- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Infertility
psychmusetls
member
emotionally tapped out
psychmusetls
member
in Infertility
I?m at work, but I need to get this out.
Last night, as DH and I were going to bed, he was sweet and sincere. He told me how much he loved me and how much he admired me for doing everything I do so that we can have a family. He also said that it tears him apart to see me in so much pain ? emotionally and physically. He?s praying that this FET ends in a BFP, not only for our family, but so he doesn?t have to see me go through anymore torment. I totally lost it.
This morning was 7dp5dt and another stark white BFN. I was upset, but didn?t really let it show. Yes I am upset. Yes, I know it?s still a little early. But my cramps are changing and I?m starting to think AF is on her way L I was laying in bed (letting the crinone soak in lol) when DH got out of the shower, and I saw him pick up the test and squint and tilt in the light. .. it broke my heart. Why can?t I make him a daddy? Why can?t I give him a family?
After he left, I lost it and continued to cry my entire commute to work. I pulled into my parking spot and pulled it together. I looked like hell, I?m really surprised no one said anything.
If this cycle is a BFN, I have to take a break. I don?t know how long. But I can?t take it. I am beyond my capacity ? physically and emotionally.
If anyone can spare some hope, please throw it my way. Thanks for listening.
S/PAIFW
Tara & Dave - TTC since September 2006
PCOS - dx 1999 (amenorrhea) | freakishly long fallopian tubes
Hypoglycemic | thyroid issues | severely anemic
Multiple Clomid cycles of 50, 100, 150 - absolutely no response
Follistim 50/100 | Follistim 75/125 | Follistim 100/150 IUI - all BFNs
Converted IVF - BFP - m/c | FET - BFN | IVF #2 = BFN
IVF #3
Tara & Dave - TTC since September 2006
PCOS - dx 1999 (amenorrhea) | freakishly long fallopian tubes
Hypoglycemic | thyroid issues | severely anemic
Multiple Clomid cycles of 50, 100, 150 - absolutely no response
Follistim 50/100 | Follistim 75/125 | Follistim 100/150 IUI - all BFNs
Converted IVF - BFP - m/c | FET - BFN | IVF #2 = BFN
IVF #3
This discussion has been closed.
Re: emotionally tapped out
((((Hugs))))
I am sorry things are not working out, unfortunately their isn't anything you can do to make the pain go away. It sounds like a break might do some good and hopefully pick your spirits up a little bit and you give you the strength to try again.
i'm so sorry - i know how you feel...
for me, every night I pray that God not only makes me a mother but gives me the chance to make my husband a father and my parents grandparents...my heart aches for me, but it also aches in that i can't fulfill their dreams either...DH loves children and my mother has wanted nothing more than a grandchild since we got married over 4 years ago...two years ago, even my dad, who never talks about these things started dropping hints...
they were so ecstatic a year ago (almost to the day) when we told them we were having twins....it hurts knowing that, as much as it hurts not getting pg month after month and just not understanding how this is so difficult for us....
i'm sorry honey. i'll be sending all the prayers and good vibes and baby dust that i've got.
nothing wrong with taking a break to rest and re-group. i know you'll get your BFP soon, whether it's this cycle or after a break. hang in there!
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I am so sorry you're having such an emotionally difficult time. This can still work out just give it alittle more time.
Sometimes we forget that our DH's are going through as much emotional turmoil as we are. It's great to have a strong and supportive spouse.
((((HUGE HUGS))))
oh hon i am so sorry you are going through this and i truly pray you get your bfp this cycle.
it sounds like you have an amazing husband. i know i faced a lot of the same feelings of "why can't i give him a child" and he would get mad at me for blaming myself.
big hugs, and sending all my hope and vibes and penguins and whatever else it takes your way.
I'm so sorry sweetie. I know that I have had many days like that. Just last week actually. It sucks. I'm going to hold out hope for you that you have a late implanter. There is still a chance. That is why they tell you not to test before beta. Hang in there!!!
And if it does turn out to be a BFN (crossing everything that it isn't) then a break will do you good. And we'll be here to support you.
BIg Giant ((HUGS)) coming your way, this process is unbelievably draining and I'm so sorry that it's taking it's toll on you. ?
It isn't over yet honey, you do still have a chance and I will be sending all the vibes I've got that you get a good beta on Friday. ?Just try and get through each day right now, worry about tomorrow - tomorrow.?
I just want you to know that you are not the only one who feels this way. I don't want to speak for all the ladies on hear but, I know that I have been in that same dark place as you.. I am constantly asking myself why is this keep happening ( 3 BFN"S) to us and why does this have to be so hard. IF TOTALLY SUCKS! I am sending you some positive vibes and hugs right now...
I'm so sorry and wish there was more I could say to help you get through this pain. I'm sorry this is being really difficult for you, but hang in there still. It still is early! We're all praying and hoping you get that BFP very soon!
(((BIG HUGS))) to you!
Oh hon, your post has brought tears to me eyes
I am so so sorry that you are feeling this way. I think it is a bad IF day, because I am feeling in the dumps about everything too.
I really hope that it is just too early and that you get the BFsP that you deserve.
Sending you a BIG HUG
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
((HUGS))
IF is exhausting, so let us continue to have the hope for you. All of this is so unfair, I wish it could be easier . . . unfortunately, no one said life would be fair or easy so you just have to do what's right for you and your DH. I really hope this is your BFP. If not, maybe a little break to focus on you and your DH will help.
Again, ((HUGS))
Tara - I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Still hoping for a BFP for you...I am sure it is so difficult to see the white test. You still have some time though...don't throw this cycle away until you are sure.
As for emotionally tapped out - I hear you. After both of my BFN IVF's I needed to take a break. I wasn't sure if I could go through it again. And, eventually, I was ready to move forward once again. So, take a break if you need it - you'll know when you are ready again.
Lots of hugs...and hope you have a good holiday too.
Me: PCOS/Amenorrhea DH: Azoospermia due to Y Chromosome Micro Deletion IVF w/ ICSI on hold until further notice
Hope
Well, I really hope this is it for you don't have to worry about what to do next. It is early and it is very possible that the HPT isn't reading yet. That said, if this isn't it for you there's nothing wrong with taking a break.
It sounds like you have a wonderful DH. I can understand how seeing him look at that HPT would just break your heart. I would and have felt the same way. It's a lot for anyone to handle.
Hugs to you. I'm sending you all of the best wishes I've got.
Oh T, I'm sending you all the hope I have (it's quite a lot, I'm annoyingly full of hope) and I'll send you some ((((HUGS))))) too.
Praying that your get your BFsP and your hope is restored.
GL
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!
James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!
Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!
I'm so sorry. Maybe a break will do you some good, and give you a chance to rebuild yourself, emotionally and physically. *sending truck loads of hope your way* Hang in there!! *hugs*
(((BIG HUGS))) Sending you lots of positive vibes!
I am so sorry that you are going through this. IF just sucks. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
((HUGS)))
IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13