PSA: Please comfort your babies when they cry!

alibabbbs

Harvard studies are showing that CIO is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

Flame if you feel that you really need to, but as a pediatric psychologist, I feel responsible for sharing this information.

robbie3982

The link doesn't work.

Angelcake

alibabbbs:

Harvard studies are showing that CIO is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

Flame if you feel that you really need to, but as a pediatric psychologist, I feel responsible for sharing this information.

Thank you!

I 100% agree with you! 

alibabbbs

robbie3982:

The link doesn't work.

I fixed it.

evhamm

ITA with this post. CIO only creates anxiety and my dr said it promotes cortisol issues/stress & overeating/overweight adults.

Jacques715

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

jen-and-ryon

MrsPreK

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

stever

water-fairy

ITA. And it totally frustrates me to hear my baby cry, I'm just emotionally not strong enough to ignore him even if I wanted to.

alibabbbs

evhamm:

ITA with this post. CIO only creates anxiety and my dr said it promotes cortisol issues/stress & overeating/overweight adults.

exactly! you have yourself a knowledgeable pediatrician.

alibabbbs

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Okay, except some parenting styles are directly leading to mental health issues in adulthood.

rei511

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!  My H and I have been hashing it out over this. Finally I have something to back me up!

jen-and-ryon

water-fairy:

ITA. And it totally frustrates me to hear my baby cry, I'm just emotionally not strong enough to ignore him even if I wanted to.

This

Jacques715

alibabbbs:

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Okay, except some parenting styles are directly leading to mental health issues in adulthood.

It is only one study.

Juleslovescats

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I agree with you. I don't 100% agree with this article however.

I don't think CIO at the appropriate age will deravel all the parenting and love a child gets from his/her parents. This, of course, is my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree.

Jacques715

Juleslovescats:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I agree with you. I don't 100% agree with this article however.

I don't think CIO at the appropriate age will deravel all the parenting and love a child gets from his/her parents. This, of course, is my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree.

Right! My parent's CIO with me and I turned out just fine.  To each their own.

Jacques715

I might also mention that the study is over 10 years old.

sweetyface77

water-fairy:

ITA. And it totally frustrates me to hear my baby cry, I'm just emotionally not strong enough to ignore him even if I wanted to.

This!

rosesandpeonies

I agree with the no crying it out and I am following the No cry sleep solution.  However, I would never judge parents that have to use it (at the right age of course) because their child is not sleeping at all and they are at their wits end. 

robbie3982

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I get way more sleep having DS in bed with me than I would with him in his crib in his own room.

Juleslovescats

Jacques715:

Juleslovescats:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I agree with you. I don't 100% agree with this article however.

I don't think CIO at the appropriate age will deravel all the parenting and love a child gets from his/her parents. This, of course, is my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree.

Right! My parent's CIO with me and I turned out just fine.  To each their own.

It's funny, my mom NEVER let me cry and I have issues with self esteem and depression my whole life so it goes both ways. I turned out fine otherwise (I think!). Anyway, as a general rule, I think people should respect other people's ways of parenting. We are all good parents on this board (or we wouldn't be posting about our babies-we wouldn't give a sh*t) for the most part. This issue is to 3-6 as lunch meat is to 1st Tri.

katie2shoes

I haven't actually decided where I stand on CIO ...

With that said ... I would like to see the empirical evidence to support this claim.  Did they do a widespread study?  Have they followed people from infancy to adulthood to see if those that cio had more emotional disorders than those that didn't?

I feel like there have been studies that support both sides and I'm so confused I don't know what to do. 

Chrysallys

robbie3982:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I get way more sleep having DS in bed with me than I would with him in his crib in his own room.

As do I.

Shlei

For me, I don't do CIO. This is my choice and I stand by it.  I tend to her and she is quite the happy girl. She sleeps in our room and her room as well. If she is happy in her own crib and sleeping well I keep her there. If she is having a rough teething night or just a rough night I bring her into our room. That's my style and I really don't give a sh*t what anyone thinks. As long as kids are happy and healthy than I am happy for them. As long as the parents are happy as well then I am happy for them too. What works for one child may not work for another child. Spanking worked for my brother but it didn't do anything for me. Studying with music blaring and the tv on does wonders for me but for others they need complete silence. To each their own.

AppleMomma

Jacques715:

I don't think CIO at the appropriate age will deravel all the parenting and love a child gets from his/her parents. This, of course, is my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree.

