Upstate NY Babies

t & p's, and advice needed

I really need some help on this issue, I'm so worried and don't know what to do.

  My 22 year old sister just found out 3 weeks ago that she's pregnant. She was noticing her stomach was tight, and so they gave her an u/s to see how far along she was (she was thinking 3 months at most). It turns out she's 6 months along, at 28 weeks!

  I am so nervous and scared for her baby. I know she'll turn out to be a great mom, (although I have concerns about the dad, at least he is stepping up) She's a college student though, she's been drinking and enough to get drunk a few times. Not multiple times a week, but often enough. Also, she was diagnosed with add, and has been taking adderoll.

   She feels so embarrassed and ashamed about the whole situation. I don't want her to, I want her to be able to feel the same happiness I felt when I was pregnant with Thomas, but I don't know how to help. She feels horrible that she drank and everything, and that she was on the meds. My mom and I were going to make her a little care package, maybe a yankee onesie and a baby book to start helping her feel better.

  I'm just so worried about my nephew (they found out its a boy). I'm really scared.

   She's in the albany area right now, going to SUNY Albany. She'll be there until the middle of dec, only a month before her due date. Is there a really good doctor or a good place she could get set up at, in case something happened? I thought Albany med was a good hospital from my experiences, but I don't know how it is for l&d. I think at the moment she was using St. Peter's. Does either have a really good NICU?

  thank you guys so much for listening to this. any advice is greatly appreciated!

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Re: t & p's, and advice needed

  • Pregnancy #2 wasn't planned...and I drank a few times and wasn't taking any prenatals. I also felt a lot of guilt over this - not to mention how hard we tried and planned for DS...and how we didn't for DD. So while my situation is very different...I'm sure everyone with a suprise second guesses their actions.

    To be honest - there probably isn't much you can do to take away embarassment or worry. I would just be there for her and show her that her baby will be such a welcomed addition to your family. Maybe express excitement to her over how your two babies will be so close in age and grow up really close.

    She should get set up with prenatal care through an OBGYN ASAP...don't worry about a hospital, the OB will help her with all of that.

    I hope things work out for her!! My oldest nephew was born as a suprise to my 17yo brother....and he is so awesome and really changed my family for the better.

  • I think AMC has one of the nest NICUs arond -
    Check out the 5th or 6th bullet down.

    I had a good experience at AMC both times.  I had a private room and I was told it is rare to have to share.  

    I have had a lot of friends who recommended Clark & Clemens in Latham.  My Drs were the AMC Women's Wellness Center in Latham, and I had a really good experience with them as well.

    GL and keep us posted.

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  • Albany Med has the highest level NICU in the area.  If there a reason to think the baby may need treatment or come early it's probably best she find a doctor that delivers there.  Otherwise, St. Peter's has a great NICU as well and is only a few blocks from Albany Med should she or the baby need to be transferred.



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  • BTW that show "didn't know I was pregnant" - the women have no idea they are pregnant and they go into labor and have the baby - no prenatal care and they drank or smoke etc - and the babies are fine.  Hopefully everything works out.
  • Thoughts and prayers coming your sister's way...I am sure that everything will be fine.  Our parents most likely did not follow all of the rules of the current day, and we all turned out fine.  Positive thoughts for the remainder of the pregnancy and the baby boy to be healthy.
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  • I'm sorry I have no advice but I agree, focus on the positive- the care package is a nice idea and continue to support her when she needs you.  I'll keep you all in my thoughts.   

  • T&P headed your family's way.  I don't know what you can do to help her, but just be there tp listen.  And I think it is great to help her get excited!
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