Parenting after 35

4 days post partum...

And I am exhausted beyond belief!  I'm EBF right now and having to get up every few hours to feed LO.  And while I know I should sleep when she sleeps, I have a hard time sleeping as I'm listening to every little noise she makes in anticipation of having to get up.  Plus, between the hormones (can't tell you how many times I've cried...) and trying to heal from the c-section - I'm completely spent.  And I know I should be eating more, but honestly between the mental and physical exhaustion I have no interest in eating and actually feel nauseous.  Please tell me this gets easier...I mean, I know it gets easier, but I just need some reassurance.

MIL is arriving tomorrow and has an open ended ticket.  She's wonderful (reminds me of my own mom, who passed away 3 yrs ago) and I'm really looking forward to her visit.  I'm one of those people that doesn't like to ask for help, which was a problem when I was put on bed rest - and now is affecting me post-partum.  DH is wonderful and helps when and where he can.

Sooooo sleepy and weepy....


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Re: 4 days post partum...

  • yes yes yes it gets easier. You have to try to sleep when she sleeps or you will truly run yourself ragged!! I promise it will all get easier. Each day you will feel stronger after your c-section..when your MIL arrives accept all the help you can and you will be a much happier and better mommy!
  • Yes, it gets MUCH easier.  I'll tell you now, you are in the trenches.  Those first few weeks are HARD.  So take help -- and direct them ("MIL, could you please fix dinner/do a load of laundry/hold the baby while I shower/nap/scream/etc.").  Some people need explicit direction or else are too afraid to do anything or it just never crosses their minds.  And as for the sleeping -- that sounds exactly like I was with DD and it was awful (with #2 you are substantially more relaxed).  Here's the thing -- babies are noisy sleepers.  Seriously.  They grunt, sigh, move around, have mini-wakes where they wake up to make sure they are safe and then fall back asleep okay and so on.  So realize that and start tuning out the noises.  She'll let you know when she needs you and you'll learn what noises mean she is really waking up.  It's all trial and error.  But don't rush to pick her up unless she is clearly awake.  This is the trial part.  I found oftentimes I would be picking up DD or DS thinking they were waking up and they really were just stirring and kind of semi awake.  You may find she sleeps longer than you think she can as she grows by doing this.  And within a month or two, you will be in a totally different adn much better place.  GL!!!

    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • I can't comment on the c/s recovery, but I can say that the rest definitely gets easier.

    I agree with the  others that you need, need, need to accept help. Whether it's offers of food or cleaning or to watch LO while you take a bath, every little bit helps!

    Good luck and hugs!

  • Oh Carla, I feel for you.  We all know what you're going through and rest assured that it WILL get better, little by little, day by day.  Like teh PP mentioned, please do accept any and all the help you can get.  PLease get PLENTY of rest, even if it's just sitting on the couch for 1/2 hr looking at some tv, or reading a book for a little while, or taking a short walk outside, but just get some.  It's so very important that you do.  The c/s will heal, but it hurts like a biotch once the meds wear off, I hope you were prescribed some?  It will sting, you will feel it pulling inside, but as long as it remains closed and dry, you will be fine.  About 2wks after the surgery, I started putting vit E and Neosporin on it to minimize the scar.  It has helped.  Be very careful about picking heavy things up, let your DH take the car seat carrier and also take your time getting out of bed.  After LO arrived my depession was so bad, I told my mom that I had made a mistake having this child and for her to take care of him (yeah, right!)  that was the hormones talking!  I cannot even imagine saying that now.  You will feel extremely depressed and like you mentioned, cry for anything and nothing.  My DH was freaked out, he had never experienced this before but I was lucid enough to tell him that if this lasts for more than 2-3 wks to bring me to the doc.  He was extremenly helpful with everything.  I'm sooo glad you have help coming your way too.  You will need it, please use it to your advantage.  It DOES get better, promise!  We're here for you with anything that you need.  Sending you lots of healing and happy dust !  Enjoy that beautiful little girl of yours.  :o)

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  • Everyone who PP is right - you need to make sure you take care of yourself. Have your MIL do everything possible. Food, laundry, change diapers.  And take naps during the day knowing that someone is watching over your LO. I couldn't unless I knew someone was awake watching my baby.

    Also to try to keep PPD at bay, make sure to get out of the house with or without your baby.  Run errands, go for a walk, quickly visit a friend. That will help.

    It does get better - these weeks will fly by but the days will seem to take forever.

  • You do get used to it!  I remember my hormones made me a wet, soggy mess about 4 days after birth, and it took a week for that to clear out.  For food, instant oatmeal packets and single-serving yogurt rocks for when you don't have time to get anything more substantial.  Babywearing, like with a sling, helps if you have a cuddly baby who just wants to be held all the time.

    It does get better!  :)

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  • Thanks, everyone....I knew in my heart/head it gets easier, but I just needed to hear it from you all that have just been through it too.  Friday night was much, much better, but last night was the toughest yet.  But, when she looks at me with those little eyes, I just melt....

    I've gotten so tired with her during some of the night feedings that I've fallen asleep.....I'm afraid I'm going to drop her!   

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