maybe I'm not ready for #2 — The Bump
Secondary IF

maybe I'm not ready for #2

i may actually be ovulating (didn't take an opk or have u/s just based on other symptoms tmi) and for some reason i'm not very excited...normally I'd be jumping off the roof because i rarely ovulate.

 

maybe i'm scared - maybe i'm not ready. i don't know. i feel hormonal and

b!tchy today for some reason. boo.

 

i feel guilty for even posting this. i don't know what is wrong with me.

I got pregnant with PCOS after many years of IF! Thank you Lord! Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
m/c 11/2/09
image
*in da bag so far: D90|nikon 18-200|50mm f/1.8|sb700*

Re: maybe I'm not ready for #2

  • I see you recently had a loss. It's not uncommon to have those feelings after something like that. I've been there - 4 times.
  • Sweetheart you just went through a loss.  Give yourself a break (((HUGS))).  You are still healing!
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • I was going to say the same as the PP's. You had a loss and you may have some fear, etc. It's normal and okay, ease up on yourself!
    Our Girls
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Aquinnah Dori
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • ditto everyone else - i'm so sorry for your loss!
  • While I agree with PP - perhaps you feel like I do when the realization really sets in for a "chance" like HOLY SH!T THIS COULD BE REAL! And then I get really anxiety filled with all of these feelings of ..... not worthLESSness but "not worthy enough-ness" and feelings of "what if I don't love my subsequent children the way I love Rhayna" or "What if she's always a little more special because she was #1" or "Do I really have what it takes to pull of 2, 3, 4?" or "Maybe I'm just really good at faking being a good mom - maybe I'm not a good mom".....

    Every single insecurity surfaces with the prospect of success for me. Its so different for me this time around - last time I just wanted the CHANCE TO BE A MOM and now I know what being a mom is like and that adds a whole new layer to the stress, excitement, anxiety, worry, fear, joy....

    Just my 2 cents.
  • yeah i think it's a little of what you all said - i guess i thought i was doing just fine. thanks for letting me vent.
    I got pregnant with PCOS after many years of IF! Thank you Lord! Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    m/c 11/2/09
    image
    *in da bag so far: D90|nikon 18-200|50mm f/1.8|sb700*
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