So youngest SS will be coming out soon...
but of course, not without some weirdness from BM going on...
DH talked to youngest SS today because he wants him to come out for his Spring Break since this is our Easter to have him. (it was BM's last year and when DH wanted to see both the boys for a even a few day, she told him hell no, it's MY Easter, not yours, you can't see them at all.")
So youngest SS then tells DH "Well, mom says I can come see you for a week in March because she and step-dad and big brother are taking a trip that week anyway and I'm not going. I also can't come for Easter cuz I think we're doing something and I think I only have one day off..."
DH said for SS not to worry, that he'd email BM and get dates set for March AND for Easter Break.
I just KNOW BM is trying to cook something up so DH can't have SS over Easter, but it's not going to fly. The CO states it's DH's Easter and we're sticking to it. I think it's crappy of BM not to include youngest SS in a trip they're taking and just assuming she can pawn youngest SS off on whoever - fine with us, we'll gladly take him, but the fact that she planned it without really knowing who was going to take him yet and NOT contacting DH about it is pretty childish. Now DH will have to send the first email to try and make sense of this. I'm sure it won't come without some outrageous response from her.
Re: So youngest SS will be coming out soon...
Some schools (or many) do not give days off for Easter. We only had an Easter break on the years that Easter fell late in April. So I would believe SS in that he only has a day off (usually Good Friday). So I would suggest, if you can afford it, spending Easter in his area. It would be too much driving or flying for you all to bring him back to your place.
I'm glad he is coming to visit though!
I was about to say what PP said. Schools here don't get an actual Easter break. But, it is your holiday so it your DH's choice on what to do.
Sorry - I should have clairfied - SS doesn't have a Spring Break in March - BM and her H just decided they'd take oldest SS to look at colleges out of state...?? (even though SS is 16 and just started his junior year...I didn't go look that early when I was going to school...but then again, BM thought it was a good idea for a 15 yr old to have a car too. Even though he obviously couldn't drive - it goes along with her whole "Look what I'm doing! I'm so cool!" trip that she's constantly on.
SO - anyway, my point is, they are just takng the kids out of school for a week in March so oldest SS can "go look at schools" and by proxy, youngest SS has to stay with someone (which will be us) and will miss school.
BUT - they DO have spring break over Easter - their break is Fri Apr 2nd, and they go back Mon, Apr 12th. (and last Easter when DH asked if he could just have for 3 or 4 days of this break (not on actual "Easter" which was hers) she said hell no. Now she thinks she's going to tell DH he can't have SS this time if he's getting him in March too. Not gonna fly. I don't know why everything has to be a freaking battle - and she hates for the kids to see DH and she hates if anyone brings up anything positive about DH or myself.
(regarding staying in their area - sadly, we'd never do that - BM is a total nut job and last time DH was in town there - didn't even see HER, but stopped at youngest SS's school to spend some time with him, she called DH's work and acted like a nut, saying she KNEW he was in town and feared for her life and her childrens' safety, etc, etc -which is the most outladish thing I've ever heard in my LIFE. You'd have to know my DH - he is SO non-confrontational and very easy going. (hence one small reason we have the cease and desist against her now) So, we don't stay down there EVER and when DH goes to pick up the kids, there is ALWAYS someone else present for pickup/dropoff - normally my FIL because BM is terrified of him.)
I get you now. Def sh1tty on her part. What does your CO say? Does it say your DH gets just Easter or dies it specify that he gets Easter break?
It just says "Easter weekend" but per the paperwork, it still states 50/50 legal and physical custody even though they primarily reside with BM.
I guess if she only wants SS to see his dad for a couple days over the weekend, SHE can make the 6hr drive to come get him - we can't deny her her own son, but at the same time, he's DH's son too and if she wouldn't let DH see him at ALL last Spring Break and took him out of the area on a trip, I think DH should not only get his Easter, but the Spring Break time with him as well. (Also, considering we're going to be moving cross country from them in 6 months and she knows this.) We're definitely not planning on a 12hr round trip and then another 12 hour round trip within 48hrs - kind of defeats the purpose almost. Anything she can do to cause an argument though. Ridiculous.
mom2one -
Easter weekend in 2009 was BM's Easter to have the boys. Besides Easter weekend, they also had 9 days off of school for Spring Break (Easter weekend was on the front end of those 9 days off) DH asked BM if he could have the boys AFTER her Easter weekend in 2009 (for just 3 or 4 days of their Spring Break) And she said NO, she made plans for their entire Spring Break (which we found out she hadn't) and that DH couldn't see them at all.
Now this upcoming Easter weekend is DH's turn to have the boys and we're already getting excuses that it "doesn't look like they're going to be available this Easter either." (But DH gets at least Easter with them this year, per the CO and I see nothing wrong with him having them (or in this case, youngest SS) for the entire week of Spring Break if he wants to since Easter weekend starts their Spring Break off. What's so wrong with him wanting to see his kids and why is she still trying to deprive him and either of the boys from spending any amount of quality time together?
(ETA: and I'm sorry but BM doesn't "owe" us anything and we don't owe her anything - these are equally her and DH's sons so the only person she's doing a diservice to is the boys, by trying to deprive them of visiting their father. Gee, how nice of her to "let" the father of her children see them?? I don't think so.)
I really hope he does too, mom2one...
We've always tried to be flexible and we avoid conflict when possible but if she tries to deny him this Easter visit, we'll definitely be filing for contempt of the CO because she thinks she's untouchable and DH has a right to see his boys, especially on his designated holidays. (again, if BM wasn't a total nut and didn't want to try and make an argument out of every single thing/visit/situation, there'd be no issues there! I just don't get why anyone wants that kind of drama for themselves and especially their kids.)