No way in helll. Even though we found out before both of our children were born, I was totally surprised and thrilled! I am a planner, but that is a little extreme, IMO.
I think that some people who choose to do this have a strong attachment to one particular gender and are setting themselves up for disappointment--it's not healthy to obsess over what it'd be like to specifically have a baby boy or baby girl to the point where you'd be upset if the child didn't meet those expectations.
I think that some people who choose to do this have a strong attachment to one particular gender and are setting themselves up for disappointment--it's not healthy to obsess over what it'd be like to specifically have a baby boy or baby girl to the point where you'd be upset if the child didn't meet those expectations.
Agreed. I have friends that have broadcast it far and wide that they will be devastated if they don't have a boy. I feel bad for their future child if it turns out to be a girl because everyone will likely remember them saying how devastated they would be to have her. It makes me cringe every time they bring it up.
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
Contemplating the snow.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
My cousin had pretty much the exact same experience with her first baby 5 years ago, and I think it helped me realize that it wouldn't matter whether I had a boy or a girl, I would be head over heals in love with him/her no matter what. Besides, there are so many people who try for so long to have a baby, who don't care if they have a boy or girl - who am I to say I "don't want" one or the other? I'm so thankful every day to have a beautiful, healthy son - and I'd feel the same way if he were a girl.
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
We were the same - really wanted a girl but so incredibly happy we were given the most amazing little boy.
However, further down the road, I wouldn't rule it out. I want three kids, and if the next one is also a boy, I'd be open to doing something to make sure we are able to have a girl too. It's not that I wouldn't be absolutely happy with a boy, it's just that I also want a girl at some point (it would be the same if we'd had two girls - then I'd want the last one to be a boy). DH & I have discussed adopting a girl from China if we don't make one of our own, so it doesn't necessarily have to be via IVF.
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
Well said. I believe you will be given the child you were meant to have.
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
Well said. I believe you will be given the child you were meant to have.
This exactly. Genetic defects and such aside, I disagree with picking a gender just for the sake of having a "balanced family."
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It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
Re: Would you choose your child's gender? Clicky poll
I think that some people who choose to do this have a strong attachment to one particular gender and are setting themselves up for disappointment--it's not healthy to obsess over what it'd be like to specifically have a baby boy or baby girl to the point where you'd be upset if the child didn't meet those expectations.
Agreed. I have friends that have broadcast it far and wide that they will be devastated if they don't have a boy. I feel bad for their future child if it turns out to be a girl because everyone will likely remember them saying how devastated they would be to have her. It makes me cringe every time they bring it up.
It's funny, before I had DS I would have chosen "yes" without a second thought. We both wanted a girl, no questions. To the point where I had a difficult couple of days after we found out he was a boy. Now, I can't imagine having a girl. I adore my son, everything about him. The thought that I, theoretically, could have "made" him a girl makes me cringe. Not that we'd have loved a daughter less, but because of what I wouldn't have had we gone that route (had it been available.) And I know DH feels the same way too. I guess it just goes to show that fate deals you what you're supposed to have in life, not what you think you want.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
My cousin had pretty much the exact same experience with her first baby 5 years ago, and I think it helped me realize that it wouldn't matter whether I had a boy or a girl, I would be head over heals in love with him/her no matter what. Besides, there are so many people who try for so long to have a baby, who don't care if they have a boy or girl - who am I to say I "don't want" one or the other? I'm so thankful every day to have a beautiful, healthy son - and I'd feel the same way if he were a girl.
It depends on....
Genetic factors/risks that are only issues with one sex or the other.(examples are escaping me now... it's late).
We were the same - really wanted a girl but so incredibly happy we were given the most amazing little boy.
However, further down the road, I wouldn't rule it out. I want three kids, and if the next one is also a boy, I'd be open to doing something to make sure we are able to have a girl too. It's not that I wouldn't be absolutely happy with a boy, it's just that I also want a girl at some point (it would be the same if we'd had two girls - then I'd want the last one to be a boy). DH & I have discussed adopting a girl from China if we don't make one of our own, so it doesn't necessarily have to be via IVF.
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Well said. I believe you will be given the child you were meant to have.
This exactly. Genetic defects and such aside, I disagree with picking a gender just for the sake of having a "balanced family."