Any AP moms of 2+ kids? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Any AP moms of 2+ kids?

How in the world do you keep your home clean? How do you balance meeting both/all your children's needs with your household duties? I'm not strictly AP, but I do a lot of AP things like co-sleep, breastfeed on-demand, babywear, etc.

I think my baby is SUPER into APStick out tongue She must have gotten ahold of a Dr. Sears book and liked what she read. She's turning very high-needs and tends to cry a lot if I'm not just holding her in my lap so she can watch her siblings play. My house is a wreck, my other kids are getting neglected and the baby is crying so much more than I'm comfortable with. I feel like I'm going to snap soon. I've ordered a Beco so I can do back-carries and hoping that will make a difference. Any advice?

Evelyn-Mommy to Ben 9.20.05 and Emily 5.14.07 and Callie 7.10.09! Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Re: Any AP moms of 2+ kids?

  • I feel your pain but this post kinda scares me.  Mine is 2 months and yours is 5 months!  So it could get worse for me in a couple months!?!?  I hoped it would get better over time?!?
  • lynn, honestly, I think we're just right in the thick of it. I always forget how hard months 2-6 are, where they are super-alert, want in on all the action, but can't sit up well, crawl to where they want to be, etc. I know once she's a little more mobile, she'll chill out. It's just HARD when they outnumber me 3-1!!
    Evelyn-Mommy to Ben 9.20.05 and Emily 5.14.07 and Callie 7.10.09! Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • Just do what you can, that's all you can do. 

    A good friend and an AP mom told me this just before Isela was born..."remember, sometimes one is just gonna have to cry"...I totally thought she was crazy, like that I would never just have to let one cry.  Well, I was wrong.  There is only one of me and two of them and sometimes I can't do it all...and I'm OK with that now.

    As for keeping that crying to a minimum?  I wear Isela a lot.  Back carries are nice for getting stuff done around the house.  We go to playgroups a lot and have resorted to way too much tv ;)

    my blog: mama quiere beso
    Joaquin's hospital and Isela's birth center med & intervention free "hypnobabies" birth stories
  • I feel your pain and understand!  You're a super Mom being outnumbered!  I don't have any advice except give yourself a break, you're raising 3 children!  BTW, when you figure things out be sure to tell me!Wink

  • it's around that age that she becomes aware of her surroundings, yet she isn't old enough, or mobile enough, to play with everyone else. Very frustrating for her.

    It will be better in a month or two when she becomes mobile.

    In the meantime, I do most of my chores late at night (after the kids are in bed) or on the weekends, when DH can help out. So my house is 100% spotless 100% of the time ... at least my kids are happy and healthy and they get plenty of mama time, which is what counts most to me right now.

  • That IS a tough age!!!!  With DS (#2), I got through the first 3 months easily and feeling like a rockstar because of it (he pretty much lived in the mei tai in the beginning).  But then I found the next 3-4 months pretty dang tough.  Like the others said, she's old enough to be aware and interactive, but not mobile... 

    Anyway, my Babyhawk has been my saving grace with this second child.  I continue to use it when I need to get things done.  He can nurse in it, and he can nap in it.  Often, it's because he loves being in it (and thus me on my feet) that I get a lot of the housework done!  Hopefully the Beco will be of help to you in that respect!

    Otherwise, don't be too hard on yourself.  You have 3 young kids!  I'm having a tough time with my two.  Easier said than done, but the hard part will pass.  Hang in there.


  • image IselaCid:

    Just do what you can, that's all you can do. 

    A good friend and an AP mom told me this just before Isela was born..."remember, sometimes one is just gonna have to cry"...I totally thought she was crazy, like that I would never just have to let one cry.  Well, I was wrong.  There is only one of me and two of them and sometimes I can't do it all...and I'm OK with that now.

    As for keeping that crying to a minimum?  I wear Isela a lot.  Back carries are nice for getting stuff done around the house.  We go to playgroups a lot and have resorted to way too much tv ;)

    Yep, this. It's hard to realize that you can't possibly be everything everyone needs all the time. Wearing the baby helps a lot. Try to make the most of naptimes. I generally save the majority of housework for after the 3 kids are in bed at night, so I can have special time with E&B while M is napping. 

  • Thankfully, having a slightly messy house doesn't phase me, though right now, it's much cleaner than it will be once I return to work. Honestly, I figure if anything is going to give, it's going to be housework, b/c it's the one thing that doesn't scream for my attention.

    I try to get DS to help as much as possible and make a game out of it- thankfully he's at an age where he still likes to help. I know there are times when DD is fussy and I can't give him the attention I'd like- DH has pretty well taken over DS's nighttime routine b/c I'm usually busy with DD. I miss reading to him every night, but usually at least try to get up to his room to sing to him. If DD will allow it, I'll wear her while tucking him in, but usually she just winds up crying b/c I'm not moving around.

    Just remember that all too soon, they become more independent and don't need us as much... you'll eventually find you have more time on your hands again.

  • I became a mom to two in November. We cosleep, babywear, and breastfeed on demand.

    DD has figured out that when I'm nursing DS, she can bring me books and I'll read to her. Or she can drag out all of her makeup and hair stuff and give me a makeover. When DS is sleeping or content in his bouncy seat or swing, I can do activities with DD or stuff around the house. We definitely rely on the swing and bouncy seat. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

    I try to plan quick meals that can be thrown together easily. I don't straighten up the house until right before DH comes home from work, and even then I usually just straighten up the living room and kitchen. We make DD clean up her room (with our help) right before bedtime each night. DH has chores that he does around the house, and DD is getting much better at helping out with simple cleaning tasks. DH will also watch both kids in the evening or on the weekends if I want to tackle a project like cleaning out our closet. 

  • Do you have a partner who could do the housework?
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