MoMs...did you and your DH sleep in shifts in the beginning?

daisybride78

I remember reading somewhere along the way about doing shifts at night so that each parent can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time. Of course, now I can't remember or find where I read about that. So, if you and your DH did shifts at night, how did it work and what was your timing? Were you bf-ing? pumping? formula?

Thanks so much!

Temp159135562506975

DH and I each took a baby - early on they were both up every 3 hours almost on the dot- so we'd both be up feeding them at the same time.  I was too sore to do it all on my own... but now and then DH would do them both on his own - he wanted me to rest and heal.

our boys STTN at 8 weeks - so it wasn't THAT long that we had to deal with night time feedings - the first 4 weeks DH was off of work so that helped - and that was when they ate 3x's at night.  Around 5w they started to stretch it out to 2x's a night... then by 8w none.

I was pumping then but we FF at night.

blairsgirl

I had help other than mh.  He travels a lot so I either did it by myself or had my parents to help.  They are not sttn yet and I still get up with them 98% of them time at night.

lgurian

we did sleep in shifts. i still got up to pump, but being up for 10 min to pump is better then the hour it took to feed, burp, change and put back to sleep. it was really nice to sleep for more then 2 hours. when DH went back to work after two weeks i would do the first two night feedings and then he would do the early morning feeding. 

ncsubride

When ours were first born we both got up and we each took one (I was pumping exclusively for them) so we each would feed someeone and then I would pump and we would all go back to sleep and do it all again in a couple hours. 

As they got older and the sessions between pumping increased we started doing shifts.  I would go to bed when they went or shortly thereafter.  We started bedtime at 7pm when we first got home from the hospital.  I would sleep from 8-2 getting up to pump when needed.  Dh would take them if they woke up from 8-2 and then I would take them from 2am on so he could sleep before work.  Dh is a night owl so this worked well for us and we each got sleep which was great.

jdn2009

I'm probably not a good example but DH and I try to sleep in shifts but with one twin having colic  and on formula and the other twin bf we are both up at times.  We also have some help with mother in law and my friend to help with overnight or evening feeds to let one of us get some rest.  My girls have been home for one month now and it seems like they start to get on a schedule and then completely change it up.  Plus the pediatrician still wants them to feed every 3-4 hours since they are preemies.  Good luck to you!

Rose.9.6.03

Different schedules work for different people, so I'd play around with what works for your family.  For us, we slept in shifts. 

DH works relatively long days (leaves for work at 6am and gets home between 6-7), so I wanted to make sure he was getting some continuous sleep - and I wanted some for myself. 

Basically, what we'd do is I'd give him the girls around 7pm, I'd get a bite to eat and then go to bed until midnight.  DH would be in charge of the girls from 7 pm until midnight.  They fed at 9 pm and on most nights, be asleep at 10 pm.  So DH would then sleep from 10pm until midnight in their room (we had a futon set up in there) and then come to bed.  I'd get up and feed the girls at midnight and 3 am (I also pumped after each feeding session).  Then for the 6 am feeding, we'd often do it together before DH went into work.  Although sometimes DH would do it alone if I had a particularly rough night and sometimes I'd do it alone if DH had to get into work early. 

 We took the philosophy of every man for himself when we were on our sleeping shifts.  The person who was tending to the babies slept in their room.  The person who was sleeping, slept in our bedroom with the fan running, so that they couldn't hear the crying and would get good quality sleep. 

We did this for the first 2 months or so.  It's major drawback is that you don't see each other - but at that point we were in survival mode anyway.  By 2.5 months, I had one baby STTN and my other was getting up 1-3 times a night.  At that point, I generally just handled the night wakings, and DH would get up early with the girls on the weekends, so that I could sleep in.

