Am I being a Biotch? long

theworms

DH's bro, my SIL  and niece and nephew live in Miami.  They want to come up for holidays and stay with us (at least a week)  We have a 1 BR apt. and they would all have to sleep in the LR.  I really don't want them to stay for several reasons

1 - we don't have room for 4 additional people (if we had 2 bathrooms I would be more ok with it)

2 - DH and I will not be taking any time off for holidays and we can't entertain them and I am a little weirded out at having people in my space for long periods of time when I am not home

3 - if they come I can't put up a tree b/c we won't have space and it is one of my fav things about the Holidays and I hope for it to be our first tree while KU (please let it happen)

4 - I am still upset about this

They informed us the day after we were told we couldn't have biological children (March 2009) that we were to fly down to Miami to baptize our niece and nephew  with 3 weeks notice (we'd known we would be the god parents for a long time, kids are 12 and 9). When we asked for an extension we were told no and had to pay a ridiculous amount of money (hi, we just spent $20,000 to not have a kid) to fly to Mi.ami.  My SIL then offered to get us a kid from South America - WTF!

When we were there this happened -  we were hanging out with D's fam, my nephew said that my watch was cool. I said thank you. My SIL asked me if D got it for me, I said yes, he gave it to me for Christmas. She then says to everyone, it's so nice when you don't have kids and you can buy each other presents.  BI!TCH PLEASE!!!  You knew everything we had been through and we just spent a *** load of money to come here and baptize your kids.

So am I being a biotch?  Should I just suck it up and let them stay with us?

MontyMrs

I think you should say no, did they just invite themselves to stay at your place?  That alone is rude! You don't have the space for 4 more people and you will have a very stressful Xmas if they stay.  She sounds like she totally sucks anyway.  

ashonkwiler09

I don't think you're being a biotch at all. In fact, I think it's rude of them to want to come stay with you when you don't have the space for them. That's a total inconvenience to you. If I were in this situation, I would tell them to get a hotel room. That's a lot of people in a small space for an extended period of time. I would go crazy. 

firegirlkorb1

I don't think you are in the wrong at all.  You paid a ton of money to fly there, let them pay for a hotel!

theworms

MontyMrs:

I think you should say no, did they just invite themselves to stay at your place?  That alone is rude! You don't have the space for 4 more people and you will have a very stressful Xmas if they stay.  She sounds like she totally sucks anyway.  

they hinted it to DH over the phone and he said he would talk to me, so i get to be the bad guy

Meagan618

I would also say no.

Dragonfly1226

We live in a small 2 BR apartment. There's no way that we would be able to fit 4 extra people in here! Especially with one bathroom. And if your SIL is going to make just one rude or insensitive comment, that's even worse!

I know they're family and all, but I don't think you should put yourself through that.

ashonkwiler09

theworms:

MontyMrs:

I think you should say no, did they just invite themselves to stay at your place?  That alone is rude! You don't have the space for 4 more people and you will have a very stressful Xmas if they stay.  She sounds like she totally sucks anyway.  

they hinted it to DH over the phone and he said he would talk to me, so i get to be the bad guy

I'm always the bad guy when it comes to DH's family. I don't feel bad about it because they are extremely rude. In fact my MIL can never stay with us again and is not welcome in our home. 

MontyMrs

theworms:

MontyMrs:

I think you should say no, did they just invite themselves to stay at your place?  That alone is rude! You don't have the space for 4 more people and you will have a very stressful Xmas if they stay.  She sounds like she totally sucks anyway.  

they hinted it to DH over the phone and he said he would talk to me, so i get to be the bad guy

That sucks, better to be the bad guy now.  If it were me, I wouldn't be able to help but show my annoyance when they were there which would make me look like even more of a bad guy.   

sweetcaroline10

No, you are not being a biotch, rude or unaccomodating.

What in the world are a 12 & 9 year old going to do for a whole week cramped (no offense) in a living room with their parents?

You spent time and money flying down to FL earlier this year.  Let them do the same.

And...who cares if you are the "bad guy"  It would drive me even crazier if I had to listen to your SIL's nitwit comments all week.

