I would leave custody to either my mom or my sister. Prob my mom b/c if my DH and i were both to pass... then she would get my life insurance. I would def name someone... i wouldnt want my kids to have to go thru th ecourt system if it werent necc
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We still need to write up our wills, but I've made it absolutely clear to my family that if something were to happen, I would want my sister to have custody of our kid/s. I'm sure if something happened, though, my IL's would fight tooth and nail to take the kid/s, so a legal will is definitely in order!
We've named DH's brother and/or my cousin. We wanted to keep the guardianship to close family who we have a close connection with.
I'm not sure how it works in the States, but in Canada the courts will evaluate the individuals that you have named and just because you've named someone doesn't mean that's who your kids will go to if something hpapens to you. The courts will make a judgment call based on who is best fit at the time (finances, mental stability, etc.)
Our parents are older. We have custody given to my brother and his wife. If they are unable then it goes to my sister. My SIL is in a different state. I want my kids to stay close to the rest of the family.
We will be updating our will for this purpose. We are leaving custody to either MIL or SIL. I think that I would prefer SIL because she is very similar to both DH and me. She isn't married so we may change it depending on who she marries, not that we expect her to choose a jerk, but as he would be playing daddy we want to make sure it is something he would want to do.
My parents always had it set up that legally us kids would go to one of her siblings but it would be up to them to decide who would be best at the given time, since situations change.
I am thinking we would give custody to my sister or my mother because my brother is too young and we don't really trust my husband's family all that much. I guess we should make it offical though that our baby will go to someone on my familys side.
DH and I will be doing our will soon and that is one thing that we have discussed...and are still discussing. We are going to name specific people...still discussing who....it is really tough.
We are currently leaning more toward his sister and her husband...they have 2 children and stable good paying jobs. However- we both have life insurance policys so the child will be taken care of financially regardless of who has custody. We do feel that they are responsible though and would hdo a good job of budgeting the life insurance money so that our LO would have everything that he/she needs and woul not blow it on a bunch of expensive items....
We are still considering my Mother and my sister and her husband as well...but I really think we will end up going with his sister.
God forbid anything happens to us, my mom and dad will gain custody of my children. They financially able to take care of my children and my mom would raise them with the morals and values that I would want instilled in my kids.
we actually picked our best friends--it is a couple who I am best friends w/ the wife and my DH is best friends w/ the husband. DH and the husband grew up together, were home schooled together and both of their families are incredibly close and do almost all holidays together so I know our LO would definitely still have a connection w/ family even though the guardians arent technically related and i trust that these friends would also make a huge effort to involve my family (as much as I do now)...when deciding this we realized that this couple really know us as people the best they know our likes and dislikes, we all strongly believe the same thing and I think having my child raised by them would be the closest we could get to being similar w/ how we plan on being as parents. This couple is also pregnant (the wife is due 4 days after me) and as far as I know they plan on naming us as guardians for their LO for the same reasons
My immediate thought went to my sister. Or my husband's second oldest sister. My sister because we're just alike in morals, personality, etc. so I know my kid would have a similar childhood as to one I myself would have given her. And my second oldest SIL because she too shares our moral background as well and also has the money to raise another kid, on top of the three she has of her own. My oldest SIL is great, but she's a yeller, which I'm not, and they definitely don't have the money to support another baby. My dad has stage 4 colon cancer, so he's obviously out, my mother passed away just over a year ago, and my ILs are getting up there in age....
Yes - our will specifically states my parents would become our children's guardians. My ILs would assume they were and we do not want them raising our kids, so we have a legal document to avoid any custody issues.
We chose my sister as our primary guardian and then if she couldn't for some reason, the back up would be DH's sister.
We chose our sisters b/c A)they are the most capable - our parents are both in their 70s and B)we wanted family.
You will need designate who the beneficiaries are on your life insurance policy, 401k, IRA, etc. as that will determine who the money goes to, not your will. At least in Ohio that's how it is....