Best of luck with whatever system you develop!

omalley

We did shifts in the beginning.  I would sleep 9:00pm to about 2:00am and my DH would have the babies.  I wish I could say that it worked great for us but I had a hard time going to sleep even though I was so tired.  I think it was my hormones and my stress/need for control (that has subsided a little thankfullly)

I would then be awake from 2:00am until 8:00am when my MIL came over from 8:00am until 12:00.  That is when i got the majority of my sleep.

When I went back to work at 10 weeks we each took a baby.  If your baby slept then you slept.

KLyn

we didn't do shifts, per se, but we took turns.  When I was breastfeeding it was all me all the time, but once they were not eating at night and we knew it was just a soothing, i-dropped-my-binkie kind of thing we took turns as to who got up.

jenn_darrin1515

I thought for sure we would sleep in shifts, but it just never worked out...feeding/changing/burping 2 babies is not easy to do...dh had to go back to work pretty much the day after I had them since he had just started a new job....so the way we did it was we took turns getting up to get them...one of us (usually DH) would bring the babies in from their room (we put them in their cribs from the beginning) after changing them while I got the bottles ready (we always did formula on the overnight, even when I was bfing the first month...) then we would prop the babies in their boppies and dh would "dream hold" the bottles while I made sure they ate and got burped and got them back to bed...

by 6-7 weeks they were eating at 10pm, 2pm, and 6am usually...so we were down to only 1 real "overnight" feeding...and I don't remember much at all from the first 6 weeks...I think they were eating at 9, 12, 3, 6...good luck...whatever you decide to do will work...and it doesn't last forever!

LoveTravel

My DH and I never had shifts- my mother was here for the two weeks (except weekends since DH is off).  She helped me out and we had them on the same eating schedule by the end of it, my DH did not take any time-off as he wouldn't of gotten paid for it, but he helps out in the evenings and weekends with burping/changing diapers, etc...

Since I was/am nursing there is not much he could of done to help and he works during the week so he needed his rest.

After my mother left I attempted to do it on my own and have been since and the babies have been sleeping thru the night for a month or so, so there is no need for me to get up other than to have to put a soother in and so forth...

Rinnie

We did not sleep in shifts.  So I am no help to you with that.

 I EBF the boys from the moment they were born and in did not want to supplement with formula until later.  In addition I had no time to pump, mostly because in addition to the boys I also had a 20 month old DD running around.

My DH & I talked about this and came to agreement that he would be responsible for DD at night.  She still didn't/doesn't at almost 3 years old STTN.

I am not a heavy sleeper to begin with and would have heard the babies fussying and crying and would have gotten up to see what was happening.

So it just made sense for us to do it this way.  I felt that at least 1 parent had to be awake and on their toes for our DD.

Or course once DH went back to work after 2 weeks it was really really hard to only have maybe 1 - 2 hours of sleep a night!

carissasmom

We didn't do shifts.  The girls are sleeping through the night now, but in the beginning we both got up or I did it alone.  I'm BFing so I have to be up to feed, but its easier w/ DH helping me.  I'm jealous of the girls that their DH's take a shift.  My DH is an awesome helper, but there is no way he could of handled getting both girls changed, fed and back to bed on his own.  What worked best for us in the early days when one would wake, I would get her, change her diaper, wake DH up to get #2, start nursing #1, he would change #2 and would add her to the mix.  Whoever was done first he took back to bed, then he would lay back down, I would finsih the last one and put her back to bed.  The entire process usually took less than 30 mins from start to finish.  It hasn't been that long, but its honestly already a blur - you'll be tired, but you'll survive and you'll look back and never remember it being that bad. 

sfitz0711

Sleeping in shifts does not work here.  DH is finishing up school and working so most nights he needs to get sleep.  Plus I am EBF so he can't really do anything in the feeding department.  However, on the nights that he doesn't have to get up in the mornings, I get him to burp and change them after I feed them.  I have a routine down to 30-45 minutes usually.  

daisybride78

Ladies--Thank you SO MUCH for all of your responses! I really appreciate hearing what worked for all of you. DH and I have a LOT to talk about!