Do your parents buy gifts "for their house only"?

TheNextWest · November 2009

This drives me crazy and we go thru it EVERY year. My step-mom wants to buy the kids these toys and movies, etc. for Xmas, but they have to leave them at their house. Then of course, they open them, love them, and then have a meltdown when she says they can't take any of it with them when we go. And have another meltdown everytime they are over there and have to leave without it again. I don't get it! Why does she have to be so difficult?! I get wanting to have toys at her own house for them, but don't use their "gifts" to accomplish that. That's not fair and little ones don't understand. Uuuuuggh.

Am I the only one dealing with this?

goodheartedmommy · November 2009

Both sets of grandparents do this. I'm okay with it because we have more than enough toys as it is. The kids spend quite a bit of time at their homes (at least once per week). Of course, if they want to bring something home, they can, but it's usually not an issue. I'd be thoroughly annoyed if they weren't allowed to bring it home if they wanted to. Next time, I would say "sure, we can take it home. Let's make sure we bring one of your toys from home next time to replace it here."

~Kat~ · November 2009

ILs got the grandkids a train table to keep at their house. Fortunately though, since it was for all of them they understood that it stayed at Nana and Papa's house.

I can't imagine having DS open something and then telling him that he had to leave it there! That is rude and mean, IMO.

Halo79RN · November 2009

no.. but we don't live near family. I could see both sets of parents just letting them take it home if they wanted and we could bring it back later. why are they refusing to let them take them home? unless it's huge like a kitchen or a bed for their house or a bike or something, I don't get it?

jessicaclare · November 2009

My Dad's GF keeps trying to get him to do this and he won't. I think its odd. I honestly don't really think its a gift if you aren't going to let the child have it and play with it when they want.

knmommy · November 2009

That sucks, I don't think that is fair.

KrisBriMcBunny · November 2009

my parents do this and honestly its a good idea. We did this with my older kids too. there was never a meltdown....they knew they were special toys for grandma's house. They dont do it with all the gifts they give....just a select few.

I should add that my kids were at my parents house 2-3 times a week.

katie277s · November 2009

No thank goodness. Whenever they buy gifts, its for L to take with him. Sometimes they will buy the same things we have at home, so they can play with them at their house, but they never buy him Christmas presents and then not let him take them home.

hopefulmom · November 2009

I'm with KrisBriMcBunny on this. I agree that your child(ren) should learn that some toys stay at the grandparent's house. That way they are 'special" to play with ONLY at their house. I know it's always been the case when our older kids were little. It was never an issue...they realized that they would get to play with them when they visited again. I don't think ALL gifts from your IL's should stay there...but most.

Don't you have enough toys at your house? Do you expect your IL's to buy even more toys to keep at their home?

TheNextWest · November 2009

My mom does it with a few select toys, i.e. Petshop. She wanted to start getting Petshop stuff for DD1 and I didn't really want all the little things at my house so we agreed it would be something she got her that she only played with at her house. And that's been fine. DD occasionally asks to bring one or two home and we either let her, and agree to bring it back later, or tell her she has to leave it there so she can play with it next time.

But my step-mom wants to do it with EVERYTHING. My not-quite-3-yr-olds are not going to understand why someone gave them a toy, and then essentially, took it away.

TheNextWest · November 2009

hopefulmom:

I'm with KrisBriMcBunny on this. I agree that your child(ren) should learn that some toys stay at the grandparent's house. That way they are 'special" to play with ONLY at their house. I know it's always been the case when our older kids were little. It was never an issue...they realized that they would get to play with them when they visited again. I don't think ALL gifts from your IL's should stay there...but most.

Don't you have enough toys at your house? Do you expect your IL's to buy even more toys to keep at their home?

It's not that I expect them to buy more for their house, and of course the kids will have plenty to play with after Xmas. I just don't think it's fair to do that to a 2 year old. And I don't think you should give a gift to someone, particularly to a child, and then dictate what they do with it. I would probably choose to leave most of the toys there anyway, but the fact that she is telling me we have to makes me angry, lol.

hopefulmom · November 2009

To do it with every gift is kind of werid and mean. As long as a child has a couple of things to take home that they've opened that should be enough to keep them happy...the rest can stay at grandma's. To make them keep EVERY gift there will lead to meltdowns.

Chrisy-Wyobride · November 2009

I think it's totally lame & would never do that to my kid. We have a vacation home & keep toys there. But I choose older toys & pack them in a box (when the kids aren't around) & bring them up...then they are all excited by OLD toys. If they want to bring any of them home, I let them. It's no big deal! I think giving a kid a toy as a GIFT & then an hour away saying they can't have it anymore is mean.