My attempt to start dramz.....I DO judge if your kids are dressed in rags....

DandR

I asked the question a couple of days ago...what is worse, parents who look nice and kids are in rags or Parents who are slobs and kids are in rags and the vote was in favor of Parents who look nice and kids in rags being the worse of the two...

However-there were a handful of people who added comments about "well, I pick my battles" and "well, my brother went through a sweatpants phase" or whatever.

And regardless--I still judge you....I do...Sorry. 

OF COURSE there are exceptions---play clothes for daycare does NOT equal rags---walking out of a restaurant with food on your shirt does NOT equal rags....we are talking hand me down, handme down handme downs from the 1980s with holes and such being worn on kids who's hair is not brushed and they look like a mess. 

AND OF COURSE---if the parents are also dressed like that, then I sort of think "oh man, I wish I could buy them some new clothes"

We are talking DECKED out parents who's kids are a wreck.  I judge.

The "pick your battles" argument---I don't understand, if my kids don't have rags in their closet, then they can pick what to wear.  If my kid had a favorite nasty shirt, it would get "lost" in the laundry.  Wearing the same thing day after day?  Nope, not in my house...ever.  So I don't buy that line of BS.

The best response though to that post was from.....(yep I'm calling you out).....dnagal, who told me I should mind my own business when standing in line.....snort.  Honey, I WAS minding my own business....I stayed out of their business...but in my head I was judging..

So there you have it......who wants to fight this fight with me??? 

eclaires

I agree w/ you.

But we all know I'm a shallow, material possessions-obsessed freak.

Regardless - even if my kid has terrible taste and wants to pick out clothes, his choices are only going to be things that are a) clean, b) w/out holes and c) that fit, so I don't worry he will ever be dressed in rags.

I think there is a difference between allowing a child to pick out their own clothes and them looking neglected.  Unless you're blind, it should be easy to spot the difference.  

femmegem

Not me. I taught in a really low-income neighborhood for awhile, and I completely judged the mothers who came in looking like a million bucks while their kids had dried milk on their mouths and dirty clothes on. I get that some people can't do better for their kids and I don't judge that, but if you can dress yourself to the nines you can obviously dress your kids properly, you just choose not to.

ellemoney:)

femmegem:

Not me. I taught in a really low-income neighborhood for awhile, and I completely judged the mothers who came in looking like a million bucks while their kids had dried milk on their mouths and dirty clothes on. I get that some people can't do better for their kids and I don't judge that, but if you can dress yourself to the nines you can obviously dress your kids properly, you just choose not to.

This 100%.

Yodajo

I agree with you that if the clothes aren't in their closet, they can't fight you on it. 

I do keep some ripped jeans and ugly hand me down shirts for Sam in case he is going to be doing something really messy.  Would he ever wear those clothes in public?  No.  And if he insisted and had a complete fit?  Fine, let him.  I would have no problem saying no and walking away while he has a meltdown over it.  

I judged a mom at McDonald's Monday.  She was dressed in flood 1980s sweatpants, her son was in his pajamas and she left her 4 y.o. daughter alone in the play area for 10 minutes, while she met her friend and then ordered food.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have  judged too harshly what she was wearing if she had just watched her kid, but since she didn't, I judged away. 

joseysbride

The only way I could find that acceptable is if the family really was just scraping by, and the parent had to look decent for their job.  But I wouldn't expect the parent to be in designer clothing in that case.

Kind of like The Pursuit of Happyness.  The dad was always dressed in a suit and tie, even though it was probably the same suit and tie most every day.

pincushions

eclaires:

I agree w/ you.

But we all know I'm a shallow, material possessions-obsessed freak.

Regardless - even if my kid has terrible taste and wants to pick out clothes, his choices are only going to be things that are a) clean, b) w/out holes and c) that fit, so I don't worry he will ever be dressed in rags.

I think there is a difference between allowing a child to pick out their own clothes and them looking neglected.  Unless you're blind, it should be easy to spot the difference.  

This.

I 100% judge the parent of the little boy in DS's class that gets out of his Range Rover and his 4yr old has high waters on! While the little girl is dressed nice and with clothing that fits!

 

MommyofAlissa

I agree. Most of the time, that kid is better dressed than I am. I do make a point of her looking very nice though. The combo you would see on us, is mom in ratty jeans and a tshirt, and Alissa in a pretty dress and tights, w/ her hair perfectly combed.

KoriBrett

I agree w/everyone.  I err on the side of spending the $ on the kids first, me & DH last so they're usually better dressed than we are.  If it gets stained or ripped to hell & back, it gets thrown out. I mean, if I wouldn't even donate I'm not putting it on my kid.

dnagal

I am absolutely thrilled that you consider mine the Best Response to your post.  Perhaps I should get a ribbon to add to my siggie. 

