Austin Babies

Update....

So we talked last night.  A very long (calm) talk. 

I handed him his phone w/ the lastest texts already on the screen and asked him to explain himself.  He was honest and open about them.  We pulled up his texts from the past 6 months and all texts to her number.  For the most part they were random chatter, "what's up, what are you doing, about business (they are in the same industry), about the organization, etc.  It was the past month that she began talking about her dating life after her divorce was final.  She would initiate conversations and he would respond.  His responses were pretty vague..."NICE, HOT, etc".  There wasn't any text of plans to meet, take the text to the next level, etc.  He kept asking if I wanted to call her to verify what he was saying was true...I said no, it was between me and him and not her.  He denies any physical or emotional connection. 

He was very apologetic and pretty emotional.  When I asked "why"...he didn't really have a very good answer.  He mostly said, "I don't know why I engaged in that level of coversation with her".  "Boredom" "Need for some excitement" "Need to feel connected intimately". 

He agreed to individual and marriage counseling as well as to resign from the Board and turn the golf tournament over to someone else. 

I'm okay.  I still don't understand the "why" and maybe I never will.  I'm good with going to counseling and going from there. 

We'll see what the future holds. 

Thank you ALL for your support, hugs, prayers, thoughts.  I was very calm, straightforward, had my ducks in a row, and by doing that feel good about my decision. 

Re: Update....

  • I am so glad to hear this, I was thinking about you a lot yesterday. Sounds like you guys have reached the best possible outcome from this.
  • i'm glad you're doing okay...stay strong!  hoping for the best outcome for you and your family!
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  • imagemichelleaxo:
    I am so glad to hear this, I was thinking about you a lot yesterday. Sounds like you guys have reached the best possible outcome from this.

    I agree.  You handled such a difficult situation so well.  I hope things continue to improve.  Best wishes for a new year.  :)

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  • It sounds like the talk went well (as well as it could under the circumstances?). I'm glad he's agreed to make the changes you asked. Good luck and lots more hugs to you.  I hope counseling helps and everything works out for the best, whatever that may be for you guys.  (((more hugs)))
  • I'm glad y'all have a plan, and that things went as well as they could last night.  Hugs!
  • I think it turned out really well and I am glad he is willing to take the apportiate steps to seek counseling. I hope you the very best.
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  • I am so glad and hope that counseling helps get your marriage back on track.  You have shown so much poise in the way you've handled this and glad that it went this well and that you feel good about it.  Hugs to you.
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  • imageA&R2006:
    I am so glad and hope that counseling helps get your marriage back on track.  You have shown so much poise in the way you've handled this and glad that it went this well and that you feel good about it.  Hugs to you.

    ditto this! 

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  • imageA&R2006:
    I am so glad and hope that counseling helps get your marriage back on track.  You have shown so much poise in the way you've handled this and glad that it went this well and that you feel good about it.  Hugs to you.

    Ditto this.  Hugs.

  • It sounds like you handled this perfectly.  I'm so glad he agreed to all of your terms - it seems like he's willing to do whatever it takes to stay in your marriage.  Good luck and I hope everything works out the way you want it to. 
  • Thanks for letting us know. You have a lot of people here supporting you. I'm glad it went so well last night. I wish you the best! (((HUGS)))
  • imageKateAggie:
    I'm glad y'all have a plan, and that things went as well as they could last night.  Hugs!

    This! 

  • I'm glad that it went as well as it did. Stay strong.
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  • glad it went well.  I would be not pleased w/ his answers on why he did it, but if you can go to counseling and maybe find out why, that would be a good start to getting him to not do it again.  Hopefully.

     

    Hugs again.  Hope you're able to enjoy your NYE.

  • Ditto all the others.  I'm very glad you are feeling better about this.
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  • i'm glad you were able to talk and i'm hoping the counseling will help him to open up and get to the root of the problem.  ((hugs))
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  • I'm so glad that things went well.  Kudos to you for handling it in a calm matter.  Hopefully the counseling will really help.
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  • I must have missed your original post but I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.  I'm glad you were able to have such a good conversation about it without hateful words.  Good luck and I'll definitely be thinking of you!

