3rd Trimester

s/o first time or veteran...

That post got me thinking, for those of you who are veterans, how is this time different?  I don't mean in how you feel and what now, but more on the treatment from others, and other's excitement and such. 

Like, right now, as a firt timer, my DH practically won't let me do anything.  My parents are here almost every weekend to help get things set up.  People at work are always asking how I feel, and basically just everyone goes out of their way to be really helpful.

I can imagine next time, when I've got a toddler (or older infant) to care for, there will be more to get done, and DH won't be as able to help as much.  Will the people at work assume since I've been through it before now, that I don't have to be as coddled? 

Does this post even make sense??  lol  it may be time for bed.  

 Edit:  I suppose I could have summed up this whole long post just by asking, "Do you find that generally people are as excited for you during your second and third etc. pregnancies?"  

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. - Led Zeppelin
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Chemical Pregnancy 10/5/10
BFP 2/7/11--m/c 2/12/11
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Re: s/o first time or veteran...

  • I've wondered the same thing.
  • I honestly wish I had a little more help. Don't get me wrong, my hubby has taken on some things like cleaning the cat box...and...moving heavy things. But I've had such an "easy" pregnancy that no one really feels bad for me! Lol. My closest family is my mom, but she lives 7 hours away...everyone else lives across the country! So for me, I think it might almost be the opposite. This first one...we'll be on our own for probably the first 4-6 months or so, then we'll be moving closer to home and our family. So when we do have another one, I'm sure people will be much more involved and willing and able to help just because were closer to them. I'm not sure now if my response even made sense with your post...I agree...it may be time for bed! Lol
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  • I think the family is more excited this go around b/c it is a girl.  My parents have 5 grandsons so it is a nice addition to have a little girl in the mix.  Also, everyone is so much more willing to help out with everything.  Every Friday night for the past month, my ILs have taken DS for the night so I can sleep in on Sat.  And my mom has taken him on several Saturday nights as well.

    All in all, the excitement and attention is actually greater than with #1.

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  • I've been treated so much better this time than the first..... but I was married to an a$$hole then. :)

    Sorry I can't help

  • I've had a lot of people, esp. ones I don't see a lot, say, "Oh, that's right, I forgot you were pregnant." 

    DH has been much less helpful in general, until I had a PTL scare and now he is slightly more helpful. :)

    Much less fanfare in general, which is fine. I have an active toddler so I don't even notice. 

  • I was young with my children 18 and 20 so I refused to be coddled, I hated the attn. I wanted to prove I was a big girl, lol. This time I want it all about me, and most have been happy to help.
  • My pregnancies have all been a lot alike.   It is tougher with older children, you don't get to sleep or rest every often and when the baby comes there is NO "sleep while the baby is."  

    People are far less excited about subsequent children, I thought #2 was shafted, at least he got a mini party....and some gifts. Nada with three, not that we need it... I am not a gift seeker, we need a few things but no one has asked either...

    Just a few examples, DD got 8 "first baby's Xmas ornaments."  DS got two.   DD has $800 dollars more than DS from baby gifts (we save all their money from gifts). 

    MH is helpful and I think he understands more how hard it is being pregnant after I have been there a few times. 

    HTH


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  • It's actually been a pleasant surprise that in some ways, there's even more excitement and anticipation. I wouldn't have thought it would be that way and it was something I was kind of worried about when TTC #2. Everyone's been really sweet, from DH to family to co-workers. A lot of what I hear is, wow, you must be so tired b/c you have a toddler at home, which of course I sooo appreciate- because they're right! Another part of the increased excitement is anticipating seeing DD as a big sister. I had no idea how excited I would be about that! I don't take for granted everyone's attention and doting, and I try to show how much I appreciate it. Now we'll just have to see how much DH is able to help once the baby is here ;)
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