We have asked DH's brother to be the guardian and my brother to be a co-trustee. My bro is just a little to young should something happen sooner but I really want to be sure that the insurance money (its pretty significant) is handled properly so BIL can't spend the money unless my bro signs off on it. I did that just to be sure that my values are thought about when the money is being spent and that the money I intend to care for my kids and provide for their education doesn't become his new pool or something. Not that I think he would be irresponsible (I wouldn't pick him otherwise) but its easy to come into $ and think we can have this now and payback later.
DH has another brother if looking at us you would assume we would pick (is older and already has 2 kids) but we can't stand. I would lose it if he got my kids.
For right now, my parents....for guardian, trustee for the money and power of attorney for us. Because they could financially raise our kids and have great sense about money and DS knows them the best. As they get older and less able to handle little kids, we will have to change who has custody etc....
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It is very clearly stated in my and DH's wills that if something were to happen to both of us that my parents are to raise our children. I would not want something as important as my children's upbringing to be left up to the court system. I know they would be awarded to someone in our families, but I'm not satisfied with that and wouldn't want our families fighting over the kids. We decided together that our children would get the best upbringing from my parents. They are the youngest, in their early 40's, and out of all of our parents (his are divorced and remarried, so he has 2 sets) our parents share our values and parenting style the most. My dad has been commissioned in the army for about 25 years and my family travels with my father a lot, so they would also get to travel and be exposed to many more cultures and life experiences. Those are some of the reasons behind our decision. I hope that my parents are never put in that situation, but know that they would give my kids every opportunity in the world and more love than I could imagine. Heck, my mom would take them as her own now if I'd let her. She loves being with them.
Re: In your will (if you have one)
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We've named DH's brother and/or my cousin. We wanted to keep the guardianship to close family who we have a close connection with.
I'm not sure how it works in the States, but in Canada the courts will evaluate the individuals that you have named and just because you've named someone doesn't mean that's who your kids will go to if something hpapens to you. The courts will make a judgment call based on who is best fit at the time (finances, mental stability, etc.)
My parents always had it set up that legally us kids would go to one of her siblings but it would be up to them to decide who would be best at the given time, since situations change.
I am thinking we would give custody to my sister or my mother because my brother is too young and we don't really trust my husband's family all that much. I guess we should make it offical though that our baby will go to someone on my familys side.
DH and I will be doing our will soon and that is one thing that we have discussed...and are still discussing. We are going to name specific people...still discussing who....it is really tough.
We are currently leaning more toward his sister and her husband...they have 2 children and stable good paying jobs. However- we both have life insurance policys so the child will be taken care of financially regardless of who has custody. We do feel that they are responsible though and would hdo a good job of budgeting the life insurance money so that our LO would have everything that he/she needs and woul not blow it on a bunch of expensive items....
We are still considering my Mother and my sister and her husband as well...but I really think we will end up going with his sister.
GL...it is a tough thing to even consider.
We chose my sister as our primary guardian and then if she couldn't for some reason, the back up would be DH's sister.
We chose our sisters b/c A)they are the most capable - our parents are both in their 70s and B)we wanted family.
You will need designate who the beneficiaries are on your life insurance policy, 401k, IRA, etc. as that will determine who the money goes to, not your will. At least in Ohio that's how it is....
We have asked DH's brother to be the guardian and my brother to be a co-trustee. My bro is just a little to young should something happen sooner but I really want to be sure that the insurance money (its pretty significant) is handled properly so BIL can't spend the money unless my bro signs off on it. I did that just to be sure that my values are thought about when the money is being spent and that the money I intend to care for my kids and provide for their education doesn't become his new pool or something. Not that I think he would be irresponsible (I wouldn't pick him otherwise) but its easy to come into $ and think we can have this now and payback later.
DH has another brother if looking at us you would assume we would pick (is older and already has 2 kids) but we can't stand. I would lose it if he got my kids.