So..... my exMIL stopped by (very long)
fauxshelley
member
She held Jackson in her arms and talked really sweet to him and we visited for a minute. It was kinda awkward. She didn't bring Jack a Christmas gift, but she did give me four page letter. She asked me to go ahead and read it. So I did. It started off about how I should move on with my life, how she knows I am trying to ruin Joshua's life, how I am very bitter toward Joshua because he has moved on, how she knows that I lied when I told her that Joshua wanted me to have an abortion because he would never do that, how she doesn't think I ever loved him, I threaten him, I try to keep Pumpkin from him, I am not only hurting Joshua but also his entire family, on and on and on, so much more but I won't bore you with any more BS.
I was boiling. I thought about snatching my baby from her hands and kicking her out of my house but I bit my tongue and said, do you want to talk about this? She said yes, and I started off with the abortion thing. I said, "I haven't mentioned it to you in a long time, because I know that you will believe what ever you want, but he badgered me day and night to have an abortion. When I found out about J's chromosomal issues, I considered it, bc the first dr told me he would probably die, then another dr told me he would have lots of medical issues, and finally they said they just don't know what the outcome would be. That was not enough information for me to make a decision like that. I told Joshua once again that I would not terminate the pregnancy and he left for good. I seriously don't understand how you don't believe me considering he wants nothing to do with his son."
She went on to say that she knows that I have had the police come out to his work to talk to him. I told her the police came to my house looking for him bc a creditor wanted to serve him. Pumpkin saw the entire thing. I told them where he lives and where he works, because the officer ASKED ME. I am not going to lie to a police officer to protect him. She said she wasn't talking about that, she was talking about how I called the police and told them that Josh threatened Jackson and me, and they went to his work to talk to him about it. WHAT?? I told her that NEVER HAPPENED. That is a complete and total lie. I told her that Josh has said many mean and horrible things about Jackson, but he has never threatened to kill him. I told her if that did happen that Joshua would have been arrested, not talked to. I told her that I would be happy to call Josh right in front of her and talk to him about it. She said no, she didn't want me to bother him.
I told her that she is right that I am bitter toward Joshua, but it is bc of the way he treats his son. I told her that Josh has had nothing to do with him, didn't come to the hospital when he was born, didn't give him a Christmas present, he hasn't paid any child support, not even bought one damn diaper for his son. I told her it is not Jackson's fault. J deserves to have his father in his life. I actually had hope for Joshua before Jackson was born, not for US, but hope that he would be a good father to Jackson. I thought once he saw Jack that he would have a change of heart and do the right thing. He proved me wrong.
I told her I don't threaten him except to say that we will be going back to court for child support. I told her he should take care of his son, and he should see him. I told her that I will have the visitation modified to say that he will see both children or neither one of them. She nodded like she thought that was a good idea.
She said that I keep Punk from Joshua she knows I didn't let Joshua have Pumpkin on his birthday. I told her that she was right that I didn't let him have her on his birthday, but that was because he stood her up the weekend before - didn't show up to pick her up, and didn't call or text. He completely stood her up, so I didn't feel so inclined to let him have her on his bday a few days later. I also told her that this week was Joshua's week to have her, and he knows it, bc we talked about it. He should have her from Christmas Day to New Year's Day, but he brought her home 6 hours after he picked her up. I don't know why, I didn't ask, and I didn't care. I wanted her home so it was fine with me. If he wanted to see her, he could have her this whole week.
God I am sick of talking about this, so I'll just cut to the chase. We kinda left it open, she didn't say she wanted to see Jack again, I didn't ask her. Who knows what she thinks because Joshua has told her a bunch of lies, and honestly I don't give a crap. She will never believe me over her son and I wouldn't expect her to. I am not going to mention to Joshua that his mom stopped by. I don't expect that she will either. Whatever. It is what it is.
Re: So..... my exMIL stopped by (very long)
Sounds to me like your MIL is as sick as Josh is and you should communicate as little as possible with both of them. Of course she will believe her son's story over yours. Look at Josh's behavior and think about who's mostly responsible for it? His mother!!! We are mostly the product of how our parents raised us, so there you go. You won't change him or his mother so try to move on and be happy with just your 2 children. But definitely try to get as much child support as you can from him. It's sad that your kids have to deal with all this but in the end you have to do what's right for your family. I hope that helped and good luck!
Wow. Just... wow.
He sounds so screwed up that even a normal, healthy mother wouldn't know what to believe, and she's just not trying hard enough. I guess she's trying to clear the air, but man.
I am sorry you're going through this, Shelley.
Not new, but he is very convincing.
My X was too. Scarily so.
Hope ex MIL realizes he's going to do the same to her some day! Or maybe she wont realize it till he neglects her when she's old and needs help.
So sorry you are going thru this! I cant believe the lies he's telling to cover up his absolute loserness.
It must be so hard to know you are right and to be unable to convince her of it.
{{hugs}}
wow, they're both nuts. i'm so sorry you're going through this Shelley.
I'm with Carla. It's beyond comprehension. And you are a strong woman for staying calm after reading that letter.
I'm terribly sorry that you and your children are going through this. I'm particularly sad for Pumpkin... she is a beautiful young lady who is seeing that her father and father's family is not who she thought they were. My heart aches for her. Jackson will be fine. He has YOU. And you'll only have people in his life who love him, too. Of course one day he'll wonder about his father, but I know you'll shower him with so much love that he'll be able to overcome that hurdle when it arises.
Shelley, I just hope that you get that scum DB to pay child support for both children and have minimal contact with him after that. I know it won't be that simple, unfortunately, but pray it gets easier.
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WOW. That is nuts- to 1) show up with a four page letter, and 2) to defend him! So sorry that you are going through this. But maybe it is better to deal with it now, get child support set up, and be done with the whole thing. How does Pumpkin deal with Joshua? Was she really upset when he was a no-show, or is this a regular thing?
(and sorry if I am asking about things that you have already written about- haven't been on in a while and am just trying to catch up...)
((hug))
Pumpkin loves her father, but she doesn't know when he stands her up, bc I don't tell her. If she asks when she will see him I tell her that such and such weekend was his visitation, but he didn't show up. She doesn't really mention it anymore. She sees him probably once a month and he lives ten minutes away and only works about two days a week (24 on 48 off).
Sorry I'm late on this, but this exactly. Your ex-MIL was right about one thing -- it sounds like you should move on from ALL of them. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't see how DB thinks he is going to get away without paying child support though. What planet is he living on?