New here....how to "untell"

roxysurf99

We found out today that we lost the baby. I was 11 weeks and we announced to everyone on Monday that we were expecting again.  Now I have to go about "untelling" and I don't know if I can.  I want don't want to talk about it with everyone.  I can't believe we told, this was my worst nightmare... untelling.  Ugh.  I am at a complete loss.  Just rambling.  Thanks for listening.  Just reading a few posts here and I can't believe how kind and supportive you girls are.

Scout05

I am so, so sorry for your loss. My mom actually wrote a nice email with my input and sent it to everyone. I asked that people just give us space and let us get in touch with them. DH and I also posted simple messages on FB asking our friends to send us prayers and good thoughts rather than comments or letters. Everyone was very respectful of our wishes.

crystalknpp

I let my parents do alot of the "untelling". We had told immediate family and some close friends but I was such a mess right after the ectopic pregnancy I couldnt even talk about it with DH without crying. So DH called my parents and his parents while I was in surgery for the ectopic pregnancy and they told the rest of the family that knew. I just didnt wanna have to relive the whole situation again everytime I told somebody what happened.

docmay25

We found out that we lost the baby right after we started telling people too.  I actually told my boss the day I found out I was having a miscarriage.  I told her in the morning and had to leave work early to go to the doctor.  I wouldn't of told my work so early in my pg but I had to leave due to being a high risk pg to begin with and the kind of job I do.

Anyway, I told our parents and our best friend and asked them to tell everyone for us.  It was easier that way rather than having to tell everyone ourselves. 

I am so sorry for your loss.  My thoughts are with you at this unbearable time.  be gentle with yourself.

MSC03

Is there anyone who can do this for you? If you're not up to it, you shouldn't do it.

jennsadye1979

I so sorry to hear of your loss.

I was very cavalier with telling people I was pregnant, so I had a lot of people to tell I wasn't anymore. It was hardest in the first few days, I couldn't open my mouth to say the words without crying. But it does get easier as time passes, believe me.  I told my parents, and they spread the news to family for us, and a few close friends told other friends. I have a couple friends who still don't know, but I haven't found a good opening to tell them yet, and will probably end up sending them an email, or have my hubs do it.

tradster2007

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I was completely incapable of talking to anyone after my m/c, and luckily my husband was strong enough to tell the close friends that we wanted to know. We had not told many people, but I knew there was no way I could do it.  I also asked my DH to be sure to tell everyone not to ask me about it or tell me they were sorry because I knew I couldn't even handle their sympathy/pity.  I actually wimped out at work and told my boss through voicemail because I knew there was no way I could actually do it in person.  Let your DH and family help you as much as possible.  You should be focuing on YOU right now and people will understand if you don't want to talk about it.  Again, I'm so sorry you're even having to ask the question, but I know the ladies on here will give you great support and advice when you need it.     

CeCe04

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Personally I told my sister, who passed it on to my mom, who passed it on to the rest of the family. DH told his mom who passed it on to his family. That way we didn't have to call like a bunch of people..I never would have been able too. Maybe see if you can talk to one family member and have them handle it for you? It helped for us not to have to do it. (The first loss we had told more people and called alot of them, and it was way too hard.)

Do what will be most comfortable for you, when you're ready. hugs

schen0510

I am so sorry for your loss.  I was a little over 19w when we lost our boys so everyone that knew me knew I was pregnant as I had a huge twin belly.  DH wrote a wonderful email and sent it out to all of our friends, family, and coworkers.  It made it so much easier for the 2 of us.  We still had to talk about it but it was not as difficult and people were very considerate of our feelings.  ((hugs))

lewis514

I'm so sorry for your loss. My DH called my best friend plus my best coworker (who was in charge of updating all my work friends) and explained everything to them who passed the word around. My Mom and MIL took charge of informing the family.

kshields104

I'm so sorry for your loss.  We called my parents from the ER and they told my family.  I called two of my close co-workers and they basically relayed the message to all my friends at work that knew.  I called all my close friends and told them.  The hardest part is all the "I'm sorry" hugs and looks you get from people.  To me, that is the hardest and each time I am not sure, do I cry or just act fine. 

firefightersgal

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I sent text messages and emails to everyone.  The only person we called to tell was my mom--and my DH did that.  It is a lot easier to write it out (IMO), than to actually say the words.

smileees4u

I felt the same way when it happened to me. I had just told my work on Monday, and lost the baby a week later.  My dad typed up a very nice email and sent it out to our friends and family. At work, my principal didn't go into details, but said enough that people figured it out.  I was nervous to go back to work, but everyone treated me so well and it was amazing through emails and in person conversation, how many people shared their stories.  This is more common than people think. You will make it through!  Lean on your friends and family and cry and talk about when you need to. Talking about what happened and not hiding it, made me feel so much better.

kamile78

I'm sorry for your loss.  I sent out a text to the people I told - "Today we lost a precious gift.  Please no calls, just your prayers".  I could not handle talking with everyone because I could barely get it out when I told DH, mom, dad, and sister.

HeatherPB1020

I am so so sorry for your loss. I had a m/c at 8w4d and we had only told some close family and friends.  It was so hard to untell.  But, we just sent a text out to our friends and called our parents.  I know a text is not personal... but I just could bring myself to call everyone.