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Good Morning! :)

AuburnBride06AuburnBride06
in Infertility

Hi everyone. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. We had a nice Thanksgiving with Family and a much needed long weekend. I was off Wed-Friday, so a 5 day weekend was much welcomed. Unfortunately, I don't think this little one will be sticking around. I started bleeding heavily and cramping really bad yesterday. Still bleeding pretty bad. I am supposed to get a repeat beta wednesday but I am going to call my nurse and see if they want to go ahead and run one sooner. I know it is over. I know my body well enough, unfortunately. My bb's got insanely sore over the course of the week, but everything disappeared yesterday, completely. I'm sad, but haven't cried. It's weird, and kind of hard to describe. I don't know if it's just complete acceptance or what. I guess this has become the norm for us, I don't know. I'm sad, heartbroken. But it's a different sad this time. I will be honest and say that I worry that DH will start to drift away from me b/c I can't hold on to our babies. Probably irrational, but still a fear of mine.

I will update after I get more blood drawn, whenever that is. We will start again after the new year and we are back in town and get back in the swing of things at work, if my RE doesn't get rid of us by then. He had said after one more loss that he would recommend a second opinion, but we have some things to think about before we are ready to move on to a second opinion, and we are not ready for that yet. We are leaving on Dec. 17 to go to Miami and won't be back till probably Jan. 2 or 3. I can't wait to get out of here.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. {{{HUGS}}} to all.

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Re: Good Morning! :)

  • LCB34LCB34 member
    Oh Auburn I am so sorry to hear about this. I am hoping that everything is ok. I think you trip to Miami will be a nice break from reality. (((HUGS)))
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  • nikisnownikisnow member
    I am so sorry.  I am keeping my fingers crossed for good news. 

    Broken Lady Parts Blog


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  • thewormstheworms member

    I've been thinking about you.  I'm so sorry (((HUGS))).

    You and DH will be in my prayers.  Keep us posted.

    more (((HUGS)))

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    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • LuckynTiggerLuckynTigger
    I am so so sorry to hear that you are going through this again.  I wish I could give you a real hug.  (((((BIG HUGS))))
    image TTC with PCOS since Feb. 07. Currently on a break to save $$ for IUI. Searching for My Mini M&M
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  • sweetcaroline10sweetcaroline10

    Oh Auburn, I am so sorry you are going through this.  There really aren't any other words.

    You & your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • *Willis**Willis*
    I'm so sorry darlin'.  I've been thinking about you all weekend.
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  • BRSaugust20BRSaugust20 member
    Auburn - I am so sorry.  I hope everything is okay.  I hope your trip to Miami will be a time for you and DH to enjoy each other.
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  • ginger67ginger67
    Im so sorry! I cant seem to stay pregnant either and its such a mind*uck to see a BFP and not be able to be happy about it yet. A fresh start with a new RE sounds like a good idea. Have a relaxing trip and try to spoil yourself a little.
    1-20-09 BFP third month of Follistim IUI 02-19-09 MC 06-24-09 MC July IUI Follistim Ganirelix Ovidrel Crinone=BFN Aug. IUI Follistim Ganirelix ovidrel Crinone=BFP= scared sh**less 10-12-09 MC = 1 ectopic 1 perfect Dec. IUI Gonal-F Ganirelix Ovidrel Crinone Lovenox 01-02-10 BFP=scared sh**less again 01-06-10 CP SAIF ALWAYS WELCOME : ) March 2010 - IVF in progress converted to IUI 03-30-10 BFN April 2010 - IVF - BFFN June 2010 - IVF - BFFN July IUI BFP! March 26 2011 Gracie is here! imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • WifeOfARedheadWifeOfARedhead
    I'm really sorry to read this Auburn, my thoughts are with you and praying things are really okay. I hope your Miami trip is a relaxing one that allows you to get away and enjoy each other. Take care.
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  • Mrs.JohnsMrs.Johns member

    I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you.

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  • igh0318igh0318

    I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))

    Thinking of you and hoping for the best. 

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  • Babsie7Babsie7 member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. {{big hugs}}
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  • MouseygailMouseygail member
    (((HUGS!!))))  I'm sending you lots of good news vibes!
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  • madelyn07madelyn07 member

    I am so sorry to hear this sweetie! I'm still going to be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that a miracle comes from this.

    I'll be around if you need to chat/email/whatever.

    Take care!

    TTC #1 since June 2008 *SAIFW*

    TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs

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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    I am so sorry hon. I wish there were words. Sending you (((((hugehugs))))) and tons of T&Ps for a holiday miracle.
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    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
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  • LolaLLolaL
    I am sorry. You are in my T&P's.
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  • mrslovebugmrslovebug
    I'm so sorry to hear that.  I hope 2010 is good to you! 
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  • nikinikininenikinikinine member
    Auburn, I'm so sorry. So very, very sorry. Your fears about your DH are not irrational. I think we all have these fears (i.e. if he would have married someone else this wouldn't be a problem for him, etc.) We just have to keep in mind/remember that with our husbands we are a team. There was love and strength and unity there before there was ever a desire for children. You (both) will make it through this. Enjoy your break and rest up. 2010 is going to be great. I can just feel it!
    It's Always Something
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  • AlissaCell701AlissaCell701
    Ugh..I am so sorry, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything works out. I think your trip to Miami might come at the right time..Dec-Jan is a wonderful time to be here the weather is perfect not too hot or cold.
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  • negrilbride07negrilbride07
    I am so very sorry you're experiencing this. My thoughts are with you. (((hugs)))
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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    I'm so sorry.  I was thinking about you all weekend.  Sending big hugs your way.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

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  • patchen30patchen30 member
    I am so, so sorry.  You have an incredible reserve of strength and I know you will get through this horrible time in your life and things will turn out to be ok in the end for you.  It's only a matter of time.  Your DH will not drift away from you - I think you have been through the worst of it.  Screw 2009.  2010 will be better for you.  (((((((hugs)))))).

    TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
    2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
    IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
    IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN :(
    IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
    Lap 7/21/10
    IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
    FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!

     

    James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!

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  • may2806may2806 member

    I am so sorry you're going through this. Keep us posted. ((HUGS))?

    Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
    Early loss 10/08
    Lap 1/09
    IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
    Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
    Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
    IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
    IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
    IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
    One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
    DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
    DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
    10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
    DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
    2 frosties but don't know what's next
    FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
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  • MAK06MAK06 member
    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I'm so sorry you are going through all of this!  ((HUGS))

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    IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13 imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • Ali212Ali212 member
    I'm SO sorry...I'm thinking of you.  Hugs :)
    5 IUIs | 4 IVFs | 2 sweet little girls Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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