I suppose I"m at the point where I should out myself...*waves*
some of y'all know me. I've been a lurky-loo for a while.
We're seriously considering adopting at this point. I don't have good info on when because we've got some financial ducks to get in a row first--we're working on that. Worst case scenario, we'll basically be 100% debt free in 5 years w/ the changes in life we've been making. (right now we could afford a kid OR we could afford the cost of adopting/fert treatments. Not both)
We've been trying for kids for a while, between some of my health problems (migraine treatment is incompatible w/ TTC/PG, abstaining from treatment is incompatible with having a life and a job and functioning) and some fertility issues (Both of us), we think adoption is looking best. We have more-or-less decided against major fertility treatments ( There will probably be some wonking w/ my hormones in the near future, but that's as much a medical 'does this make your head hurt more or less?' test as it is for fertility) for us.
And we've thought about this long and hard. And we're goign to start really looking probably within a year. We're leaning (right now) toward domestic but we're not completely sold on one or another. We've considered going through the foster system and we're debating different sides of that right now. We're open re: races and we're debating our open-ness to ages right now too.
And eventually I have to buy the books y'all recommend and read 'em :-)
Re: I suppose I"m at the point where I should out myself...*waves*
My husband and I have been at the same point, actually I'm pretty sure we were in the exact same place about 6 months ago. The best piece of advice that was given to us was to be confident in our decision and never think about the "what ifs". For us, all we could do was pray about it and make the decision together. Best of luck!!!
Ashlie
Our Adoption Journey: www.fulmerstory.blogspot.com
Good luck with it all. Being a librarian I have to say Save your money and check the books out of the library and if you library does have it talk ot your librarian than usally can get them from another library for you. Just know you are trying ot save money as we all are since adoption is not cheap so use the library when you can!
Hey GB!
Can I ask you what migraine treatment you are doing? I feel all kindred with you b/c this is a reason we are considering adoption--I've never met another migraineur who might be in the same boat as me...I keep hearing, "There's a really good chance pregnancy would make your headaches better."
OR there's a chance I would be miserable for 9 months and want to kill myself and the spawn. (Yes, this sounds harsh but it's a true fear of mine!)
The migraine is it's own roller coaster...I'm quite willing to be an open book on it but I can rant about it for pages upon pages, so I'll try to stop myself and not repeat myself over and over again :-) But if I miss something, feel free to ask.
A bit over a year ago, we put TTC on hold to see one of the world's foremost experts in migrain pain (who told me there's about a 60% chance I'd be better if I got knocked up...and a 30% chance I'd get worse. and a 10% chance that there's no change. And for the record? with ZERO treatment, i have pain 24-7. Because my first migraine lasted 7 months.)--basically there was little they could initially offer us that was TTC safe. So we found a drug combination that works (mostly) for me--it involves corguard (beta blocker) 2x during the day and pamelor (which is an antidepressant w/ an off lable use for migraine treatments) @ night. I was only out for the count about 1 week a month total and I was able to take vicoden, vistiril, migrinal, NSAIDS, Indocrin, and a few other things as abortives for pain.
Then we went back to TTC and, recently, I've been taking a different beta blocker (labatalol) and Vistiril and/or benedryl for sleep (since lack of sleep = everything worse) and was allowed vicodin for pain, vistirl (which is NOT an effective pain med) for pain, and indocrine for nausea. And that leaves me in pain about 3 days out of every 7, with me REALLY bad (unable to leave the house or open my eyes w/o sunglasses) about 1.5 weeks/month.
Well, with the 'fun with fertility' as the icing on the cake, I asked the OB if my odds were 'bad' enough that, if I'm very careful about peeing on sticks, I can go back on the more effective drugs.--he said, yes. As long as I'm careful and stop everything as soon as I might be PG. My Neurologists, who have assured me over and over and over again that they'll work w/ women who are PG/BFing/etc apparently lied (they have a very low tolerance to not going along w/ everything in their program). SO my OB has perscribed, at least for now, my nurological drugs. And I'm working on finding a new neuro--because the old one doesn't know it yet but they're fired.
Honestly, we've tried a whole lotta treatments. And very little has worked for me. Triximet made me feel like myhead was popping off. I forget which drug it was that made my head and hands and feet go numb (although, for fun? facial numbness is a part of my normal biweekly migraines). Basically everything that 'works' for me is off lable. And we've poked every part of my head and tried things like biofeedback and the like with
Wow. Okay, well you are on a lot more than me, but we have some similar migraine traits. I have limb and face numbness, slurred speech, aura and basically some sort of neurological situation where I can't really put a coherent thought together. Add in the awesome barfing, and pain that can last up to 24 hours, and that's me.
I haven't had one that lasted months like you though...I would freak out. I started getting headaches at 7 (nope, that's not when I went live on the hormones!)
I'm just on Topamax, frova and Relpax..I got the same numbers as you did 60-30-10, but having talked to actual women who are neonatal nurses who have had babies--they have told me to that it can be worse--basically my friend said.."Oh yeah, they tell you that..." then raised her eyebrows at me. Which scared the crap out of me.
Topamax---you def. need to get off of for the pregnancy and breastfeeding...and you can't take relpax or frova either if you want a normal baby.
The whole thing just sort of freaks me out--honestly we aren't even at a TTC OR adoption stage quite yet--but we are at a talking stage--and I have "chatted" with my doctors. I have a pretty good handle on my headaches but..you probably know this, migraineurs can be control freaks--especially about their headaches. I'm not exactly sure I'm willing to give up my control over the headaches to welcome in another being into my life.
yeah, the control freak thing does get extreme...
I'm not one. But I am about this. I have an excel spreadsheet where I clock every pill that I take for the migraines and log my pain symtoms morning, afternoon, and evening every day--so I can tell you when I've taken basically every vicoden for 3 years--at least that comes in handy when a doc implies drug-seeking-behavior :_P
we're taking our time at making choices about migraines, about kids, about adopting. We're headed that way but...we're not there yet. Right now we're still at the "lets take things as they come and gets ome ducks in a row" stage--we'd like to be further but we have some $ issues to resolve first. I'd be willing to go off the drugs to get PG but...our odds aren't good w/o medical intervention. (our odds are excellent with medical intervention apparently). And I'd rather do adopton. But that's well into the personal moral quandry territory there :-P