Mixed feelings about first RE appt yesterday

ohiostategal

So I went to the ER appt yesterday with tons of questions and really excited about finally being with a dr that would give me all the info and that I trusted for moving forward.  I don't know how to explain it but I just didn't feel good about him. I knew he would want to get an HSG and a few other tests done first before we talked about our plan, I just felt like when I was asking questions he seemed annoyed.  I didn't feel comfortable with him.  DH thought it went well though he said he had no expectations coming in and also said he knows so much less about all this stuff.  

He comes very highly recommended.  One of the other partners at DH's law firm and his wife went through IF and the partner's mom is an RE at this main IF office in my town.  She recommended this RE to them because he is considered "the best" and has the highest success rate etc.  

We are going to go ahead with him and do the testing and see what the plan is etc.  We could always change to a different RE in the office later if I still don't feel comfortable.  I really don't know what I was expecting but I just left disappointed and really just down about all this.  

I guess the one shining moment was when he was talking about PCOS and said "but it looks like you don't have the weight problem associated with PCOS."  I had to point him to my records and the fact that I was obese but now in the normal range after working my a$$ off literally.  That felt really good.  

Anyone else felt unsure about their RE but ended up happy with them?

laure1122

I would say I am not 100% happy with my RE's office.  It really feels like a baby factory, hardly any personal attention, but they tell me it is the best around, and it is an 8 minute drive away, so I will continue to go there.  Also some of the doctors in the practice are much nicer than others, so it helps that I switched doctors and at least have a good one looking over my case.

st.augbride

I'm in a military system, so I don't have any say really in who I see, and it could be a different person each time. So, when I see all these posts about people head over heels in love with their RE, I just think...ahh, how nice that would be. But what it really comes down to is that you're with someone who is competent and making the right decisions. I need to get the HSG and dh needed the SA first too, so I'm hoping to have our plan discussion at the next appt after all that (still another 3 weeks).

However, the fact that your RE was annoyed with you asking questions is botrhersome... You should feel comfortable asking as many questions as you need. Maybe when you see him next, just come out and say "thanks so much. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I tend to ask a million questions. I like to understand what's going on and why." As an MD, he should respect that. However, if he still acts like a jerk after that, I'd consider switching.

njohnson1972

I had an appointment with my first RE last week.  I really liked him a lot.  But it is so expensive that I feel like I need to shop around.  There is another group here that is 1/3 the cost of this RE, plus they do guarantee programs.  So I have an appointment with an RE there next week.  I hope I like them as much.  If we have to do IVF multiples times OOP, I just want to make sure I have looked at all of my options.  Worse case, I really like the RE at the first place and will just have to spend more money.

Good luck.

jehnm

I'm currently going to one of the "best in the area" doctors.  I'm not sure how much longer I'll stick with him.  No one including him in his office likes you to ask questions and it all feels very rushed and impersonal.  I think they are better with you if you are doing IVF, but I'm not sure.  It's frustrating and I may be looking for a second opinion after the first of the year.  Oh, I should add, they always have the wrong chart when talking to me and they never remember anything about my situation and I always have to remind them that my right tube is blocked. 

Ruby_Tuesday

Yes.  I was quite unsure of my RE at first.  I've been seeing him now for 8 months and I'm very happy.  At my first few appointments I felt disappointed because he didn't seem interested in talking to me about my case.  He didn't want to see my charts.  He answered my questions but didn't seem terribly interested. 

Now I'm on my first IVF cycle and he knows everything about me, my history, and he's on top of how everything is progressing.  He also seems genuinly hopeful every cycle.

I guess it didn't matter so much to him where people came from. What matters to him is that they go through all of his testing so that he can see the big picture and then he's focused on the future and treating his patients and getting them pregnant.  I'm not sure if this makes any sense but it's the only way I can think of explaining it.

ohiostategal

Ruby_Tuesday:

Yes.  I was quite unsure of my RE at first.  I've been seeing him now for 8 months and I'm very happy.  At my first few appointments I felt disappointed because he didn't seem interested in talking to me about my case.  He didn't want to see my charts.  He answered my questions but didn't seem terribly interested. 

Now I'm on my first IVF cycle and he knows everything about me, my history, and he's on top of how everything is progressing.  He also seems genuinly hopeful every cycle.

I guess it didn't matter so much to him where people came from. What matters to him is that they go through all of his testing so that he can see the big picture and then he's focused on the future and treating his patients and getting them pregnant.  I'm not sure if this makes any sense but it's the only way I can think of explaining it.

This makes perfect sense and is really what I am hoping will happen.  I am hoping that once he gets the rest of the test I need and we meet to discuss our plan, I will feel much better about him.  

ked1068

You've got PM! 

ohiostategal

ked1068:

You've got PM! 

I PM'd you back.