However, you misquote me, my response was:
"I generally mind my own business when standing in line."   

That's what I do, I have no interest in how other people dress themselves or their kids a the post office.  

So feel free to call me out.....for not giving a $hit.   

CleoKitty

I used to do home daycare and some of the kids I watched were really raggedy and unkempt looking. I'm not talking daycare play clothes, I'm just talking clothes that are torn, mismatched, stained, three sizes too big and totally inappropriate for the weather (ie: a sundress in January, a long-sleeved black velvet Christmas dress with a torn hem in August).

As shallow as it sounds, I would totally be embarrassed sometimes to take these kids in public. If we went to the library, park or a playgroup I felt like I had to make a public disclaimer that the children weren't mine, LOL. And really, I'm totally not all stuck-up and snobby about clothes- my standards aren't ridiculously high.

MarchMom06

pincushions:

eclaires:

I agree w/ you.

But we all know I'm a shallow, material possessions-obsessed freak.

Regardless - even if my kid has terrible taste and wants to pick out clothes, his choices are only going to be things that are a) clean, b) w/out holes and c) that fit, so I don't worry he will ever be dressed in rags.

I think there is a difference between allowing a child to pick out their own clothes and them looking neglected.  Unless you're blind, it should be easy to spot the difference.  

This.

I 100% judge the parent of the little boy in DS's class that gets out of his Range Rover and his 4yr old has high waters on! While the little girl is dressed nice and with clothing that fits!

 

I'l just say that my 4 yr old frequently has highwaters. Because he's skinny with no butt & I can't find 4Ts that are small enough (in the waist) for him. The 3Ts fit well in the waist (or are too big, but not as bad), but the length is horrible. I'd rather have him in pants that are a bit short but don't fall down when he runs. Poor guy runs on the playground at DC with his hand around his waist otherwise.

My own exception aside , I agree. If you have enough money to buy nice clothes for yourself, spend some on your kids.

gracendantho26

I would agree but then reading through the responses I realized I am an offender. Owen was inbetween sizes..too big for a size 4 and too short for a size 5 (FWIW he's built like a linebacker and he's hard to fit). so to avoid the short pants I went with the size 5. I'd roll them once at the bottom but by the end of the day they were unrolled and since they hit the ground they started looking worn really quickly there even though they were actually pretty new. He's just now becoming a legit size 5. Thank God!

And FWIW if your kid is dressed up and you look like butt I am judging you too.

DandR

dnagal:

I am absolutely thrilled that you consider mine the Best Response to your post.  Perhaps I should get a ribbon to add to my siggie. 

However, you misquote me, my response was:
"I generally mind my own business when standing in line."   

That's what I do, I have no interest in how other people dress themselves or their kids a the post office.  

So feel free to call me out.....for not giving a $hit.   

hahaha...ok, well, maybe I totally read the tone wrong.  I read it along the lines of "DandR...mind your own business in line...that's what IIIIIIII do...neener, neener" 

My attempt to start dramz was weak at best since everyone generally agrees here.....shoot....did you hear about the woman who smothered her baby on the plane while BFing??? That's what happens when you NIP.....will that start a debate?????  kidding! 

veloelle

gracendantho26:

And FWIW if your kid is dressed up and you look like butt I am judging you too.

I judge mom's who look like a$$ way more than kids in highwaters. I have a friend who just doesn't much care about fashion. And it shows in the outfits her kid wears. Not torn or stained, just, not right. Very fug.

What if you judged me when I picked up DD from DC on a morning DH dresses her? Some of the "outfits" he puts her in look like, well, a 2 year old put them together. 

Just because you haven't had to wage a particular battle with your kids doesn't mean it is not a monumental issue in someone else's house. For some parents, the kid dressing in 3 day old pants might mean the difference between getting their a$$ chewed for being late to work for wrestling their kid to the ground to put on a different pair of pants.

dnagal

DandR:

My attempt to start dramz was weak at best since everyone generally agrees here.....shoot....did you hear about the woman who smothered her baby on the plane while BFing??? That's what happens when you NIP.....will that start a debate?????  kidding! 

SNORT.  Love it.  "Mothers against baby-smothering public nursers"

Although the last time I rode on a plane they had added even MORE seats and I felt smothered myself.  Maybe she should sue the airline. 

Lisa102304

eclaires:

Regardless - even if my kid has terrible taste and wants to pick out clothes, his choices are only going to be things that are a) clean, b) w/out holes and c) that fit, so I don't worry he will ever be dressed in rags.

I think there is a difference between allowing a child to pick out their own clothes and them looking neglected.  Unless you're blind, it should be easy to spot the difference.  

 

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. Totally agree.