SIL having Trouble TTC

BoSoxbride

My brother's been married to his wife for two years and I just found out that they're having trouble ttc. We both had miscarriages the same week last February, and so I knew that they were trying then. My mom just told me that my SIL told her that she didn't want to even see her brother's newborn recently because it's so hard for her.

I feel terrible and really am not sure what, if anything, I can do. I know they're in the midst of some kind of fertility treatment and are being very proactive in trying to get pg. I'm not particularly close to her or my brother, but I know the fact that I have a toddler and am expecting another baby next month can't be easy for her/them to see. Anyone dealt with this have any advice?

mrshutch

Aw, that's rough. I hope they're successful very soon! I haven't been in the same situation, but I know when we had our DD we had at least a couple of friends who were having trouble TTC. They hadn't really discussed it with us, so I didn't really say much, but they were sweet about seeing our DD and giving her attention. Had they not been into seeing her, I would've simply given them their space and made an effort to say hi and everything, but not pushed myself on them (not saying you're doing this- I'm sure you're not). I'm sure you're doing all of the right things, and unfortunately, it's something your SIL will need to work through. Best wishes to them.

honeybee111

I agree with just giving them space and letting them come to you.  I was in your SIL's position, and I never let people know how hard it was to be around babies/showers/people announcing pregnancies.  I don't think there's really anything specific you can say to her - she's going to have figure out a way to deal with it.

jenn_reeder

My SIL was having the same issue.  They have been trying for a couple of years and when DH and I conceived I felt really bad announcing it b/c I knew of her troubles.  I just tried my hardest not to talk baby all the time...and I prayed my hardest for her.  She is now 9 weeks preggo and I am sooooo excited for her!

vmm0016

All you can do is be sensitive to her situation.  My SIL had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and had a miscarriage 2 years ago.  She came to my baby shower but cried when she was there.  I felt so bad for her!  She is now 6 weeks pregnant and I pray for her and the baby everyday!

epphd

I'm very sorry to hear this and I commend you for asking how to approach/not approach her.  I would just follow her lead - let her know that you are there for her, but do not volunteer info unless she asks.

In time, with luck, she will have her own pregnancy and baby and you can celebrate with her then.  I am certain she will be grateful for your sensitivity to her during this time.