WWYD: offer to host baby shower early?
joelen&louis
member
Hi ladies...
Some good friends of mine have offered to host a baby shower for me in January. It's such a sweet and thoughtful gesture considering they know we are moving away at the end of March to a home we bought in the suburbs.
The problem? The date they offered to host is a bit early - I'll be just 20 weeks and still in the middle of my second tri. I think it's a bit early since I figured most baby showers are done in the third tri and I'm not sure how to respond to their offer. Ideally, I'd prefer to have a baby shower done in early March when I'll officially be in my third tri and just before we move.
Would you...
- accept and have a baby shower hosted in your honor as early as 20 weeks?
- decline and suggest it may be better to have a shower once you're in your third tri just before you move?
I'm not sure which way to go here and any suggestion would be appreciated - thanks in advance!
ETA:
The date of Jan. 24th was simply chosen since all three of my friends who want to get together and host the shower for me would be available - no upcoming plans that would affect the date... just a random date they chose.
Re: WWYD: offer to host baby shower early?
I think a lot depends on why they've chosen the date. If they pulled it out of a hat, I think it's OK to ask how they'd feel about late February/early March.
But if the primary hostess is, say, getting married in February or March or one is deploying for overseas service or some other important consideration, then your choices are simply to accept or decline. Personally, I'd accept.
If it's the only date all three of them are available, then I would just accept it. If they are your close friends, I think you could ask if they are available on the date you want - if they say no, then just have it on the original date. I don't think that would be offensive to ask.
My family shower was super early(I was 22 weeks), but one of my hosts was coming in from out of town, I had to fly for the shower, and it was the only weekend available for everyone before the holidays started. I don't think anyone really cared that it was early since it was the most convenient date for everyone.
Hey Joelen! Congrats on the BFP!
If it were me... I'd decline and tell them I didn't feel comfortable having one that early on (which was true for me - didn't start to really feel everything would be OK until like 25wks), but would so love one a little later on if they were still willing.
GL!
click the pic (blog)
I would ask them nicely if they wouldn't mind waiting until March. 20 weeks is super early.
DH and I live out of state from our family, but we are about to move an additional 2,000 miles away, so my shower was thrown for me at 22 weeks. Of course it's earlier than most showers, but it was because of the circumstances and everyone understood that. It wasn't awkward at all. I still had so much fun and thought it was perfect. I am noticeably pregnant so it didn't look odd, and I was very comfortable. I had a great time and wouldn't change it.
If it is possible to have your shower later and that's what you prefer, then I don't blame you for wanting it that way. In my case however, it was the difference between taking a 2-hour, $200 flight home at 22 weeks before the holidays, or waiting until late in my third tri and taking a 6-hour, $500+ flight home when I could be very uncomfortable or possibly on bedrest by that point and definitely not up for all that traveling. Plus, it's great to be only 24 weeks and already have everything we need. Now when we settle into our new home, we can set everything up and I can just relax the rest of my pregnancy without worrying about picking up and assembling baby gear at 35+ weeks.
Thanks ladies for your advice...
I agree - 20 weeks is quite a bit early but this isn't going to be my only shower since I have 2-3 other ones being planned by other friends/family which will be held closer into my 3rd tri. This one these friends are planning are specifically for a group of friends who belong to a culinary group I created here in Chicago (What's Cookin, Chicago).
After talking with them, turns out that they wanted it early since they figured we'd be busy packing and preparing for our move in all of Feb & March, assuming I won't have too much time to socialize then.... which is partially true.
Our move will be about 45 min to an hour drive away so it's not feasible for these specific group of friends to come out to the suburbs when many of them do not drive and rely solely on the public transportation options we have living in downtown Chicago.
Considering I have other social groups and other showers being planned later in my pregnancy, I feel okay about having one as early as 20 weeks... so I ended up accepting their offer. It would be the last time I see these friends before our move so I figured it would be okay.
Nonetheless, thanks so much for your advice!!
First, congrats! I'm over on the entertaining board as well, and have been gone for a while, so I missed that you are pg. I hope that all goes well for you in your pregnancy!
While a later date would have been ideal, I think that you are right in accepting what will be the easiest for the hosts. Enjoy your shower! Let us know how it goes!