  • I'm so very happy that you talked calmly and he was understanding.  It really sounds like he has some stuff to work on with himself and counseling will definitely help him with that and how to incorporate his self improvement in the relationship.  Men just don't think sometimes and don't know why they do stuff. It's hard for us women to understand. But then again the same can be said the other way around.

    Wishing you the best of luck with this. You sound like you are taking the right steps here. I know it will all work out for you.

  • I am glad to hear everything went as good as possible last night, and hope that it continues.  Hopefully you will get some more resolution in counseling and everything will turn out for the best for your family.  (((Hugs)))


  • Sounds like you were a rock star lastnight! So proud of you being able stay calm and it sounds like he is going to work on this with you! We are always here for you and sending lots of heal the hurt dust!
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  • Glad to hear that the lines of communication are open and that you are pleased with the outcome of your conversation.  You are strong and you will come through this okay, regardless of what you eventually decide to do with your marriage.
  • imageA&R2006:
    I am so glad and hope that counseling helps get your marriage back on track.  You have shown so much poise in the way you've handled this and glad that it went this well and that you feel good about it.  Hugs to you.
      This.  Sending a giant hug your way.
  • image2H2L:
    It sounds like the talk went well (as well as it could under the circumstances?). I'm glad he's agreed to make the changes you asked. Good luck and lots more hugs to you.  I hope counseling helps and everything works out for the best, whatever that may be for you guys.  (((more hugs)))

    This!

  • imagefjaril:
    Sounds like you were a rock star lastnight! So proud of you being able stay calm and it sounds like he is going to work on this with you! We are always here for you and sending lots of heal the hurt dust!

    This!  I am so impressed with how you are handling such a difficult situation.

  • Good for you for handling it so well.  I'm glad he agreed to your terms--it seem like he really wants to be proactive in this. 

    **hugs**

  • ditto everyone... you're a star. 
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  • i am amazed at how calm you are able to remain through this- you are a strong lady.  i hope he's able to get the counseling he needs and youre able to get a better explanation than "boredom, need for some excitement." 
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  • I'm so happy for you. It sounds like he wants to make things work or he wouldn't be resigning from the board! That is a huge step!! Congrats on working things out. I am so happy for you.
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  • You are brave and strong, lady!

    I'm glad to hear y'all were able to discuss things calmly and that you're okay with your plans to move forward.  I wish you all the best for your future!

  • imagebalihaigirl:
    i'm glad you were able to talk and i'm hoping the counseling will help him to open up and get to the root of the problem.  ((hugs))
    this exactly.  more hugs...way to stay calm and collected.  We will continue to be here for you.
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  • I'm glad you both are going to counseling. ?The fact that he's agreed to individual counseling in addition to the couple sessions sounds really positive. ?Best wishes to you!
  • wow.  I am really hoping for the best (whatever situation that ends up being) for your family.  Like pp said, your poise is incredible - and you are a strong woman!
  • I've been away and wanted to say that I am sooo, sooo sorry you are going through this (((hugs))). I'm so glad he has agreed with all of your conditions, and I really hope counseling will help things. Like everyone else, I am super impressed with the way you are handling this. You are one strong woman!

    If you ever want to chat, or just have some girl time or do lunch, please feel free to give me a call.

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  • Oh wow. I'm in tears just thinking how hard that must have been. Don't get stuck on the why ... like you said, you probably will never understand. I will keep y'all in my prayers and I hope the counselling goes well.
  • You're a much bigger person than I could ever be. I'm glad it went as well as could be expected.
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  • I didn't respond last night, but I did read your post. I've really been thinking about you and wondering how this turned out. I'm glad it went well. Its great that he is willing to go to couseling and work on things. Best wishes with the future and your relationship.
  • You are so strong. I'm very proud? of the way you've handled the situation and I think you've given everything the best possible chance for success. I hope you have as much "real life" support as you do from us or at least a few key people that can help you through this. It always helps to talk.

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  • You did a great job with this situation. I'm glad things are heading in the right direction
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