Parenting after a Loss

Anyone else thinking about another baby?

I find myself thinking about another one, not now, but thinking about how old I want Sara to be when the enxt one arrives etc. I use to always say I would wait 4 years but now I am thinking maybe we will try in early 2011.

My biggest concern is that I can not imagine being able to love something as much as I love Sara, is that stupid??

Re: Anyone else thinking about another baby?

  • I'm already thinking about the next one and being pregnant again :) Towards the end of my pregnancy with Nicholas I SWORE I was never having more kids, but now I'm planning for his little brother or sister already!! And it's totally not stupid to think you couldn't love another child as much as you love your first. I think this too, and I actually had a professor in grad school who talked about how she felt this way and read the book "Koala Lou" to her son every day when she was pregnant with her second child and said that it helped her a lot (it was a children's lit class so the story really fit in!) 
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  • I feel the same way!! 
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  • Totally normal to feel like that. But let me tell you, I love this little girl like I love my first. I had the same thoughts, up until my 7th month is when I started to feel more connected. Then when she was born, that was it. The day she came out I felt like I wanted another one instantly. But with my age, 34, I think this is my last one :(
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  • I am in the same boat as you! I can hardly wait! Although, I am really enjoying sleeping again!! We're going to start trying in the summer/fall of 2010. I feel the same way you do wondering how I will love our 2nd baby as much as I love Kate but I've heard its never an issue. I cant wait to have a whole handful of babes to love!
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  • Totally normal.  I think about it too!
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  • I was thinking about this the other day - I can't even imagine how hard it would be to have a toddler running around and trying to deal with a newborn. I would love to have 1 more, but since I'm already 37 - not sure it will happen. I don't want to have another one for at least another year and a half or 2, so I'm not sure with my fertility issues that it will be possible at that age or if by then I'll want to start all over again.
  • Dh and I were discussing that today. We are waiting until ds is fully potty trained before we ttc again.
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  • I don't think that's stupid at all because its my biggest concern too!  I know, from talking to other parents, and b/c I'm the 3rd child in my family and obviously loved as much as my siblings, that I will love the next child as much as I love DS but its just so hard to really imagine loving someone that I don't even "know" yet as much as I love him. 

    And I used to want to wait 3-4 yrs between kids but now I'm thinking we'll start trying when DS is about 18 mos old.

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