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an irrational thought

goillini823goillini823 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
This is odd, but as much as I can't wait for 2009 to be over, I'm also sad to see it go. i have lots of hopes and dreams for 2010, but I'm also sad to see 2010. I guess I just want to be stuck in 2009 because I did get to carry Gabriel in me this year. I feel like with 2010 coming it's something he wasn't a part of. He was a part of 2009. I'll never forget him, but 2010 symbolizes a new beginning for me, and it makes me sad he's not a part of the new beginning. Does this even make sense? I'm so ready for the end of this year for so many reasons, but I'm also so sad to see it go. I guess it's bittersweet.
Andrea 7/9/08, Joaquin 4/18/11, boy coming 12/18/13 Forever missed: Gabriel 11/24/09 at 20 weeks
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Re: an irrational thought

  • amjraamjra member
    Oh sweetie, it IS bittersweet, just like when I think of my daughters.  I like doing it sometimes and reliving the memories of carrying them - but it always accompanied by the bittersweet sadness of the fact that they are gone.
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  • my1andonlymy1andonly member
    i have been feeling the same way the past 2 days
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  • Amber531Amber531
    (((hugs))) it makes total sense to me.
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  • MommaRed83MommaRed83 member

    I completely understand. We have all had to say goodbye to so much this year. We hang on to everything they ever touched/were a part of, I know that I do.

    For me I fear the beginning of 2010 means the beginning of the end for certain things, and I am absolutely dreading the end of one and the beginning of the other. Bittersweet is an understatement but there is no better word for it. I hope that we all find the strength within to get through this. I will be thinking of each and everyone of you tomorrow and always.

    ::LIFTS GLASS:: To my MC/PL family, may we find whatever it is that we need to feel better, may there be fewer new members to our sorority in 2010 than 2009, and may we all find a sense of peace with all this. 

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  • petrpn1313petrpn1313
    I couldn't agree more.  I'm not looking forward to my bday on the 5th and the thought that comes with this day that I'll never be able to celebrate my baby's bday. 
    For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 Natural MC @ 7wks 6days Missed MC @ 7wks 6days, baby measured 6wks 3days
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  • michroccmichrocc member
    I agree 100% and completely understand.  I'm so looking forward to 2010 and to, hopefully, conceiving a healthy baby.  But I almost feel guilty that 2009 is behind me.  I think that's why I've just been so down all day today. 
    BFP#1 10/19/09, m/c 12/5/09, BFP#2 2/03/12, m/c 2/12/12, BFP#3 3/18/13, LO born 11/22/13

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  • Clerk9Clerk9 member
    imageMommaRed83:

    To my MC/PL family, may we find whatever it is that we need to feel better, may there be fewer new members to our sorority in 2010 than 2009, and may we all find a sense of peace with all this.  

    AMEN.  And well put!

    It's totally NOT an irrational thought!  I think most, if not all, of us are going through very similar feelings.  It really struck me when I saw other ladies say that their LOs will always be "a part of 2009".  Wow.  Mixed emotions, indeed.  

    Best wishes for a warm & healing new year... 

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