Maybe my loss was a good thing

PurpleK26

As hard as that is for me to say, I do think God new what he was doing. I am in so much pain. Had I had my first LO, I would have been at this point in the month of June... I shot 5 weddings over 4 weekends in June. They are physically hard enough on me, it would have been putting a huge strain on my LO.

I like to think I would have just been able to get through it, but if I was feeling how I am now, that would not have been possible. The stress of canceling them or finding another photographer for them would have been unbelievable, also, not healthy for LO I'm sure.

I learned my lesson though, as I was at those weddings this summer and really thought about my studio and how it relates to my family plans. No more wedding for me, except for family and friends. I didn't let myself take a single wedding for this summer, so I could BF my little girl... and there's no time to stop and pump! I knew it would either be painful or messy to try to go a whole Sat. without pumping or bfing... I'm not willing to miss anything with this little baby... I want it all... and future babies too...

My loss has made me even more appreciative of this LO, and put the whole job vs. family in perspective for me. Yes, I'll still shoot, but it will be on a schedule that works for my LO, and I'm not going to cave to the pressure to take every session that comes my way. 

ok, revelation over... 

jacse007

I know it is hard anytime to go through a loss. I look back now and realize I would have had my baby the middle of October. Well, we were in the process of moving 5 hours away (completed move over Thanksgiving) and are currently house hunting. I'm sure we will have something by the time this LO arrives, but to go through all this with a newborn would have been insane. I agree with you, it's really good that God knows what he's doing because if it were left up to me, my life would be complete havoc! I enjoy this revelation...keeps me in focus!

kturner61

With our loss, I had spinal fusion surgery in April and was pregnant in June by accident. The meds I was on interfered with my birth control and my body was a mess for the surgery. The doctor was extremely concerned with my health. When I had the miscarriage, I was devestated but God knew what he was doing. With this pregnancy, I feel I am in a much better place physically and emotionally to handle this and enjoy it!!

Jacquiemark

I don?t know if I could ever say my loss was a good thing. I am sure as weeks went on with your pregnancy,  that maybe you would have found alternative photographers for the weddings and/or not taken more clients. I would hope that someone would have helped to relieve the stress and maybe take some of the workload. Taking some time off like you plan on doing I think is a great idea. You don?t want to stretch yourself too thin. People are always going to get married and when you are ready to take on more of a workload, they will be there.

 

If my first pregnancy was successful then everything would have fallen into place perfectly with moving, jobs, insurance, savings, etc. Now, things have changed and it is going to be a hot mess. We still plan on moving out of state which will be 6 months after the baby is born, find jobs before then, and hopefully buy a house. It will be crazy, but I have faith that everything will work out especially when I know that loved ones will be there for us if needed.

 

kellieok

I feel the same way. If I didn't miscarry then I would not have been able to take my job. I had to go for out of state training for 8 weeks from July-September. That LO was supposed to be born in June. So I think everything happens for a reason but it still doesn't take the pain away and the anxiety you feel with future pgs.

OregonMama

I can't feel that my loss was a good thing.  Yes, things would have been harder if the baby was born in October (my first EDD) than in late May.  We would've gotten married while I was pregnant and not been able to enjoy a honeymoon in Vegas.  I would have had a harder time taking time off during the slow season for DH's work.  I could go on and on and on with reasons that it will be easier to have this baby in May.

But I don't look at it like that.  I remember people saying "God knows what he is doing" and "maybe it's a good thing" and wanting to smack them because they didn't know.  I still feel that way.  It's a horrible, heartbreaking loss that happened and I would much rather be holding my LO now than go through that pain.

jacse007

I guess I don't feel like it's a "good thing" really, but I believe it happened for a reason. Don't flame...because I was on the front line to slap someone when they told me "it happened for a reason!" And I still want to slap people who tell me that and have not felt my pain. I believe the whole situation has made me stronger and much more grateful and appreciative of this pregnancy. I still ask "why?" but not as bitterly as I did when it first happened.

projectkjetil

I was so angry about my first loss that I would have throatpunched anyone who suggested it was a good thing.  In retrospect, I can see that THIS is the pregnancy I was meant to have, but I'm the only one who's allowed to say so, know what I mean? 

Sounds like you've made some very smart plans for your upcoming summer, and I hope that everything works out beautifully.