Holidays can be so hard, especially when anxious or depressed. I am hanging in there considering the extremely scary news we got on the 23rd. State blood screenings have indicated my son has a higher level than normal on one test that could indicate he has cystic fibrosis. So now we are waiting on genetic tests and also on Monday for when my OB reopens - I think I had a CF screening to check if I am a carrier. If I am not, there is no way Callum is sick but it's killing me to wait all weekend. Having my family hug me and tell me to "hang in there" did not help. I wanted to scream "Its not just that damnit! My son could be sick and he has a mother who is so anxious and depressed than the news almost crumbled her into a quavering heap of tears." I told my husband that all I want for Christmas is the test to come back with my baby being healthy. I am hoping and praying for that one Christmas miracle. This is not helping my PPD at all. I think I am going to go to counseling as well as the medications I take now. I am starting to wonder how much more I can take!