To find out or not to find out....?

winomom22

I really want to find out the sex this time, DH does not because he likes being surprised. We didn't with DD and while the surpise was nice, I felt like I didn't really bond with her during pregnancy because I couldn't even envision her since it was an unknown. I had PPD and didn't bond with her initially after birth either and am hoping that maybe finding out this time will help with that. What should we do?

Bellisimo

I'm all for finding out.  In fact, I can't even wait until 20 wks. to find out...I have a serious need to know before then! 

mommyd4

We found out with our dd but dh wants our next to be a surprise. After reading your post I'm a little afraid now. Why don't you just find out and let dh be surprised.

ValAndRyan

Since your 1st one was a surprise perhaps you should find out this time. Maybe keeping it from everyone else a surprise or the baby's name? I would definitely want to know.

shopgirl78

Tough call. I wanted a surprise this time but couldn't hold out.  I think I am glad I did though.  I cried after the big u/s, I guess I wanted a girl more (and was morning what I thought I was going to have, this pregnancy is more like my first)....not saying that it would but I would have hated for that to happen in the delivery room.

However I found out with DD and bonded with her all pregnancy but not so much afterwards.  We both had rough recoveries! 

true_norskie

We didn't find out with #1 and DID find out with #2.  I liked both.

DH and I were not going to find out with #2 but changed our minds when the tech said she could see and had never been wrong in all her years of doing that.  We decided then and there to find out.

I really liked experiencing both sides of the coin.

VivaAmore

I'm all for finding out too. My first wouldn't cooperate and I kind of felt the same way you did with the bonding issue. This time we found out just a few weeks before the birth and I think it did help with the bonding, but I also think that better bonding had to do with being more prepared the 2nd time around.

I did not have ANY PPD this time. In fact it was very much the opposite!

Ciarrai

I can't resist finding out.  We always have.  Good thing too since we were convinced this was girl #3 and we're having a boy.  But, yes, I totally understand what you mean about bonding better.  I have a lot of trouble until we have a name picked.  I'm having the worst time with this PG.  I think it's just been a rough couple months and I'm just overwhelmed.  Still, I'm anxious to give him a name thinking that might help me get more excited and less overwhelmed... 

femmegem

I just can't imagine not finding out. I'm not good at waiting.

hopefulmom

I never found out with any of them.  I don't think finding out the sex has ANYTHING to do with bonding whatsoever.  If that were the case there would be some really messed up people when for 7 or more months mommy and daddy were expecting a baby daughter and got a son...or the other way around.  I like the surprise at the end...and I think it helps with labor because you really want to know what the sex is...as does everyone else.  lol