your advise please

AussieAbbie

so my wonderful friend has told me right from the get go, she wants to throw us the baby shower for my friends and DH's family (I have no family in the US) so since my redneck IL's didn't respond to her emails and or voice mails, we decided to give them good old fashioned written invites.  She gave them to me to give to them on Thanksgiving, with a spare.. I'm totally hormonal but really upset that she hasn't put on there where we are registered! I just know DH's family and they have a total different life style to ours, with little money, if they are going to get us gifts, I really would prefer they purchase off the registry and not waste their $ on crap they would use and we wouldn't.. I have tons of items on our registry starting at $1.70 to $16 that would be really appreciated if they want to buy for us..

How do I tell my hostess in a nice way she didn't put this on there and if she could let my IL's know where we are registered at so if they do buy us things, it will be what we need?

TIA!!

britti<3

You can't tell them what to buy you plain and simple. If they want to buy you something off your registry they will ask where you are registered.

hopefulmom

If you personally handed them out (kind of weird in itself) then why didn't YOU just tell them where you were registered?  That would have been the easiest thing.  At this point though, I would call your hostess and tell her that you noticed she did not put on your invite where you were registered and if she could please let people know as they call with their RSVP.  You also let your MIL know and hopefully she can spread the word to other family members.

kristinem17

You could have your hostess contact your parents to see if they got their invitation.... and in the same phone call she could mention your registry.  Not everyone will buy from the registry, even when they know about it, but it certainly is a way to guide them and give ideas.  If you look at any invitation website you will see on their samples that they list where the mother to be is registered.  In your case it's a bit tough since the invites are already delivered.  Good luck

RoxyLynn

Your hostess knows her etiquette - it is never appropriate, regardless of the occasion, to force gift preferences on potential attendees.  If anyone wants to know they'll ask when they RSVP, or spend literally 30 seconds to ask you or track it down online.

If they're not willing to invest that tiny amount of time, they really don't want to know.  And guests knowing your preferences does not, in any way, mean they necessarily choose to shop off of your list.

cswatch

kristinem17:

You could have your hostess contact your parents to see if they got their invitation.... and in the same phone call she could mention your registry.  Not everyone will buy from the registry, even when they know about it, but it certainly is a way to guide them and give ideas.  If you look at any invitation website you will see on their samples that they list where the mother to be is registered.  In your case it's a bit tough since the invites are already delivered.  Good luck

This...  and have DH mention it to your MIL.

superaunt

Most people will have the sense to check typical places where one might register or ask about it but like others said, you really have NO control over what you are gifted. That's the joy of gifting.

hopefulmom

I have not heard it is inappropirate to put registry info in a shower invite (wedding or baby).  I know it is totally unacceptable for wedding invites...but not shower.  How else will people know what your silverware pattern is or your china pattern?  Same goes for baby shower.  Obviously they don't have to honor your list...but at least they would know where to look if they do want to buy from your registry list.

AussieAbbie

 

AussieAbbie

hopefulmom:

If you personally handed them out (kind of weird in itself) then why didn't YOU just tell them where you were registered?  That would have been the easiest thing.  At this point though, I would call your hostess and tell her that you noticed she did not put on your invite where you were registered and if she could please let people know as they call with their RSVP.  You also let your MIL know and hopefully she can spread the word to other family members.

yes I handed them to my IL's but they were in sealed envelopes.. I didn't know what they read so that is why I didn't tell them at that time and make a point of where we were registered.. I have not ever seen a baby shower invite that didn't reference where the registry is at.. so while yes, that would've been the easiest thing, I hadn't seen the actual invite till I looked at the spare one the following day.

hopefulmom

I would just make your hostess aware where  you are registered (in case she doesn't know) so she can mention it to the guests when they RSVP.  I'd also call MIL (if you are close to her) and let her know.  Hopefully she will get the hint and tell the rest of the relatives.  A lot of people don't necessarily buy from the registry but they use it to get ideas or to buy the same thing at a store with less expensive prices.

babydragonsister

RoxyLynn:

Your hostess knows her etiquette - it is never appropriate, regardless of the occasion, to force gift preferences on potential attendees.  If anyone wants to know they'll ask when they RSVP, or spend literally 30 seconds to ask you or track it down online.

If they're not willing to invest that tiny amount of time, they really don't want to know.  And guests knowing your preferences does not, in any way, mean they necessarily choose to shop off of your list.

THIS!!!
Please, don't say anything to anybody, your in-laws or your hostess.  It will be a pain, but the truly polite thing to do is to just return everything they get you that you can't use and then use the money to get stuff off of your registry yourself. 

(PS My friend did put my registry on the invites, sigh, but honestly, only a few people actually used it!)

jiffy-pop

Couldn't you have written it on the invites before giving them out at Thanksgiving?