North Carolina Babies

Baptism and Church/Religion help (long)

We don't belong to a church.  (well, officially we do, we joined a church in the area and got married there, but don't attend anymore and don't want to attend there)

We want to get DD baptised, but would prefer to not have godparents.  We don't come from religious families, so if we were to pick godparents, we'd either be picking family members who wouldn't really uphold the full godparent role...or we'd pick random people who are involved w/ church but aren't super close to us. 

I'm kinda lost here.  I grew up Catholic, and am no longer, but that's all I know.  What religions baptise w/o godparents?  Maybe I need to investigate those types of churches in the Triangle.  I would like to join a congregation - attend maybe 1 Sunday a month to bring religion into DD's life, but not be a huge part.  We need to ease in slowly (we didn't do well at our last church, b/c after we joined, they kept trying to get us to join a TON of groups - bible study, alpha group, practically every day of the week there was something that they wanted us to join - and that pushiness scared us off).  We're just not 'churchy' but I really do want to go occasionally, hear a good message, and teach DD the basics.  It'd be fun to introduce her to Sunday school, and the children's ministries.

Ideally, I'd like to find a church w/ an infant room (I'd prefer her to be with us rather than in the daycare during the service, esp. during flu season).  I know most Catholic churches have a cry room, but not sure about non-Catholic.

Also, coming from a Catholic background, I have a hard time with the super contemporary "stadium-seating" type churches.  I think DH and I agree we're looking for something like Methodist, Presby, etc. - kinda traditional, but not Catholic. 

Oh gosh, I sound so confused, huh?  LOL!  It seems, based on my internet research, that I might be asking for something that doesn't exist.  Is anyone else out there confused and searching like me?  I know ECU posted something about religion and searching a few weeks ago.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading.  Any advice is appreciated!!  =)

Re: Baptism and Church/Religion help (long)

  • I could have written this exact post. My neighbor suggested Hope Lutheran. Her DH is strict Catholic but her son goes to preschool there and they have attended services. She said she really enjoys it (more so than the Catholic church they belong to). We got into pretty much what you posted, about the baptism, etc. and that is how she came to suggest that church. She said you just leave there feeling good.
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  • I have similar issues too. I grew up Catholic and DH did not. I enjoy going to church, but there are a lot of things about Catholicism that I disagree with and I would feel better about attending church regularly if DH and I could find something we were both comfortable with. Friends have suggested Episcopal churches for us but we have yet to actually attend a service. It is kind of intimidating to just up and go to a service where you know no one.

    For baptism purposes I was toying with the idea of using the same non-denominational minister who married us to do some sort of a blessing for Luke. I don't want to baptize him into a specific religion as I think it should be his choice to join a church when he is older. But I do want to celebrate his birth and introduce to him to religion in some way as a child. I got a lot out of church in my youth and don't want him to miss out on those experiences.

    So I know what you're going through! Let us know if you find a place!

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  • As far as I know, Catholics churches are the only churches that require godparents. (But someone please correct me if I'm wrong.) I grew up Methodist and they definitely didn't require godparents.

    I think that one of the best ways to avoid the pressure of joining activities is to join a larger church where you can get "lost in the crowd" if you want to. I used to be against mega churches, but once I joined one, I realized that it offered chances to get lost in the crowd or be as involved as I wanted to.

    Some churches offer a "family room" during their services. Hope Community Church on Buck Jones Rd. does. You can put your child in the nursery, or you can sit in a sound-proof room at the back of the church. It has windows that allow you to see everything going in and they have speakers so you can hear the service, but no one can hear your baby if she starts crying.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. I definitely understand that it's a hard decision to make.

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  • i'm catholic so i cant exactly recommend a church, but i can tell you from a close friend in college who was a vicor(sp?) at a luthern church he would describe lutheran as being Catholic Lite. It is simliar in ways to catholicism but i think some of their teachings may be a little different (particularly transubstantiation). I can get a recommendation from another friend for local luthernan churches. i will ask a few non catholic friends to see where they go and ask them about their parish.

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  • Just an FYI - I grew up Lutheran and DH is Catholic and I see Lutheran as Catholic w/ out all the "other stuff" (Vatican, confession, everyone can take communion... I personally see it as a little more inclusive. But that's just me and my issues :) )It's still more traditional than contemporary (I have the same feelings about contemporary services...)

    Can you wait on the baptism until you settle into a new church, or at least figure out what you're going to be? The ceremony might mean more then. 

  • We got Allie baptised at David's parents' church, United Methodist.  David went when he was younger, so he was still a member.  They do not require godparents at all, but ask if you want them.  I don't think a lot of churches actually require godparents.

     The nondemoniational church we go to, doesn't do baptism... but they do a baby dedication.  You may want to look into that.  We would have done that, but David's parents wanted us to get her baptised there, so we did.  We will not be raising her in that church or United Methodist actually.  But I more see a baptism as a baptism... not tied to that specific church.

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  • You could always get her dedicated instead.  My siblings and I were dedicated (we were raised Nazarine) and then made the decision to get baptized when we were older and it was our choice (or at least my mom pushing me into it at 14).  No godparents. 
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  • I too believe Catholic churches are the only church that require godparents with baptism. I was raised Methodist and think that the church is similar to catholic churches in that they have a lot of "rituals" (i.e. communion, readings, etc), but not so strict. They have fairly open values which I like. That is the kind of church we will be going to ...that is when we find a church we like (or should I say have time to look for a church?! :)
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  • Thanks everyone for the input.  It helps me to hear ideas (and see that others are just as confused as I!)  I'll update if/when we figure out what in the heck we want to do - lol!
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