I agree with this. Right now when our LOs cannot convey in words why they are crying, don't let them CIO. Even when they can tell us better to find out than let them cry. 

chasbride07

I thought I would never let my child CIO but when DS#1 was 9 months would go to sleep easily only to wake up an hour later and have to be nursed to sleep and would continue the pattern for 3 or 4 hours every night, I read HSHHC and it worked wonderfully for us.  He is now almost 2 - he goes to sleep very easily and is a very happy healthy little boy. 

I have no idea if I will use the same method for DS#2 and would love to not have to but at some point everyone needs to sleep.

ashy22lou

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

 

this.

jhelly77

Do you have a link to the actual study?  Hard to take this as the final word without actually analyzing the study and its methods.

amber_tynan

margeincharge2

Chrysallys:

robbie3982:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I get way more sleep having DS in bed with me than I would with him in his crib in his own room.

As do I.

Add me to the cosleeping bandwagon! I am so well rested and I believe cosleeping helps with that.

margeincharge2

Chrysallys:

robbie3982:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I get way more sleep having DS in bed with me than I would with him in his crib in his own room.

As do I.

Add me to the cosleeping bandwagon! I am so well rested and I believe cosleeping helps with that.

CalinsBride

margeincharge2:

Chrysallys:

robbie3982:

Jacques715:

I understand the arguement but what about the stress of a baby that has to deal with a mom who is not respinding properly to her baby due to lack of sleep.  I have to tell you by the 3rd time my DD gets up in a 4 hour period during the middle of the night, I am not the same nurturing and understanding mommy I am the first few times.  Lack of sleep starts to get to me, which makes me irritable and moody.  Just saying, there are arguments for both sides.

I get way more sleep having DS in bed with me than I would with him in his crib in his own room.

As do I.

Add me to the cosleeping bandwagon! I am so well rested and I believe cosleeping helps with that.

Ditto and word!

sam19

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Apparently my child is going to be a serial killer because I have to let her cry sometimes while I tend my brother. sorry but it is not possible for me to pick up my child whenever she cries or even to get to her quickly when she starts crying.

skylooo

katie2shoes:

I haven't actually decided where I stand on CIO ...

With that said ... I would like to see the empirical evidence to support this claim.  Did they do a widespread study?  Have they followed people from infancy to adulthood to see if those that cio had more emotional disorders than those that didn't?

I feel like there have been studies that support both sides and I'm so confused I don't know what to do. 

 

All the studies are biased and are written by people trying to prove a point, many of them to somehow generate income for themselves.  All the sleep training books are written for primarily one purpose... so the author can make money.   You have to do what you have to do as a mother.  You do what feels right and what works and CIO or co-sleeping will make ZERO difference in your child if you love him/her.

robbie3982

skylooo:

katie2shoes:

I haven't actually decided where I stand on CIO ...

With that said ... I would like to see the empirical evidence to support this claim.  Did they do a widespread study?  Have they followed people from infancy to adulthood to see if those that cio had more emotional disorders than those that didn't?

I feel like there have been studies that support both sides and I'm so confused I don't know what to do. 

 

All the studies are biased and are written by people trying to prove a point, many of them to somehow generate income for themselves.  All the sleep training books are written for primarily one purpose... so the author can make money.   You have to do what you have to do as a mother.  You do what feels right and what works and CIO or co-sleeping will make ZERO difference in your child if you love him/her.

While I agree that everyone needs to make their own decisions about how to parent, the bolded part is just flat out wrong.  Every single decision we make as parents affects how our children turn out.  Not every decision we make will have huge consequences, but there WILL be some type of consequence.  Our kids might be genetically predestined for some personality traits, but a lot of their personality will be created by how we raise them.

minipyro

AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

BlairWaldorf

lol, but what do you do when your kid screams louder when you pick them up?

MrsPreK

alibabbbs:

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Okay, except some parenting styles are directly leading to mental health issues in adulthood.

So, it is your job to let others know what parenting style to use in order to not subject their LO's to mental health issues in adulthood? 

Get over yourself. 

MrsPreK

sam19:

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Apparently my child is going to be a serial killer because I have to let her cry sometimes while I tend my brother. sorry but it is not possible for me to pick up my child whenever she cries or even to get to her quickly when she starts crying.

Exactly. LOL.

 

robbie3982

MrsPreK:

alibabbbs:

MrsPreK:

Oh, good God. Give it a rest. Everyone parent's differently. Too each their own.

Okay, except some parenting styles are directly leading to mental health issues in adulthood.

So, it is your job to let others know what parenting style to use in order to not subject their LO's to mental health issues in adulthood? 

Get over yourself. 

Since she said she's a pediatric psychologist, I'm going to go with yes, it is her job.  LOL

Anyway, this article appears to be at least 2 years old.  I googled and found people posting about it on blogs in 2007.