How do u feel about this?

newmom2londyn

Guilt is taking over me. I have a 3 mo old daughter (our first baby) and was off on mat leave for 3 months and just returned to work this week. The guilt of having to put her in daycare for 11 hrs a day is murder on my sanity. We hardly get 3 hours with her when we get home. I feel horrible about this. We were bedsharing and still are at this point although we are trying to begin to make the transition to the crib soon. I also feel guilty about this too because I feel like when she sleeps with me, we snuggle and bond and thats more time we spend together even though we are sleeping. I feel guilty for putting her in her crib in another room away from me and we only spend a few hours a night together in the first place. Now that she is starting daycare and going to have to get used to that, wouldnt it be too much on her to also start trying to transition her to her crib too? I dont want to push all of this (daycare transition and crib transition) off on her at the same time if it will be too much for her to handle right now. What are your thoughts????

Emilia0101

Hang in there. The first week was murder on me as well with daycare. I left daily crying once we got to the car. I am on week 4 and things are actually getting a lot easier. We are holding off the crib transition for right now and went from co-sleeping to pack n play in room to crib hopefully next month. I don't have a lot of advice just wanted to say hang in there.

sammiekc

I think that you shouldn't feel guilty about going to work because you are working to support LO.

I'm not sure if it would really stress LO out by going to daycare and then having to sleep in a crib too, but if you feel that now isn't the right time for your LO to sleep in a crib then go with your mommy instincts.

minipyro

Try it, if she cant handle it after 3 nights, then move her back. 

 In my experience with parents (I have worked in daycare) they tend to underestimate their babies. I underestimate Atticus too, especially when we moved him from the bed. 

FWIW, I have a psych degree and an early childhood development degree. I have worked in daycare for along time, before I got preg.

I understand your guilt. But if you have no alternatives to daycare, trust that many positives will come from her experience. She will be able to be left with people when needed, and will gain many social advancements. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust.  

golfbride11

I agree with you that it seems like a lot all at once.  We have plans to introduce new things over time.  We're introducing formula very soon and moving LO into his own room/crib over February vacation week.  Somewhere in there we'll start a little cereal too.  So, spreading it out a couple weeks is our plan. 

KandM05

I cant really help much with the bedsharing thing. We never did it. However, I can  understand the guilt you have about daycare.  This was my first week back, and it was hard. But already, i feel better than i did on monday. I really really do think, as others told me, that it gets better with time. Luckly at such a young age, i dont think our LO's even really know we arent there, its a 'out of sight out of mind' thing. so its harder on you than on her!  I tried to look at the positives of the situation: you get to have a break, mingle with other adults, feel accomplised by not only being a productive member of working society but also a mother. Also, the younger a child is exposed to a daycare like situation, the easier it will be in the future, they will hopefully not have such attachement issues, will be able to stay with others while  your away, will transition into preschool or kindergarden easier. And, even at 3 months old, our LO's are getting to experience lots of good things in DC. New sights and sounds, new faces, interaction with other adults and kids, etc.  As long as you have a DC that you feel comfortable with, your guilt will go away soon. Dont fret, your LO is being loved and taken care of while your gone

I have also found that the Working Moms board has been a great resource. 

golfbride11

oh - and I second the others - please don't feel guilty about going back to work.  Just keep reminding yourself that you are securing LO's future.  

mrs. remy

I had the same daycare guilt, and actually had a great talk with his pedi about being a working mom. she did it, with several kids, and she said don't let yourself feel guilty for one minute. you are working to give them things and provide for them, and you just have to make the time you do share together quality time. It DOES get better. I went back in early october and basically the first month or so really sucked but it just becomes your reality and you deal with it.

Can't give you advice about the other thing....we moved him to his crib at 8 weeks because he was outgrowing the bassinet rapidly and he did just fine with it. Actually probably slept better in the crib.

Courtney&Jason

I had a lot of guilt putting LO in daycare and we bed-share and I'm trying to come up with an opportune time to move her to her crib, especially since her sleeping is getting worse not better.

As for daycare, I was a complete mess the first week and felt so guilty.  Every day got a little easier and I absolutely love her daycare so that helps tremendously.  By the time I get her home, we only have a little play time then it is bath and bed time.  If anything, that little time I have with her during the week makes me appreciate every moment I have with her on the weekends. 

For the transition to the crib, I would do it when it feels right to you.  Maybe wait a bit until you are settled back at work and with the daycare situation.  I am going to start putting my LO in her crib for naps on the weekend and then just go from there.  Thanks to the 4 month wakeful, she is waking up every 1-2 hours at night so I am hoping that will get better before I move her to the crib.  The other thing I think is happening is we are both waking each other up, so I feel it is time to see how she does on her own in the crib.  I am going to miss sleeping with her terribly.  I love snuggling up with her and watching her sweet little face at night. 

Good luck!

chelsearenee

We are doing the same thing but we dont bedshare - she is just in a crib at the end of our bed so I dont think she'll mind the transition too much.  In your case, I would wait a few weeks to do the transition to crib.  I think you'll both feel better that way.