"Must be a breastfed baby."

7river7wed7

At dinner last night, an old man walked pased and stopped to coo at N, then said, "Look how well behaived she is! Must be a breastfed baby."

I was beaming. I would never say that to a stranger because of how taboo of a topic it has become, but I thought that was funny/weird and at the same time made me feel really good.

charlatti

I had a woman say something like that once -- she said she could tell just by looking at DD that she was a breastfed baby. So weird, I thought, but it made me feel good at the same time.

manda_mullins

Are FF babies not well behaved? I have many friends who FF and their babies are MUCH more calm than my EBF DS lol. 

AutumnBride929

That would make me feel good, too!  Luckily, DS is a very good baby but he only gets a little BM and mostly formula, lol.  Maybe those first two weeks of EBFing did a little something even though I was starving him.

EmmieB

That's so cute!

I can't wait until I'm old and can say whatever I'm thinking 

charlatti

manda_mullins:

Are FF babies not well behaved? I have many friends who FF and their babies are MUCH more calm than my EBF DS lol. 

Same here! That guy must just know lots of calm-tempered BF babies.

HopingForOne

I'm glad that he made you smile, but I think that's a pretty terrible thing to say to someone without knowing if they breastfeed or not.  It's almost like a judgement disguised as a compliment.

Of course, I'm sensitive on the topic because of my low-supply issues, and probably would have cried if someone said that to me, lol.

 I will say, though.  Out of the people I know with babies, the breastfed ones are all MORE fussy....so I'm with the others on that one, lol.

 But, I am SO glad that your baby is calm-tempered!

JssBB6

Wow, I would be proud to if someone said that to me.  I know there are definately reasons people can't BF.  But I had a lot of trouble in the begining and 8 months later I'm pretty dang proud of it. 

KL777

Last year DS's Dermatologist said "He's so happy, I can tell he's a breasfed baby."  You're right it does feel good.

susanmosley

I agree.  I would take it as a compliment.

brideofaussie

HopingForOne:

I'm glad that he made you smile, but I think that's a pretty terrible thing to say to someone without knowing if they breastfeed or not.  It's almost like a judgement disguised as a compliment.

  That's what I was thinking.  What a terrible thing to say.

Can you imagine if he said the opposite, "Hey what a calm baby, he must be FF."  You'd be up in arms!

Either way it's ridiculous.  BF does not make a calm baby.  I think we're all educated enough to know that.

susanmosley

brideofaussie:

HopingForOne:

I'm glad that he made you smile, but I think that's a pretty terrible thing to say to someone without knowing if they breastfeed or not.  It's almost like a judgement disguised as a compliment.

  That's what I was thinking.  What a terrible thing to say.

Can you imagine if he said the opposite, "Hey what a calm baby, he must be FF."  You'd be up in arms!

Either way it's ridiculous.  BF does not make a calm baby.  I think we're all educated enough to know that.

Be up in arms?  No I wouldn't.  i would chuckle and think, "hmm.  how funny" after he walked by.  It's not ridiculous.  It is one measly person's opinion.  Certainly not worth, "up in arms!"

brideofaussie

susanmosley:

brideofaussie:

HopingForOne:

I'm glad that he made you smile, but I think that's a pretty terrible thing to say to someone without knowing if they breastfeed or not.  It's almost like a judgement disguised as a compliment.

  That's what I was thinking.  What a terrible thing to say.

Can you imagine if he said the opposite, "Hey what a calm baby, he must be FF."  You'd be up in arms!

Either way it's ridiculous.  BF does not make a calm baby.  I think we're all educated enough to know that.

Be up in arms?  No I wouldn't.  i would chuckle and think, "hmm.  how funny" after he walked by.  It's not ridiculous.  It is one measly person's opinion.  Certainly not worth, "up in arms!"

  if you'd think "how funny" if he said FF babies were well behaved, why wouldn't you say it when he said BF babies were well behaved?

My point was that b/c it's not true there is no reason to take it as a compliment b/c as the PP said, it is also a backhanded criticism of those who FF.

It's like when I was pg people would say to me, "Oh your baby will be nice and calm b/c you and DH are calm."  While that was a nice thing to say, it is completely untrue. 

Just like a strange old man telling you your baby is well behaved is nice, saying it's b/c you BF is completely and utterly untrue and does a disservice to women who FF.

funchicken

It was an odd comment for someone to make, but I don't think the OP was trying to piss anybody off by posting this.  It feels good when other people validate our parenting choices.  I couldn't bf either, but I'm not offended. 

7river7wed7

mrszee2b:

It was an odd comment for someone to make, but I don't think the OP was trying to piss anybody off by posting this.  It feels good when other people validate our parenting choices.  I couldn't bf either, but I'm not offended. 

Thanks for clarifying that for me! I did think it was an odd comment and the first thing out of my mouth when he walked away was something to the effect of old people having no sensors and that I would never say that to someone. None-the-less I did take it as a compliment and I'm sorry if that offends you.

brideofaussie

7river7wed7:

mrszee2b:

It was an odd comment for someone to make, but I don't think the OP was trying to piss anybody off by posting this.  It feels good when other people validate our parenting choices.  I couldn't bf either, but I'm not offended. 

Thanks for clarifying that for me! I did think it was an odd comment and the first thing out of my mouth when he walked away was something to the effect of old people having no sensors and that I would never say that to someone. None-the-less I did take it as a compliment and I'm sorry if that offends you.

It's not offensive, just surprising to me.  It just perpetuates bad, outdated stereotypes.

susanmosley

brideofaussie:

7river7wed7:

mrszee2b:

It was an odd comment for someone to make, but I don't think the OP was trying to piss anybody off by posting this.  It feels good when other people validate our parenting choices.  I couldn't bf either, but I'm not offended. 

Thanks for clarifying that for me! I did think it was an odd comment and the first thing out of my mouth when he walked away was something to the effect of old people having no sensors and that I would never say that to someone. None-the-less I did take it as a compliment and I'm sorry if that offends you.

It's not offensive, just surprising to me.  It just perpetuates bad, outdated stereotypes.

big eye roll