my in-laws can not be trusted with the baby alone.
7. I really feel strongly about using eco-friendly diapers only and will make a big effort in using them but if someone gives me diapers as a gift and they aren't eco-friendly or I need to buy diapers in a pinch than I will use the other types. The cost and hassle of buying them online is worth it to me.
Amen! My SIL ends up being a short order cook every night for dinner and it drives me up a wall.
1. I am so getting an epidural. In fact, I joked with my doctor about putting one in around 8 months or so. I want to enjoy labor as much as I can, and I admit to being a huge wuss. I know that trying to go natural would be a mistake for me.
2. I am happy to have visitors at the house, but they will help out. Luckily anyone I can think of that would want to come visit wouldn't even need asking, they would pitch in anyways. My MIL will be coming to visit after the baby is born, and I am not sure if she is staying with us or not. I am not sure right now if I care one way or the other because she would, addmitedly, be a huge help.
3. I am planning on breastfeeding. I will do everything that I can to be sucessful, but if I have to switch to formula, I am not going to feel like I failed.
4. DH will be getting up to help me at night. He jokes that he isn't, but you can bet he will be. Ethan will sleep in the PnP beside our bed. I don't know for how long. I guess we'll see when we get there.
Where I grew up (different areas in Texas) it was pretty commonplace among black people and a few white people so I'm not 100% sure. That's why I said maybe.
1. My child will be raised as a vegetarian until he is much older and can make the choice himself. And so help me if anyone tries to feed him foods that go against behind my back they will no longer be allowed to have time with him alone.
2. He will be sleeping in a co-sleeper for as long as need be. If he gets a little older and moves into our bed, then so be it.
3. I will be wearing this baby often. I am NOT a fan of infant car seat carriers. They are heavy and cumbersome, and I feel like a lot of the time babies get delegated to these things for the majority of their day. I want the bonding with DS that comes from wearing him close to me often.
4. I will do everything within my power to exclusively breastfeed/pump for as long as possible. I will call in anyone who can possibly help me with problems, I will accept that it can be painful and terrible at times, and I will make it work if it is at all possible.
5. I will cloth diaper from birth to potty training. Certainly I may need to supplement with sposies depending on our care provider, and if so then I will use the most eco-friendly sposie available. I feel that this is what is best for our child, our family, and our world.
6. I will quite likely be following a delayed vaccination schedule. My animals see a holistic vet, and follow a delayed or altered vaccination schedule because I believe it is whats best. I still need to do some more research on this, but I believe I will likely come to the conclusion that a delayed schedule is the best fit for us.
7. We have three cats and a dog and they are here to stay. They will not be going anywhere for any reason. If the kid is allergic we will put him on allergy meds or do alternative therapy/treatments. My animals were here first, we promised them forever and thats what they will get.
8. I want a very specific birth, and will do everything within my power to have that birth. Including hiring a doula, making our intentions clear, and saying no if I have to. If it does not turn out the way I prefer then so be it, but I will at least know that I tried.
1. LO will be an independant sleeper. The cradle will be in our room, but not in the bed with us.
2. Smokers will have to wash up before handling LO.
3. I am hellbent on breastfeeding.
4. BIL will have supervised contact with LO soas long as his commitment to AA is in question. He will NEVER babysit. DH's family is fully supportive on this.
1. i will accept the fact that i have no choice but a c-section again. i was so exhausted from labor and surgery and fighting it last time. i am not a failure. this baby boy needs to come into the world healthy.
2. i will try harder to breast feed this time. and if it doesn't work than i am not a failure.
3. less visitors this time and no surprise visits from my mil and her sister. they are amazing but i need to rest.
4. i will do everything to help my dd transition to this change her life too. lo will need warmth, comfort, and my boob but he won't remember his first days. she will and i will do everything i can to make her feel comfortable and remind her how much she is loved.
5. i will concentrate more on the health of me and my lo than on having the perfect nursery, the perfect this... the perfect that.
6. i will be more vocal with my mom. i love her but we are two different people with two different ways of raising children. i don't need to "toughen up" through everything. if i want or need to cry i am.
7. after reading the other posts, i am going to request time alone with lo and dh after i come out of recovery. last time there were so many people in the room and i was so drugged up, tired, and overwhelmed. they can just wait in the waiting room.
To play devil's advocate...I've known people to massage baby's head to "shape" it as well. It's not like they are pushing on it like it's clay or anything...just lightly massaging. I really don't see why people think this is such a big deal.