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NBR~ Issue with neighbor kid and mother

nikalinanikalina
in 3rd Trimester

I don't know what to do.  I am very vocal, but in this issue I feel so bad that I cannot voice it.

There is a woman who is single with 2 kids that lives next door.  She is a drunk.  Her oldest son gets on my last nerve.  He is disrespectful, mean and has tried to steal my boys' stuff.  My boys dont play with him anymore since he is mean.  He is not allowed in my house when they did play together since he doesn't listen to me or help pick up bedrooms after they are done playing

I feel bad for the kid since he has no parenting.  

So today we get home from basketball and weren't even home 3 minutes when there is a knock on the door.   My 6 yo was like " mom Brendan is here"  He opens the door and the kid is like " can I ride your bike?  Mine was stolen."  Then I hear his retarded mother talking.  So I go to the door.  She literally said the following:  I was going to leave a note on your door that Brendan borrowed one of the bikes so that he has something to do today"  WTF?  I was speechless.  Granted we do have an extra bike but that isn't the point.

So here is my question:  Should I just let him have the bike since we don't have any use for it?  I am just afraid that she will think that we will give her stuff whenever we get a sob story from them.  I just couldn't believe that she had a note in her hand that she was going to attach to my door and take the bike.  

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Re: NBR~ Issue with neighbor kid and mother

  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member
    I may be a b!tch for saying this but I'd say something to her about it. I'd tell her she may not take things without express permission. but if they want the bike I'd sell it for cheap since I have no need for it (just to show that you wont just give them things.)
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  • ablouablou member

    imageAshleyMichelle06:
    I may be a b!tch for saying this but I'd say something to her about it. I'd tell her she may not take things without express permission. but if they want the bike I'd sell it for cheap since I have no need for it (just to show that you wont just give them things.)

    Yes 

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  • Celiarh1Celiarh1
    I agree with PPs! Thats insane that mother would do that! I know she wouldn't be okay with it if it was the other way around.
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  • jhenry1204jhenry1204 member

    I would talk to the mother.  Than explain to her that he may BORROW the extra bike, but if he has to come and ask each and every time.  The first time he just takes it, the bike will be put away and he will not be allowed to use it.  And I would also make this quite clear to him.

     Coming from dysfunctional families sucks.  You don't learn some of the social skills that you need.  You learn only what your parents teach you, and they usally aren't teaching you the right skills.  Though it's not your place to teach these to him, if he would like to use your stuff he needs to respect you, your family, and your rules. 

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  • lvmomjbjlvmomjbj
    Honestly, I would tell her what the PP have said. Each time he wants to use it, he MUST ask to borrow it and he must bring it back each time. I understand sob stories, and i'm all for helping those in need, but the mom sounds like she feels entitled. Leaving a note for taking a bike that is not yours? NOT COOL. And her excuse so that he can have something to do all day? Why dont you entertain your own kid?? I'd make sure to point out that instead of using all my money for alcohol, I'd buy my son toys to play with. Geez. But that is probably just my pregnancy hormones talking.
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  • SeaStar430SeaStar430 member

    Absolutely no way would I let the kid have the bike.

    Your use of the word "retarded" is probably not going to go over well, just a heads up, that's pretty offensive.

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  • nikalinanikalina

    If the word retarded offended I am sorry.  I should have used slow.  I think his mom is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.  And or drunk.  This kid lacks any social skills or manners.  He walked into my house and went to my closet in the mud room and started going through it.  I would kill my kids if they did that.  I told him to get out of the closet since that is where DH keeps his tools.  His mom said nothing.

    I guess part of me pities the child and the other part wants to teach him some manners.  But again not my kid.  

    I like the idea of allowing him to borrow it and not giving it to him.  It has been 4 hours and the bike is still with him.  I feel bad cuz his new bike was stolen.  He had to sell his PS2 in order to get that bike.  The bike he had before was a starter bike.  This kid is 8 and was WAY to big for it.  I just couldn't believe mom wouldn't buy him one.  I asked her why she didn't have a lock for the bike and she replied oh well those are like 10 dollars.  No kidding.  Don't buy alcohol for the night.  

    Thanks for the advice ladies

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