Babies: 3 - 6 Months

XP: WWYD?

My DH is a computer guy.  Like many computer guys, he gets asked for computer help all.the.time.  He hates it.  He gets a call from some friend or relative probably close to once a week.  He helps out family.... sometimes reluctantly.... with their issues.Well, our neighbor is probably mid to upper 60s.  Nice lady, widow, speaks heavily accented english (this is relevent, I promise).  We wave and say hi, but don't know each other real well.  I've taken in her mail once and we shovel her driveway when it's been a really heavy snow, but that's about the extent of our relationship.DH got home early today and she must have seen him come in.  She rang our doorbell and asked for DH.  She asked for help with her virus program. DH truly does hate McAfee, and doesn't know much about it.... although if he looked at it, I'm sure he could probably figure it out.  Well, he very gently put her off. saying he didn't know much about it, it would probably bebest to just call them,etc, etc.  She made comments about not wanting to call them and get charged $3 per minute since she can't understand them, etc.,etc.  She finally left and I know she was sad/mad that he wouldn't help. After she left, he grumbled a bunch about not being free tech support and how it would "open a can of worms".  I feel bad, but can understand where DH was coming from.... she truly would be over here all the time asking for help every time she f-ed up her computer.  But... it's Christmas, and I feel like we should be good neighbors and all of that.What would you have done?
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Re: XP: WWYD?

  • if i new what the problem was and it was simple i would have done it

    but he is right hes not free tech support

  • I think that I may have tried helping but can totally see where he is coming from because its true.  Once he starts, he won't ever be expected to stop.

    Maybe you can just make her some holiday cookies or something to keep a friendly relationship going

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  • My husband is a software engineer and my brother does both software/hardware.  My brother actually used to volunteer helping older people with their computers around the community, as well as, many many other people in the town.  My husband also helps but he gets mostly phone calls on what to do from family.  I think that maybe your husband was probably caught off guard and maybe he could have said that today wasn't a good day and maybe we could set something up for another day (to show that he isn't always at everyone's beck and call)  However, if he didn't want to do it...then he didn't want to do it...I am sure that he is a busy guy and sometimes you don't always have to go out of your way. He is right....it does open a can of worms.
    DD (8/12/09), DD (2/8/11)
    BFP 12/16/14| EDD 8/19/15 |MMC 1/15/15 (9 weeks 1 day)
  • imagemavilabride:

    I think that I may have tried helping but can totally see where he is coming from because its true.  Once he starts, he won't ever be expected to stop.

    Maybe you can just make her some holiday cookies or something to keep a friendly relationship going

    I like this.

  • My DH is a computer guy as well. I know first hand how time consuming fixing/cleaning-up computers can be.

    I would have sent DH to fix the problem. Sounds like it's probably an easy fix. I'm a pushover though.

    My DH has started charging people to fix their computers (not family). Brings in a little extra cash each month. 


  • DH is a computer programmer and he gets the same thing all the time.

    Honestly, I would have done what you did.  Because a) it's not a simple problem that can be quickly/easily solved, and b) she really will be over every single time something went wrong.  And pardon my stereo-typing, but if she's an older woman, this could be a lot!

  • The poor guy had just gotten home from work, i think its ok to not be available to help everyone all the time. It might also just be something that comes with the territory like doctors, nurses, chefs ect. You could always call later and say he had a moment to spare and could help her if he felt bad.
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