Update re: not moving up to toddler class...
audrey79
member
So I spoke more with the teacher and the center director today. They said that since DS has a history of biting that hasn't really gotten any better, they really do feel it's in his best interest to stay behind for a little while. You see, he's been "the biter" since July of this year. Since July, he would bite on average, of twice a week... since July!!!! This was no surprise, in fact, we had a conference about the biting issue last month. At this conference, they showed us the bite log they were keeping and they identified some trends/patterns to his biting. It was pretty clear the the times he bit, the room was crowded and noisy. Staying in his current class means that there will only be 1 teacher and 4 kids in there on M, W, F, and 2 teachers / 6 kids on T, Th. That is NOT a lot of kids and is actually the smallest class. The Toddler room has a minimum of 8 kids and a max of 12 depending on the day. DOUBLING his class size will mean more kids, noise, and chaos... and according to their bite log/investiation, he is almost guaranteed to bite if he goes in there now.
I showed up unannounced today for lunch w/my DS> He was playing in the room and there were only 4 kids in there. The other 3 were all between 18-20 months and were SO tiny compared to him. He's big for his age to begin with, but next to the other 3 kids in his class, he looked like a giant kindergartener. They also aren't that verbal and they require assistance with eating lunch, nap time, etc. My DS can eat with utensils and walks straight to his mat for naptime.
Part of me is happy that he's in a small, quiet class and can get a lot of attention. But another part of me thinks that he might lose out on learning because the more verbal children are in the toddler class already. The daycare is pretty set on keeping him in pre-toddler until Jan., although they are giving me the rate for the toddler class (only $25 cheaper a month). They really think his biting will 100% go away if he's in a class that is small and quiet. When it DOES go away for good, they''ll move him up. DH doesn't think it's a big deal and HE thinks I'm overreacting. His stance is, "at least we're getting a tuition discount and he's in a small class where he gets more attention..." I'm still a little irritated by all this, but I guess I"m just going to have to move on, that's what DH and the daycare center want...
Re: Update re: not moving up to toddler class...
It says a lot of postive things about your parenting that you followed up so closely with the daycare. At this juncture I would move on, it's only a month away, and not worth a big battle, IMO.
At our daycare centre, they routinely move up younger children that they feel are more "ready". I feel they do have my children's best interests at heart and believe what they tell me.
Well, I think that is good they have really paid attention to it and can identify the trigger. They are also showing you that it is not a matter of someone else taking his spot by giving you the discount. He would probably do best in a small class with older kids, but this sounds like the best compromise they can make for you right now. Maybe you can suggest that he get to visit the toddler room to help with the transition if they are so concerned with it. When we were in a center they definitely had the kids spend some afternoons in their new rooms before the move date.
That was an insensitive comment. It's not like your little angel won't ever do anything wrong either.
Waiting a month is really not a big deal. We've had to wait longer than that and I can always find a positive about it. He always loved his teachers so I felt like he was getting a little more time with that teacher. I think what concerns me most about what you wrote is that the didn't address what they are doing to stop him from biting. My son bit twice and it never happened again because the teachers learned how to identify the behavior that caused it and put a stop to it. The fact that he has bitten twice a week and they just write it down but don't take any steps to address it is very strange to me. My sons toddler class (18-27 months) had up to 20 kids in it, but there are 4 teachers and it is very well organized so there is no time when it's crowded and noisy and a teacher wouldn't be able to stop a kid from biting. I think you should talk to them about ways you can work with them to get the biting to stop regardless of what class he is in.