worst mom ever..?

aliciablair22

Hi ladies,

I feel guilty and I want some advice. Well I have GD, my fundal measurements are too big and on ultrasound baby is looking very large already. I also have placenta previa and I know that can take care of itself between now and due date. When I went to my Dr. yesterday he presented me with a calender and highlighted dates to choose from for an induction or c-section (if I don'g go into labor by the latest 39 weeks). We talked a lot about the benefits, risks of each and what would be best for me. I decided on a c-section. The way things are looking the option of induction will be taken away as baby will be too large. I have this sense of guilt because I am not trying to have a vaginal birth. My mom had GD and I was 10'6 and my brother 11'6. I feel really judged and pressured by MIL and other family members because of this decision. I honestly think this is the right decisin for me... am I crazy.?

To top it all off I am still unsure about breast feeding due to anti anxiety medications that I can't take and breast feed with at the same time (pregnancy has been hard for me emotionally) and I have been just getting by with antidepressants. I have had anxiety and depression since I was 13 and this is nothing new. I want to make sure that I am calm and able to care for my son and not be a panic attack mess.. 

itkatydid@gmail.com

Don't let other influence or judge you. You are the one having the baby and having to take care of the baby afterward! Make the decision best for you and baby.

ToesnthesandBride07

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for how you are comfortable bringing your baby into the world. This is your decision, not theirs. As for your need to take medications, again, this is a personal topic for you and your DH. Forget everyone else and their 2 cents! Best wishes to you!

Luciddream328

I think that as far as both situations go, your have to do what's best for you and the baby!  If that means a c-section because your baby is too big, then don't feel bad!  And I think I would choose to stay on my medication also.  You need to make sure you're a calm and non-panic attacking mom for your son.  You're not crazy!

Elfgirl

It sounds like you really thought about all of this. If your dr. and your gut tell you that a c-section is the way to go, then I wouldn't listen to others. It sounds like you might not have any other option anyway. Given your situation with anxiety it makes sense for you to choose an option that will make you the most relaxed so that you can be an effective mom.

Again, only you can know which is a better benefit to your LO, you being less anxious as a mother or bf. I wouldn't let anyone tell you what you should do. It sounds like you have already given a lot of yourself during your pregnancy to make your LO safe. I'm sure whatver you do you'll continue to think of your LO.

 Good luck.

elyshaswedding

You are not a bad mom for any of this!  Trust your instincts: if you feel like a C-section is the way to go, make no apologies.  Your doctor gave it to you as an option, meaning he/she feels like it could be medically neccesary.  And for you, maybe it's an emotionally neccesary decision as well, which is important too.  As long as you and baby are healthy on the other side of delivery, that is what matters.

As far as breastfeeding, I will be the first to say that it's not for everyone.  My mom raised all three of us on formula, and I promise you, we aren't traumatized!  May I suggest, though, if you feel at all inclined to do it, just BFing in the hospital (I'm assuming you wouldn't be starting up your anti-anxiety meds right away, I could be wrong).  The colostrum baby gets at the beginning is super-beneficial, and you can even supplement with formula from the beginning.  It's your baby, your choice, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it!  Best of luck...

fisha25

If your doctor wants you to be induced or have a c-section and your ok with it, then you should. Don't feel pressured by other people and what they have done, what's important it what's right for you.

I understand very much what your saying about breastfeeding. Formula has come along way it is almost as good as breast milk. Breastfeeding is hard and if you need medication to help you, you should take it. Breastfeeding and not taking your medication might get to be too much. So maybe try for the first couple of weeks and if it doesn't work out and you need to take you meds, then stop. Don't feel bad if you end up not Breastfeeding, it will be ok.

aliciablair22

Thank you all so much for your replies. I have thought a lot about this, have done a lot of research and don't take any of these decisions lightly. I appreciate your understanding and in my heart I know I am doing the right thing, although it may not be the best for everyone

turkishdelight

Do what is best for you!!!  You can't be a good mom if you are anxious and depressed.  Breastfeeding is good but formula feeding is fine too.  Don't let yourself get guilt tripped by people!!!   One of my good friends was all about breastfeeding with her DD and her DD#2 was tongue tied and couldn't do it.  No big deal. 

Tell your MIL to bite you. 

pregnantalready09

You're not crazy, you're doing what's best for you & the baby. Don't let your family members make you feel bad for what you decide. It's you that is having these problems and you having the baby. Also whatever you decide w/ breastfeeding will be the best thing you can do for you and your baby. If you need the anxiety meds, take them and give your baby a type of formula if you have to.

Its a good thing you're thinking about everything and taking into account you and your baby's health and well-being.

pregnantalready09

Good luck hun!

nickicl

You gotta take care of yourself and anyone who has a problem with that needs to mind their own business! 

Many MILs just have tendancy to be rude anyway no matter what you do.  Supposedly its because we "took their son away" whatever.

My mom had a c section and I was exclusively formula fed.  Seems like I turned out just fine.