Brief backgound: DH works exclusively from home (for years now), which has it's challenges for us, but is mostly an amazing opportunity for our family. He is a software developer, and his job is more task-completion based than an 8 to 5 kind of deal. So, he has a lot of flexibility with his time, he just needs to meet certain project deadlines. He does roughly keep his work hours from 8:30 to 5.
This allows him tremendous flexibility, and he is wonderful at helping out at home. He generally gets DD dressed in the a.m. while I shower, sometimes he makes lunch for us. If he has some down time during his day, he may clean up the kitchen or something. So he's fantastic, and I so appreciate the help.
Here's my question. DH pretty much takes a nap every single day. Weird, or no? I think it's a little strange for a grown person to take a 1.5+ hour nap everyday. I mean, shouldn't he be getting enough sleep at night? But he insists that anyone who had the opportunity would do the same. I disagree, b/c I pretty much have the opportunity every day while DD naps, but I rarely do. I'm not much of a napper, though. I may watch TV or be on the computer, or sometimes I have things I need to get done or projects I'm working on (like the baby's nursery stuff).
I'm kind of used to it, but sometimes I resent it a bit, b/c I feel like, why wouldn't he just get his work finished -- early if that's the case -- and be available to help with DD so I can start dinner? Because sometimes it will be 5:30, and he's still working, and I get mad thinking --why did you take a 2 hour nap, if now you have to work late? And, I don't know, it just seems a bit odd. And I'm not sure if it's a health concern? Like he's sleeping too much? I just don't know any other adults who nap everyday (at least in this country!) DH points to other countries where afternoon naps are common, and workplaces even shut down in the p.m. for people to rest. LOL--this is not a big deal for us, just kind of a quiet point of contention, I guess!
WDYT? Should I just get over it, and appreciate that he helps me out as much as he does? Or is it kind of weird? I don't think anything is really going to change -- like I said, I'm mostly ok with it. I'm just curious what other people think!
Re: NBR: DH vent? Question? WDYT?
This is eye-opening for me! It sounds like I'm more in the minority, as a person who doesn't nap well. I jus wake up more groggy and grouchy.
I should point out that part of concern about the health issue is due to DH's mother, who has a history of clinical depression, and sleeps A LOT during the day. She is in bed way more than she is not. So I just worry a little...
I nap every single day now that I'm off work, and I napped every one of my days off when i was working. I think it's just your hormones getting the better of you to all of a sudden be upset with something that has been a normal occurance for a very long time. He's obviously a great help to you, a good provider and a good father, so who cares if he takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon?
imo there is no difference between you sitting on your computer for 2 hours and him napping for 2 hours if it's your way of relaxing.
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
This. And if i could take a nap everyday i would. I am in bed for 10 hours each night. I might not sleep for all of them but if i don't have that time i feel anxious. Feel fortunate that he helps out as much as he does...i envy that. My dh won't lift a finger unless i leave him a note telling him exactly what needs to be done.
Thanks for all the replies! I have a different perspective on this, after hearing others' thoughts. It sounds like DH is right that, given the opportunity, most people would do the same.
I hope no one misread my OP to think that I constantly nag him or anything. I don't. I don't say anything, b/c I truly didn't know if I really had anything to complain and/or worry about. Sounds like I do not.
I will keep these things in mind the next time he is sawing logs in the middle of the afternoon!