Hi all,
I haven't posted in eons.. so long, in fact, that i forgot my old login name.. I was feeling the need to reach out again and started looking over the list of boards.. so many. I wasn't sure where to post.. so I figured that one thing I do know is that we fall into the LGBT parenting category.. so here I am!
Three years ago today.. my pregnancy tanked. Everything had been great to that point. Well.. sort of. If you write off 4 years of infertility treatments and some glitches like hypertension and gestational diabetes.. everything rocked. Anyway.. BP shot up like a rocket and luckily I was relatively far along (34 wks)..
My Benji's 3rd birthday is this Saturday. I don't know where the time has gone. Quite literally. I don't remember most of it.
Going into parenthood.. I had wanted this with every ounce of my soul.. every second of every day was spend pleading with any higher power that would listen to me. everything would be ok if i could just be a mom.
Well.. not surprisingly, things don't exactly fall into place like that. Benji was born early.. but did amazingly well and only stayed a short stint in the NICU. He was out of the hospital and boom.. i was back in.. with post partum depression.. had to be actually hospitalized in a locked inpatient program for a week after almost running my car into a tree.. then did another month in a partial-hospitalization program (it was like day camp).
then of course.. there were the unexplained seizures that started when Benji was just over a year old.. lots of trips to the ER in the middle of the night. then ear problems.. two sets of ear tubes have been inserted and have fallen out so far.. he's hearing impaired and his speech is delayed because of that. even with all of that.. he's perfect. he's my dream. i spend every day terrified..
my health is no better.. diabetes stuck around.. migraines started.. i've been on every medication available for depression and for the migraines and i think my brain is just backfiring now.
the thing that hurts the most.. i can't remember some things. i can't remember Benji being in his infant "bucket" carseat. I have his brand new booster "big boy" seat in the back of the van waiting to be installed.. but i'm afraid to make changes because he's growing up so quickly and i don't trust my memory. i take pictures constantly.
i have a migraine today.. and i guess i'm overwhelmed. i don't mean to complain.. i have a beautiful baby boy. ok.. so he's a toddler. ok.. so he's really a pre-schooler. he's still perfect. i noticed the other day when he climbed in bed with me and my wife that when he tossed and turned.. it felt the same as when he used to kick me in my belly.. he moves the same. granted.. he's louder now!
hope everyone is well..
Re: What board to post in... anniversary of sorts
Welcome. You've surely had a lot going on these past few years. My best wishes for a very happy birthday for your little one.