Blended Families
vshadd00
member
Options
Step kids and christmas....
vshadd00
member
I am new over here but I thought this might be a good place to get advice. My DH has three kids, all of which are grown and have kids of their own. Him and his ex always had stockings for the kids. Well IMO this is not something that should be continued for several reasons. 1)"the kids" don't get into it. 2) it was a tradition that was part of their old routine. 3) its now or never, the grandkids are getting old enough to remember having them, so if we are going to stop, now is the time to do it. 4) It is a total count of 13 stockings. DH says that it would be unfair to have stockings for Myself, the new baby and him without including "the kids" I understand where he is coming from but...since we will never celebrate Christmas morning with "the kids"(they all want to be home for Christmas) I don't see it as being that big of a deal. Am I missing something?? I am not cutting them out of Christmas, just wanted to change tradition. Is there something I am not seeing here?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Step kids and christmas....
Why can't you just do stockings for the children? The grandchildren and your child. Do you REALLY need a stocking that much for yourself anyway?
My parents still do stockings for their kids and grandkids. They aren't anything fancy, just silly odds and ends. I think if they are WITH you Xmas morning, then at least the grandkids need to be included. But if they come over after presents, it should be ok to skip them (I'm assuming their parents will take on that role themselves though).
Its not like as grownups any of us really need a stocking. I think the jig is up, and we all know the "truth."
It is a tradition for them. It's a memory from their childhood. The stocking are up before and maybe a little after Christmas right. IMHO, It is such a small thing. If it were me, I would keep the stockings knowing how important it is to DH.
I should also note, that my family never did Stockings for Christmas, but DH's family did. It was an important tradition for him, so we have kept it up with DSS.
Why do you want to "change" this tradition?
It seems like it would be a very unsuccessful way to make your entrance into the family.
Be careful here ... these may be grownups but tradition is tradition, and for you to come into the family and decide that something should be changed is probably not going to fly.
I say accept their tradition and do not try to change it. You wouldn't want someone coming into your family and deciding something needs to be changed.
How about skip yourself and your H and do the kids and grandkids. Or, just do the grandkids, and your own child.
ETA-We still do stocking and we are all grown-up. There are no kids under the age of 14 and that is my SS. I would be sad to not have stockings on Christmas, it's a tradition.
Seriously?!? You honestly have a problem having stockings for your DH's children and especially grandchildren, but are ok to have them for YOU and YOURS?
What part of CHRISTmas do you NOT GET?!? I seriously doubt that Christ (you know, the reason for the season) would look kindly on such a spiteful act JUST BECAUSE.
And I say "just because", because your excuses are flimsy at best.
Yes, I am being snarky. Hell, I am just plain pissed off for your DH, his children, grandchildren and your child (what a wonderful role model you are for her).
You are not only showing a lack of common courtesy or common sense, but are warping the meaning of Christmas. And I feel sorry for everyone around you if you honestly feel this way.
Ilumine lol at Jesus will be p!ssed if you don't do Christmas stockings!!!
But Ilumine is right your mail really rubbed me the wrong way, you sound totally spiteful. It is their family tradition and you joined their family, traditions and all.
If money is tight then I understand doing something smaller for all but eliminating their tradition while carrying it on for you and your child, you have to see how wrong that is???
Xmas and the holidays throw up all sorts of twists and obstacles for BF but the important thing is to always put the children first.
My advice, get over yourself and don?t for one minute think your DH does not see this for what it really is.
Well, if you put it that way, yes, he would have an issue with the actual "gifts", but I was looking more at the attitude behind this.