I seriously need advice.... (long but w/ paragraphs and punctuation)
fauxshelley
member
I am already stressing about Christmas bc I am worried that Douchebag and his family will buy for Pumpkin and not for Jackson. Not a single one of them bought him anything for his birth (knowing that I was going through a divorce and had to start over with new baby stuff bc MIL had borrowed Pumpkin's baby furniture and then gave it away). I mean not a single diaper, or a onesie or even a card came when Jack was born so it is not that farfetched to think that Christmas will be the same way. I should mention that I routinely email pics and videos of Jackson to his parent and sisters (not to DB), but they never respond.
They showered Pumpkin with gifts for her birthday (which was nice) but I am afraid that she will get a ton of presents for Christmas from them and Baby Jack will get nothing. The thought of this drives me crazy! I may go postal on them if this happens. This is his first Christmas, and it should be special and his family should acknowledge it as such. I have thought about dropping Pumpkin?s presents off at their house and telling them off ? but this may not be the best thing to do. I am thinking emotionally instead of rationally. But the point is that I will not put up with that kind of behavior from them - not now or in the future. I want to make that VERY CLEAR to them.
What would you do if one child was showered with gifts and the other child completely left out?
(Background - Married for almost 11 yrs, divorced when I found out I was pg w/ Jack bc Douchbag wanted me to abort and I chose not to. DB told me he would have nothing to do with the baby and that he didn't want him. He wasn't present at his birth and has only seen baby (3x) when he comes over to pick up our daughter for visitation.)
Re: I seriously need advice.... (long but w/ paragraphs and punctuation)
I'm not sure if this is even the best advise to give you, but forgive me if I make matter worse or it seems unreasonable or just plain out unfair.
First of all, I too have gone through this same situation with a sibling of mine. My parents were married but my father cheated on my mom and got another lady pregnant. Of course his side of the family praised and adored "the brother" and never once gave me attention let alone a single "anything" (yes to this day @ the age of 33 I still resent that fact.) But to make a longer story short.......I have learned to just let it go and that no matter what I do or say is going to change the minds of other people if that is how they feel about me and choose not to be a part of my life, then I too don't need them in my life!
JUST LET IT GO!!! Baby Jack is still little and may not ever have the recollection of being left out and also your daughter, being older may see that she is getting all the gifts and attention and may even resent that side of the family for it because looking at the picture you have posted, she loves her lil' brother to death! Her seeing that they don't do for her brother, she may too eventually not want to receive from that family.
Again LET IT GO!!!! Things will work out for the best!!!
So, this thing of a man (sorry) sees his daughter but not his son? I really don't know how people live with themselves.
I agree with Ms. Monica. You can't change people. And I would also think your daughter will eventually see what is going on and say something to him herself. I would let it go. At least Jack won't notice for at least this year and next.
There's no easy answer for this truly horrible situation, except hopefully there's a special place in hell for DB fathers.
I would not accept gifts for either child. You can't force his family to be involved with your DS, but you can set a good example of what a true family is for your daughter. She'll grow up one day and realize that material things are not the most important things in life, but having good morals and values is.
Good luck!
I wouldn't be able to just "let it go". It's not fair to your DS, and eventually he will see the favoritism.
This situation may be slightly different, but I was raised by my mom and stepdad. My mom and stepdad eventually had two sons together who are 9 and 11 years younger than I am. Growing up I DREADED holidays at my stepdad's mom's house. She never included me, never remembered my birthday, always bought gifts for my brothers for Christmas and birthdays and nothing (or something obviously small and really cheap) for me. It was like I didn't exist.
No, I was not her biological granddaughter, but I had been part of that family since I was less than 2 years old!
Eventually I was old enough to realize that she was the one with the problem-not me and I was able to let it go, but it was pretty tough as a 6,7,8,9,10 year old to understand why I was treated so differently from everyone else. I used to wish the ground would open up and swallow me when I was around her.
Please set the record straight with these people immediately. Accept no gifts for either children until they can be fair to both children. Even though your DS is young and doesn't understand right now, someday he will.
My mom never "stuck up" for me, and I think she should have. She has in later years, but it doesn't matter to me now because I'm an adult who chooses not to be around step grandmother. I haven't seen her for quite a few years, and she has never met my children.