So we talked last night. A very long (calm) talk.
I handed him his phone w/ the lastest texts already on the screen and asked him to explain himself. He was honest and open about them. We pulled up his texts from the past 6 months and all texts to her number. For the most part they were random chatter, "what's up, what are you doing, about business (they are in the same industry), about the organization, etc. It was the past month that she began talking about her dating life after her divorce was final. She would initiate conversations and he would respond. His responses were pretty vague..."NICE, HOT, etc". There wasn't any text of plans to meet, take the text to the next level, etc. He kept asking if I wanted to call her to verify what he was saying was true...I said no, it was between me and him and not her. He denies any physical or emotional connection.
He was very apologetic and pretty emotional. When I asked "why"...he didn't really have a very good answer. He mostly said, "I don't know why I engaged in that level of coversation with her". "Boredom" "Need for some excitement" "Need to feel connected intimately".
He agreed to individual and marriage counseling as well as to resign from the Board and turn the golf tournament over to someone else.
I'm okay. I still don't understand the "why" and maybe I never will. I'm good with going to counseling and going from there.
We'll see what the future holds.
Thank you ALL for your support, hugs, prayers, thoughts. I was very calm, straightforward, had my ducks in a row, and by doing that feel good about my decision.
Re: Update....
I agree. You handled such a difficult situation so well. I hope things continue to improve. Best wishes for a new year.
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ditto this!
Ditto this. Hugs.
This!
glad it went well. I would be not pleased w/ his answers on why he did it, but if you can go to counseling and maybe find out why, that would be a good start to getting him to not do it again. Hopefully.
Hugs again. Hope you're able to enjoy your NYE.
I must have missed your original post but I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad you were able to have such a good conversation about it without hateful words. Good luck and I'll definitely be thinking of you!
I'm so very happy that you talked calmly and he was understanding. It really sounds like he has some stuff to work on with himself and counseling will definitely help him with that and how to incorporate his self improvement in the relationship. Men just don't think sometimes and don't know why they do stuff. It's hard for us women to understand. But then again the same can be said the other way around.
Wishing you the best of luck with this. You sound like you are taking the right steps here. I know it will all work out for you.
I am glad to hear everything went as good as possible last night, and hope that it continues. Hopefully you will get some more resolution in counseling and everything will turn out for the best for your family. (((Hugs)))
This!
This! I am so impressed with how you are handling such a difficult situation.
Good for you for handling it so well. I'm glad he agreed to your terms--it seem like he really wants to be proactive in this.
**hugs**
You are brave and strong, lady!
I'm glad to hear y'all were able to discuss things calmly and that you're okay with your plans to move forward. I wish you all the best for your future!
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I've been away and wanted to say that I am sooo, sooo sorry you are going through this (((hugs))). I'm so glad he has agreed with all of your conditions, and I really hope counseling will help things. Like everyone else, I am super impressed with the way you are handling this. You are one strong woman!
If you ever want to chat, or just have some girl time or do lunch, please feel free to give me a call.
You are so strong. I'm very proud? of the way you've handled the situation and I think you've given everything the best possible chance for success. I hope you have as much "real life" support as you do from us or at least a few key people that can help you through this. It always helps to talk.