Need advice please - really, really rough night
I am sorry for the length but I really need some advice. We have been home with Evelyn for less than a week and brought Jack home from the NICU yesterday. He is eating every 3 hours and slept well last night. Evelyn is a different story and I am not sure what to do. Please do not flame - I do not expect this to be easy just wondering if there is something I should be doing differently. She was born at 36 weeks 2 days. She currently weighs 5lbs 5oz.
1.) She sleeps well all day, in bouncy seat or on back in cosleeper. A few grunts but does well. We wake her for feedings.
2.) A few nights ago she was up from 12am to 4:30am screaming with her little face all scrunched up. When she fell asleep we would put her on her back in the cosleeper and she would immediately wake up and scream again.
3.) If she does sleep in the cosleeper at night it is only for about 10 minutes and then she grunts herself awake and screams.
4.) She was up last night from 9pm until 4am alternately screaming, eating, dosing in our arms and then screaming again. Jack was up most of the night because Evelyn was screaming. She finally fell asleep in her bouncy seat after on and off dosing in our arms until 4am.
Her doc does not think she has serious reflux since she is gaining weight well, which is awesome. She seems to just not sleep well on her back at night.
My husband and I were both up taking care of both kids last night and today we are just wiped out. I feel so bad for Evelyn b/c I do not know if something is wrong or if she is just having a rough time settling at night.
I know this will all pass but in the meantime I am not sure what to do. We are moving soon and will have more space - then we will separate the kids so Jack can sleep undisturbed.
Any advice would be appreciated - not sure how to get her through the night better - poor thing is just wiped out all day b/c of her rough nights.
Thanks!
Re: Need advice please - really, really rough night
No flames here...this is a very friendly board...I don't know if I've ever seen anyone get flamed. Anyways...
Do you swaddle them? Use a sound machine (or some sort of white noise)? I don't know why she will nap during the day but not at night...but...perhaps night is too quiet for her. I had to hold Carter to sleep (or co-sleep) for the first few months - then I swaddled and used a sound machine and he's been sttn since 3 months exactly (not that I would expect your babies to sttn yet..)
Could it be colic? I'm not sure how early that starts...Marino's colic started when he was 7 weeks actual (so 39 weeks GA). He would scream for 4 hours every night for no rhyme or reason. The only thing that helped at the time was The Happiest Baby on the Block techniques. It didn't stop until I went back to work and he got on a very regular schedule (I wish I had tried that earlier). Did you ask your pedi about colic? Its very common, as I'm sure you know, and there is a ton of information out there on it.
Ditto swaddle. It worked wonders for us. Can you try and rock her? I'm sure you've tried everything. I know it's hard, just don't give up hope. Maybe she was having a growth spurt, and that's why she was up all night long. I would also suggest, if possible, ask a friend or family to come over to help. That way you and DH can get a little bit of a break.
No flames here! As pp said, we're a very friendly board. I have seen one person get flamed but it was deserved as she made a very insensitive comment/question about preemies. But, I digress.
Anyways, DS was like this when we first brought him home. He would sleep great during the day, but not at night. We ended up leaving a light on in his room as well as a noise machine. We think he was so used to the constant noise and light in the NICU that he wasn't used to the dark quiet because as soon as we did those things, he started sleeping at night. We then gradually started turning the noise and light off after he was asleep and he is now able to sleep with just a night light and a mobile that turns off after 15 minutes. GL!
You mentioned that she scrunches up her face, but does she arch her back at all when she is up crying? Does she act like she is uncomfortable or in pain? DD had colic like symptoms, and appeared like she was in pain from gas. We used a product called Happi Tummi that is just an herbal wrap you warm up and place around their bellies. When we used it on DD she would get calm very quickly and fall asleep very peacefully.
We swaddled her, let her lay propped securely in other positions than on her back (belly only during the day when we were watching .. but that was her favorite position in the NICU), and used a really nice soothing classical music CD to dance/sway her in our arms to and then let her sleep with. When she was really having a tough time, we used a bassinett on wheels in the living room for her to sleep in and the one who was up with her would sleep on the couch. This gave the other parent a more restful night (and in your case could give your little boy a more restful night).
These early weeks are so hard! You really do go through everything you can think of, then add on everything your relatives and friends can think of ... and just when you don't think you will ever figure it all out, everythinng changes again. Good luck! And hang in there!!!
This.
Robinson had very bad colic for the first several months and would scream from 6-9pm every night...seemingly for no reason. We ended up holding him a lot b/c that's the only thing that helped. I know, though, that's not a good solution when you have 2 other children. Maybe try some Gripe Water. It may not be reflux, but she might have bad gas bubbles and that will help....I KNOW it's exhausting and frustrating...so sorry that you are experiencing this, but maybe try the gripe water and maybe an incline for her sleep...both of those things seem to help DS.
I totally agree with PP that it sounds like colic.
The Happiest Baby on the Block was a lifesaver for us when our son was small, and we have the book so nearly memorized now that we no longer have a copy. Swaddling helps a ton.
I hope you have some quieter nights soon.
I have never seen a flame on this board...don't ever worry about that.
My DD had reflux (still does) and would not sleep laying down. We finally realized the only place she would sleep was her carseat, so we brought the stroller in the house and put the carseat in it (travel system) and let her sleep in there. She slept in her travel system until she was 4 months old and then we slowly transitioned her to the bassinet on an incline. The pedi said it was fine and she was sleeping 6hours/night by 3 months, I know it sounds crazy, but when you get desperate enough, you'll try anything.
I also recommend a swaddle and/or miracle blanket...here's a pic of her in her setup
Good weight gain doesn't mean that she doesn't have reflux, it can be present in kids that gain weight really well (sometimes they cal it silent reflux). I wouldn't let your doc dismiss it just like that if she's having such a rough time.
GL!
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This exactly. my Pedi kept saying it wasn't reflux BUT i got a 2nd opinion and they said it was silent reflux. Hopefully it isn't reflux but you might want to explore that possibility.
Swaddling is a lifesaver....have you tried the myclon (sp?) drops? Maybe it's gas?