Just got in a HUGE fight with DH!

kertybird

I can't even believe that it happened!  I own a very successful insurance business for the last 6 years.  I have a B.A. in Communications, that I finished in 3 years. So I don't have any formal business training, and not a whole lot of schooling but seem to be doing just fine without it.  Now that my business is growing so fast,I was thinking of getting my MBA.  I would love to have some serious management training.  I have casually looked the last couple days at a few programs and thought what the hell, might as well add Harvard to the list.  Well, I just got off the phone with DH and told him my brilliant idea about starting an MBA program and moving east...and he FREAKED out!  I already knew we would be against it, and told him I know he will think I am crazy, but NEVER in a million years thought it would turn into a huge deal.  My chances of getting in are so insanely slim and  I thought he would love to take 2 years off of work and live off my residuals and stay home with the kids and move to Boston.  He is home with them 4 days a week and is exhausted watching them all day and working all night.  Note to self...after 10 years I should know better to EVER suggest moving to a non-surf state to my DH! I am an IDIOT!

goodheartedmommy

Wow, sorry. Was this totally out of the blue? It was probably just a shock to him. Give him some time, and I bet he'll come around. Getting an MBA sounds like a fantastic opportunity for you guys as a family. Would it give him the chance to stay home in the future?

aprilmomtobe

I would be pretty upset if DH just dropped an idea on me out of the blue like that (cross country move).  But, I'm very tied to this area, so couldn't imagine moving. Maybe your situation is different. Like ghm said, he's probably just shocked.

littlemermaid

If my husband out of the blue sprung that on me I'd freak out too.  Uprooting your family is not a subject that is only decided by one person in the family unit.  It needs to be a mutual agreement.  His life is affected by this situation and his feelings and wants need to considered as well.

wellfleet04

You can surf in New England.  Granted it is not amazing, and you have to travel from Boston to Cape Cod or Maine, but you can do it. 

I think he was probably just surprised.  I wouldn't worry about it too much until you get in.  Then you can have a serious discussion.  No sense freaking out about it before it is a real possibility.  

My DH went to HBS and it is a great school (obviously) with a lot of opportunities once you graduate, so I think you should apply and then if you get in you guys can figure it out.

stcroixbride

he probably was a bit shocked if you'd never even mentionned any of this before.  It was an overreaction if you told him that it was just a pipe dream/hypothetical.  An MBA would likely be a good thing for you to have at some point.

On that note, though, my DH has been in school PT for almost 10 years while working FT.  This is a MAJOR reason we have not added another child - he's never home, we don't really have family time.  Pretty much everything falls to me and I have no real support or help.  It blows, and I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone.

Now, if you are JUST doing school, fine.  But school AND work AND family is ridiculously hard.  I do not recommend it.  Neither of us really has a ton of time to just unwind or do anything for ourselves.  My DH can't even find time to get to the gym right next to his office - work, class, homework, eat, SOMETIMES sleep, this is his life right now.  I have to negotiate with him just to go to the doctor's office - forget things like going out for a girls night or afternoon or ANYTHING fun that doesn't involve DD.

Seriously, if you have family and/or friends who help you right now, do NOT leave.  I don't care how cool a school is - the stress on your life and marriage with no support system in place is not worth it.

neesernicole

Maybe I'm reading this wrong but maybe kerty would have liked her dh to have at least "entertained" the idea. If he had said something like, "honey I will support you in whatever way I can but Harvard ... really? that's a HUGE step. I'm not on board with it right now but let's cross that bridge when we get there."

PearlieGirl'sMom

I am so sorry you got in a fight.

My question would be... why Harvard? Aren't there plenty of reputable schools in your area where you could get an MBA?