 

 

sheila1108

OMG! I would not offer for them to stay with me if I were you. The fact alone that you couldn't put up a tree would deter me. I would give them a bunch of names & #'s to local hotels and say you'd love to have them over for dinner/brunch or whatever a few times.

Kiki11

I would come up with a list of nearby hotels and kindly suggest that they make a reservation soon so that the hotels aren't booked up.  There is no way I would be letting them stay with me... but maybe I'm just being a b*tch, too

sourpop

No way! I know its hard to say no, but dont sacrifice your tree or comfort level for them - esp when they havent been the most respectful to you in the past. A week is way too long. 

You could also always go with the excuse that one of you are sick and shouldnt be around people. :-)

kimarino13

I think it's incredibly inconsiderate of them to even think that's an option. I mean, 6 people in a 1BR/1BA apartment?  Seriously?  They need to find a hotel.

No, I would not let them stay.  I would give them some nearby hotel options.  

Mrs.Kiltlifter

I would say no way.  We had a very tiny house and our only saving grace was our travel trailer that we would offer to people.  In no way would I want people to sleep in my living room which is the only living space.  And how in the hell would they even want that?  I would never want to do that.

mrshoppy_1231

I would absolutely say no if I were you - an additional 4 people in a 1BR would NOT be fun. And I don't think you are being a biotch at all! Even if you had room for them your SIL thoughtless comments would be enough reason for me! I agree - give them some numbers to hotels nearby and if they really want to be there for the holidays they will make it happen.

Good luck worms!

GenRN45

I would not let them stay. I cannot believe the things she has said to you and think you 're 100% right.

DHelenL9

You are not remotely being a Biotch, in fact you sound very sweet that you are worried about hurting their feelings over this.  Sounds like your SIL is VERY selfish and not thinking of you or your husbands feelings in the slightest bit.  My opinion is that you just flat out tell them  that your place is way too small,and unfortunately there's just not enough room.  Since you've already told them about not being able to have children, and she (or they) apparently wasn't very sensitive about that, you shouldn't have to just suck up how you feel.   You can try to be nice and say that you'd still very much like to spend some time with them over the holidays, but your place just will not work.  Another thoughts is to have you DH tell them...brother to brother, that it's a tough time for your guys regarding IF and you need some alone time over the holidays.  You need to take care of yourself too!  My DH and I often ending up sucking it up too since we're the only one of our entire family (my fam is pretty big) without kids. good luck with the situation.    Happy Holidays!

renafaith

My sister, BIL and 2 nephews live in a 2 bedroom appt. I wouldn't dare go up there (just me and DH) and stay with them without asking first if it was ok, and if she told me no, I'd be totally ok with it. Truth be told, I'd rather stay in a hotel room than have 6 people in a 2 bedroom appt! I think your family should be a little more considerate. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

MrsP71506

Definitely not being a biotch.  I would feel the same exact way.  4 extra people in your house is a lot of people!  I am surprised that they even want to stay with you knowing that it will be crowded with 6 people and one bathroom.

And to top it off your SIL is being a total biotch!  This should be your time to relax in your place and not having to deal with company.  This could be a very very memorable holiday for you and I want it to be as stress free as possible for you!

Ughhh so sorry that you have to deal with this. 

Echloe

Your SIL is the biotch.

AletheaP

There's no way I would let them. I couldn't deal w/ that many people in such a small space, particularly is said space were mine. I'm weird like that. I'd tell them you'd love to see them over the holidays, but there just isn't room for them.

kkghotty

Um, they invited themselves to stay at your house?  And you are worried about saying no?  Say no!!!  That is ridiculous, not to mention that your SIL sounds like an insensitive, ungrateful biotch. 

schoolsoutbride

Had you not paid a bazillion dollars to go down there on short notice, I'd say suck it up, it's his family, blah blah blah.... but given that she's a total B!TCH and cost you money, she can cough it up for a hotel.

grazy

HELLLL NO!

albjag

No you're not being a biotch- tell them they cant stay.  if they visit theyll have to stay at a hotel- and you won't be able to entertain them.

Grrr.... 

psychmusetls

i don't think you are being a b!tch at all!!!  it's awfuly rude of them to assume that they can just crash at your place for an extended amount of time!  I would absolutely say no!