Number of kids - changed your mind?
YellowBride
member
I was the one that pushed for kids, although we both wanted a family, but DH was always wanting to wait. Now that we have our two sweet girls, I am happy as a clam and definitely feel DONE. DH on the other hand talks about adding a third and hinting that he would like a boy. I understand that, I'm sure if we had two boys, I'd want a girl too. BUT, I just feel like our family is complete and I don't think I could handle a third and keep my sanity. Its not a sticking point right now, b/c there is no way we could afford a third until the youngest was at least 3, but I do think about it.
Obviously, I think the "no" person wins out, b/c you shouldn't have a child if both parents aren't in agreement.
What are your thoughts? Are you happy with the size of yoru family? Has that size changed from what you originally thought?
Re: Number of kids - changed your mind?
We've been in the 1 and Done category for a long time, with a caveat that we wouldn't make a final decision until I was 40, in 4 years.
I like the idea of having another baby, but after almost a year of no sleep which has just started getting better recently, and my crazy work schedule I am not sure another child would not mean both got the crap end of the stick.
We'll see though.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
We're going to stop at 2. We are both from families with 3 kids, and I love that dynamic. I think it would just be too much, though. It sounds crazy with both of us working FT. We are doing so well now that I am even a little worried that 2 will throw us off.
I have wanted 2-3, DH wants 2. When I was recently pg with potential #2, though, I could see how 2 might be enough. Now that we lost that pg, I am back in the "3 sounds really nice" side. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that #2 and #3 are still hypothetical at this point, whereas when it was actually in existence, reality hit a little more?
So I guess we'll just see how we both feel after we've had 2 for a few years.
We are having this discussion now. I was thinking I wanted 3, DH is ready to stop at 2. Now that DS is 16 months, I do somewhat see the 'balance' of having one boy and one girl. I grew up with lots of cousins and enjoy the idea of more kids and I love babies, but the financial commitment concerns me along again a decrease in me time. We are visiting family now and my SIL just had her 3rd (she has DD 4, DD 2 and now a DS 5 weeks). I can see how hard it is for them to be out and about anywhere.
I think ultimately where DH and I are landing is that if we were independently wealthy or won the lotto, we'd absolutely have another child, but right now with us working FT, we'd are probably going to stop.
I have always wanted 3 or 4 and still think 3 would be my ideal number. But it does get more complicated when I look at DS. He is so wonderful and I feel so lucky to have him that I can't imagine that I could ever want anything more. I could never before imagine having one child, but now with DS I can totally imagine it. He is enough because he is just so wonderful (I know that all of you moms know what I mean).
That said, I think if baby #2 is a girl, we would probably stop. I think I would still want a third baby, but it would feel like we were getting greedy or something. Two healthy kids, if we have them, what an amazing miracle. I think that if we have a DS #2, that we might try for #3 or adopt #3. I really would like a little girl, and that would be a good excuse to have the #3 child I always wanted. I would be delighted for DS to have a brother or two brothers, for that matter, so no matter what I will be happy.
I think this all makes more sense in my head than written out! Bottom line, I think each baby is a miracle, so I a just glad to have DS and will be so grateful for whoever else comes along next.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO