Some very important advice — The Bump
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Some very important advice

Please Please Please do this before you end up in my shoes.

1) Make sure any passwords your DH has you know and vice versa. You need to be able to log into key accounts like your bank accounts (especially if they have their own personal account).

2) Make sure you have power of attorney for each of you. I've learned that without it I'm screwed. Thank god I figured out Gary's pin number so I'm able to access his personal account to make sure our bills are paid but still it is SCARY to think that I can actually have NO access to any of his money. Power of attorney would ease that fear.

3) Make sure you have a living will. We've signed one several times thanks to the hospitals he's been in, but it would be easier to pull out a signed one and present it when needed.

4) Make sure you have a regular will too! 

Last but not least

5) Make sure you designate who will get custody of your child if god forbid something happened to the both of you. 

These are all things that are on my to-do list once Gary gets home Smile

Re: Some very important advice

  • That is very good advice, thanks! Let's just hope none of us have to use it and you won't ever need to again!
  • imageMrsVictoriaB:
    That is very good advice, thanks! Let's just hope none of us have to use it and you won't ever need to again!


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  • This advice is something that I have mentioned to my husband in the past and it gets brushed aside more often than not. But you are so correct in reinforcing how important it is even as much as it does not want to be addressed. Thank you!
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  • Thanks for the reminder.  We have all joint accounts so I have all that info.  But we don't have a power of attorney for each other or a will.  It's not something any of us want to think about but it's so important to do.
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  • Thanks for sharing this! This really is important advice. I can't imagine having to figure all this out with all you're going through!

    I've been reading your blog, so glad to hear Gary had a good day today!

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  • i'm glad you posted this, sam... it's never a pleasant conversation, but something we all need to talk to our dh's about.  my power of attorney is signed and notarized (from when i was in the icu) but p doesn't have one.  but as soon as sarah's born, we're writing up wills, pete's getting life insurance done, we'er sitting down with my sister adn bil and asking them to be legal guardians in case of anything, etc...  talk about growing up, huh?  i didn't have to deal wtih this 10 years ago!
  • excellent advice! We have our wills...but we need to get on the same page about paying bills and such
  • Thanks so much for your advice Sam. DH and I have talked about some of those things but never gotten around to do it. Its one of those things that we tend to or want to ignore but are so so important.

     We are praying for you guys and hope that the New Year brings lots of health for your family. 



  • thanks for posting this reality check, Sam. my DH and I have talked about a lot of this but we haven't yet set up our wills, power of atty, or life insurance (something on my list for 2010). We have already asked DH's sister and BIL about being legal guardians and of course they will.

    something else to consider is making sure you write things into the will to specify to your child's legal guardian especially if they don't live nearby. there are a lot of things that you can specify in your will about how your child is "handled" according to my SIL who is an attorney.

    For instance, my SIL & BIL live in NY.  they are also not Jewish and we are. We will be specifying in our will that $$ from our life insurance is to go towards Zachary's religious education and paying for his Bar Mitzvah should something happen before this time in his life. Also, I will be specifying in the will that my family receives equal visitation rights. Not something I'd want to think about, but in case there is some kind of argument, I want to know that Zachary isn't put in the middle, and my parents will be able to spend as much time with him as they desire.

    not fun things to think about, but truly important nonetheless.

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