S/O of Teen Mom

haleymay18

If you had to put your baby up for adoption (that would be the hardest thing in the whole world), would you want it to be an open adoption?

My sister and I were discussing this and I don't think I would. I would want to know she is safe and healthy but if my circumstances were demanding in such a way that I couldn't keep my lo than I would need to have that closure and an open adoption would make it too hard for me, I think.

sweetyface77

DH and I talked about it too after seeing the reunion episode of 16 and Pregnant.  I don't think I could do an open adoption either.  It would be to hard to move on and I know I'd be a mess and constantly second guessing myself with my decision.  Not to mention that I think it would be difficult on the adoptive parents as well.

ivs112

sweetyface77:

DH and I talked about it too after seeing the reunion episode of 16 and Pregnant.  I don't think I could do an open adoption either.  It would be to hard to move on and I know I'd be a mess and constantly second guessing myself with my decision.  Not to mention that I think it would be difficult on the adoptive parents as well.

This exactly. I would like my information to be available to my biological child after they're 18 so they can look for me if they choose.

Shlei

Tough question. I am adopted myself and honestly I don't know how much things would have changed had my parents done an open adoption. I think I would go for an open adoption. Reason being? I can't tell you how hard it is to grow up not knowing the little things as well as the big things about your family. People take for granted that they know what their parents look like, what they like, how they are like...it's hard.

jenna0627

I can't even imagine having to deal with any aspect of an adoption. On one hand one of my BF in HS had a younger brother who was adopted. It was an open adoption and turned out wonderful. His biological parents had him in college and knew they couldn't provide for him they way they wanted to. They visit him 4 times a year and the relationship between all of them is amazing. Could I actually do that? Probably not. Then again I can't imagine not knowing anything either.

zoieglow

Yes. DH was adopted through a severely closed adoption. He can't even get medical histories unless he goes to court. As a result, he feels very abandoned and has said on more than one occasion something like 'from the minute I was born, my own parents didn't want me and did everything they could to make sure I'd never know them'. It's a very hard thing for him to deal with. Open adoptions can work and I think they can help a child feel better about their history. I would never do closed adoption.

DoubleDiamond

I think I'd want it to be open. 

jday1229

 

I have a childhood friend who gave her daughter up for adoption at 15. Although it wasn't technically "open" he was able to keep updated on her daughter through correspondence with the adoption agency. The adoptive parents would send notes and photos to the agency and she could request whatever updates they received when she wanted and vice versa. No actual contact is made between the families and their locations are kept undisclosed. At 18 her daughter would have access to her identity.